Battlefields
Over the generations, we lose our connection to the past17 total reviews
Comment from Iza Deleanu
"You can still see the old, stone wall
Where those soldiers once stood in a row
Standing firm in the face of fire
For the country they believed in
And in which we live today,
Sacrificing themselves in the hour of trial
On this ground hallowed by their blood.", you captured my attention from the first line, I have seen those walls and rows in every country I've been... there are still parents out-there waiting for a sign from their believed child. Thankyou for sharing and good luck with your writings.
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2023
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"You can still see the old, stone wall
Where those soldiers once stood in a row
Standing firm in the face of fire
For the country they believed in
And in which we live today,
Sacrificing themselves in the hour of trial
On this ground hallowed by their blood.", you captured my attention from the first line, I have seen those walls and rows in every country I've been... there are still parents out-there waiting for a sign from their believed child. Thankyou for sharing and good luck with your writings.
Comment Written 20-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2023
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Thanks again for the sixer and it is always helpful to hear specifically from reviewers what worked and what didn't. I appreciate it. estory
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
We soon forget the battle and move on and those who sacrificed their lives for peace are buried and forgotten. This is why remembrance day is so important as we must never forget those who died trying to keep the peace, a fine poem, I hung onto your every word here, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2023
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We soon forget the battle and move on and those who sacrificed their lives for peace are buried and forgotten. This is why remembrance day is so important as we must never forget those who died trying to keep the peace, a fine poem, I hung onto your every word here, love Dolly x
Comment Written 18-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2023
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Thanks for the excellent review and your wonderful words of support for the theme of this piece. It's nice to know some people haven't forgotten the sacrifices of the past generations. What's sad is the young people seem more self absorbed and motivated by the popularity culture than ever before. estory
Comment from Navada
I think you've perfectly captured that gap between mindful remembrance and the fast-paced action of daily life. I think people became aware of this during covid lockdowns and embraced the opportunity for reflection at that time, but have resumed their busy schedules once they were able. Two little things to fix - typos of "shoppers" and "buried" in the third and fifth stanzas. Is there also an extra space after "equipment"? Sometimes it's a formatting thing or my eyes might deceive me. I think your message here is an important and powerful one about the contrast between pursuing money and valuing other things appropriately. You've deployed it beautifully.
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2023
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I think you've perfectly captured that gap between mindful remembrance and the fast-paced action of daily life. I think people became aware of this during covid lockdowns and embraced the opportunity for reflection at that time, but have resumed their busy schedules once they were able. Two little things to fix - typos of "shoppers" and "buried" in the third and fifth stanzas. Is there also an extra space after "equipment"? Sometimes it's a formatting thing or my eyes might deceive me. I think your message here is an important and powerful one about the contrast between pursuing money and valuing other things appropriately. You've deployed it beautifully.
Comment Written 17-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2023
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Thanks for the excellent review and your wonderful words of support for my poem. I will take a look at the spag. But it is encouraging that so many people seemed to find the words inspiring. estory
Comment from Janis M.
I absolutely love this! I love history especially as it is incorporated into poetry and art. It's extremely well written, reading equally as both prose and poetry. The thoughts dribble in piece by piece so the reader can digest them.
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2023
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I absolutely love this! I love history especially as it is incorporated into poetry and art. It's extremely well written, reading equally as both prose and poetry. The thoughts dribble in piece by piece so the reader can digest them.
Comment Written 17-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2023
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Thanks so much for the excellent review and for your words of support for my poem. estory
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
Hi, I enjoyed your poem dedicated to the sacrifices of the men and women who have died for our freedom. Meanwhile, we build our worlds over their blood stained ground. Do we remember and honor their sacrifices? Maybe at some level, but they didn't die in vain, we enjoy the freedom even if we forget to thank the ones who made it all possible.
Take care,
Rhonda
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2023
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Hi, I enjoyed your poem dedicated to the sacrifices of the men and women who have died for our freedom. Meanwhile, we build our worlds over their blood stained ground. Do we remember and honor their sacrifices? Maybe at some level, but they didn't die in vain, we enjoy the freedom even if we forget to thank the ones who made it all possible.
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment Written 16-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2023
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Thanks so much for the excellent review and your words of support for my poem. I hope I got some people thinking about how much we take for granted and how much we overlook and even erase...estory
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True words!
Comment from Alexandra Trovato
This is very well written and your Author Note is informative and helpful, We've been here before. I know what you mean and I'm not dismissing that: I'm just saying what I have to tell myself. in the 80s, people only cared about money. There was no real internet nor cell phone, but it was considered the Me Generation. Greed and superficial thinking ruled. For many reasons, today is worse, but I mean to say, we can pull back from this. Discussions like this are what we need. Thank you for sharing.
Best wishes,
Alex
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2023
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This is very well written and your Author Note is informative and helpful, We've been here before. I know what you mean and I'm not dismissing that: I'm just saying what I have to tell myself. in the 80s, people only cared about money. There was no real internet nor cell phone, but it was considered the Me Generation. Greed and superficial thinking ruled. For many reasons, today is worse, but I mean to say, we can pull back from this. Discussions like this are what we need. Thank you for sharing.
Best wishes,
Alex
Comment Written 16-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2023
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Thanks for the excellent review and I am heartened by the idea that my little poem could be a start for getting people to thinking about where they came from and what sacrifices people went through to get us to this point. People are so self absorbed these days. It is sad. estory
Comment from JSD
Some excellent free verse here and some wise words too. The imagery and choice of vocabulary are assured and most effective. Well done and thank you for sharing this.
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2023
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Some excellent free verse here and some wise words too. The imagery and choice of vocabulary are assured and most effective. Well done and thank you for sharing this.
Comment Written 16-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2023
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Thanks for the excellent review and I am glad you found the poem so evocative. estory
Comment from patcelaw
The world does seem to be moving on to a place that is worse than ever has been before and we who were born several decades ago, are saying the destruction that is going on and we're scratching your head wondering what's happening. Patricia.
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2023
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The world does seem to be moving on to a place that is worse than ever has been before and we who were born several decades ago, are saying the destruction that is going on and we're scratching your head wondering what's happening. Patricia.
Comment Written 15-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2023
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Thanks for the excellent review and for your words of support for my little poem. I hope the poem can get people thinking, or at least keep them focused on something important. We are living in a time of iconoclasts again and it will take some force to push back against it all. estory
Comment from Jesse James Doty
Just like Joni Mitchell's lyrics, we pave paradise and put up a parking lot. I always seem to get involved more with your notes than the poem itself. You have written the same thing but in different ways over and over again, my friend.
We value money over anything else and maybe it has always been that way in our country, I don't know for sure. Money rules the country!
Jesse
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2023
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Just like Joni Mitchell's lyrics, we pave paradise and put up a parking lot. I always seem to get involved more with your notes than the poem itself. You have written the same thing but in different ways over and over again, my friend.
We value money over anything else and maybe it has always been that way in our country, I don't know for sure. Money rules the country!
Jesse
Comment Written 15-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2023
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Thanks for the excellent review and for your perspective on the theme here. I agree that so much in our country today revolves around money. The corporate executives have been selling this country and its workers out for years and years to make money for themselves in places like China. It's a crime. But it is a reality. It is true I think that the founding fathers were very much interested in power and money. estory
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The Founding Fathers of this country were interested in power and money.
Which explains, in part, why we are in the mess we are in.
I hope you realize how important your poetry is on this site...it is extremely important and valuable.
Jesse
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It's very encouraging to hear comments like this about my work. There are also lots of other promising writers who probably will never get to get published because of the way the publishing industry works today. Sad to say. estory
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It's very encouraging to hear comments like this about my work. There are also lots of other promising writers who probably will never get to get published because of the way the publishing industry works today. Sad to say. estory
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True enough, but don't let the publishing industry get in your way of writing what is close to your heart.
Jesse
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
A very interesting poem and author notes. I agree that our country is divided and heading for fascism if Trump wins the presidentcy. Our founding fathers would be horrified. I pray for our country and our democracy.
Well done.
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2023
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A very interesting poem and author notes. I agree that our country is divided and heading for fascism if Trump wins the presidentcy. Our founding fathers would be horrified. I pray for our country and our democracy.
Well done.
Comment Written 15-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2023
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Thanks for the excellent review and your perspective on the poem. I don't put much hope in either political party nowadays. They're all criminals. Look at Menendez selling out state secrets to Egypt for gold bars. estory
