2023 Gypsy's Haiku
Viewing comments for Chapter 100 "Our Park Bench"x
17 total reviews
Comment from Wendyanne
This is a very sad and poignant piece of poetry written in the form of a senryu. I found it to be very moving as it suggest the loss of a loved one either through death or break up of a relationship. I found it beautiful!
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2023
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This is a very sad and poignant piece of poetry written in the form of a senryu. I found it to be very moving as it suggest the loss of a loved one either through death or break up of a relationship. I found it beautiful!
Comment Written 08-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2023
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Yes! you got it. Thank you, Wendy, I appreciate that you took the time to read and review my poem. Have a wonderful day (*=*)
Gypsy hugs
Comment from Navada
I really liked the implied loneliness and absence evoked in this piece. Where is the missing person who should be here on "our park bench" where now there is only "a pile of fallen leaves"? What happened to them? Will they return or are they gone forever? I like it when poetry leaves some room for the reader to imagine and interpret. Beautiful writing as always.
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2023
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I really liked the implied loneliness and absence evoked in this piece. Where is the missing person who should be here on "our park bench" where now there is only "a pile of fallen leaves"? What happened to them? Will they return or are they gone forever? I like it when poetry leaves some room for the reader to imagine and interpret. Beautiful writing as always.
Comment Written 08-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2023
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Thank you very much for your excellent review and kind words. Have a wonderful day.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from Jumbo J
Hi MariVal,
rather smacks one in the face with a feeling of melancholy on the realisation in its conclusion. This is no walk in the park... or even just a sit on a bench enjoying the autumn visual you painted with your words and image. No breathing in the vapours of joy here... just the vacuum of memories.
You brought the feeling of loss alive within so few words... the echoes live within the pile of fallen leaves. To create this kind of impact is the key to your craft and what makes this Senryu a standout in my humble opinion.
With our thoughts we create...
indelible memories.
Warmest regards,
James.
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2023
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Hi MariVal,
rather smacks one in the face with a feeling of melancholy on the realisation in its conclusion. This is no walk in the park... or even just a sit on a bench enjoying the autumn visual you painted with your words and image. No breathing in the vapours of joy here... just the vacuum of memories.
You brought the feeling of loss alive within so few words... the echoes live within the pile of fallen leaves. To create this kind of impact is the key to your craft and what makes this Senryu a standout in my humble opinion.
With our thoughts we create...
indelible memories.
Warmest regards,
James.
Comment Written 07-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2023
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James (*÷*) hello again, it's so good to hear from you. Know that when you are not around, you are deeply missed.
I'm happy you like this one and got the meaning perfectly.
I appreciate your insightful and exceptional six stars review.
Cariņo y Abrazos
Marival
"To the world you may be just one person, but to one person you may be the world."--Dr Seuss
Comment from Lea Tonin1
What a gorgeous poem and a stunning picture too you always have such great artistry! Your palm speaks to me of a peaceful day with your significant other just watching the fall be the fall.
Lovely picture from a very talented lady!
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2023
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What a gorgeous poem and a stunning picture too you always have such great artistry! Your palm speaks to me of a peaceful day with your significant other just watching the fall be the fall.
Lovely picture from a very talented lady!
Comment Written 07-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2023
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Thank you very much for your excellent review and kind words.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
With the accompanying visual, this is so atmospheric and calming. Although Autumn isn't mentioned, it's colours and descriptive detail skilfully evoke the changing season. Beautifully done. Thanks for sharing, Gypsy. Debbie
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2023
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With the accompanying visual, this is so atmospheric and calming. Although Autumn isn't mentioned, it's colours and descriptive detail skilfully evoke the changing season. Beautifully done. Thanks for sharing, Gypsy. Debbie
Comment Written 07-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2023
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Thank you very much, I appreciate your excellent review and feedback.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from Dawn of Tomorrow
Awww that's very well written. Sad. Very descriptive. On these short ones, we must be able to feel the emotion and see the scene without help and you have succeeded with that. Very well done.
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2023
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Awww that's very well written. Sad. Very descriptive. On these short ones, we must be able to feel the emotion and see the scene without help and you have succeeded with that. Very well done.
Comment Written 07-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2023
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Thank you very much, I appreciate your excellent review and feedback.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from dragonpoet
Hi MariVal.
This is so sad senryu. It shows a person who is missing a spouse that has died.
I like the color scheme throughout the artwork and the font.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Have an enjoyable week.
Joan
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2023
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Hi MariVal.
This is so sad senryu. It shows a person who is missing a spouse that has died.
I like the color scheme throughout the artwork and the font.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Have an enjoyable week.
Joan
Comment Written 07-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2023
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Joan,
You are right, not everyone gets that the spouse has died. But that is okay, part of the beauty of haiku is that it may mean different things to different people.
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You are most kindly welcome, MariVal.
Joan
Comment from Alexandra Trovato
This is an excellent poem and presentation. Readers will relate to those observations from when life changes happen. You may be somewhere you once went to often with another, and the absence of the person seems to now be part of the scenery. I have felt that before. Most recently, after my dad passed, and he was missing from a dinner table. Those feelings are real, and you expressed them through your words and imagery.
Best wishes,
Alexan
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2023
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This is an excellent poem and presentation. Readers will relate to those observations from when life changes happen. You may be somewhere you once went to often with another, and the absence of the person seems to now be part of the scenery. I have felt that before. Most recently, after my dad passed, and he was missing from a dinner table. Those feelings are real, and you expressed them through your words and imagery.
Best wishes,
Alexan
Comment Written 07-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2023
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Alexan,
thank you very much, I appreciate your excellent review and feedback.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from aryr
This was a great senryu, Gypsy. I loved the picture of the park bench with the lonely lady with a pile of leaves next to her. Very well done and greatly enjoyed. Blessed Be n Hugs!!!
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2023
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This was a great senryu, Gypsy. I loved the picture of the park bench with the lonely lady with a pile of leaves next to her. Very well done and greatly enjoyed. Blessed Be n Hugs!!!
Comment Written 07-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2023
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Thank you very much, I appreciate your excellent review and feedback.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I like how the pile of leaves signifies the other person is missing, whether a loved one or good friend. Thank you for sharing this beautiful presentation with us. My heart is going out to the lady in the artwork.
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2023
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I like how the pile of leaves signifies the other person is missing, whether a loved one or good friend. Thank you for sharing this beautiful presentation with us. My heart is going out to the lady in the artwork.
Comment Written 07-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2023
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Thank you for taking the time to read and review my poem. you are right :) thank you for the kind words.
Gypsy
