A Particular Friendship
Viewing comments for Chapter 13 "The Lamp in the Storm"We meet Lizzy who has just come out of the convent
15 total reviews
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Will have to follow this, if it is your autobiography. If it is supposed to be, any reason you marked it Fiction instead of Non-Fiction?
Lights going out tends to terrify young children quickly. Bet that need for water evaporated rapidly.
A tree fell on the house. Not good. Suppose there was plenty of damage from that happening.
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2023
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Will have to follow this, if it is your autobiography. If it is supposed to be, any reason you marked it Fiction instead of Non-Fiction?
Lights going out tends to terrify young children quickly. Bet that need for water evaporated rapidly.
A tree fell on the house. Not good. Suppose there was plenty of damage from that happening.
Comment Written 29-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2023
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Thank you for your alert review. I did not mark it fiction or non fiction. I'll address it. You are welcome to check out any previous chapters, There is no need for a review, just enjoy my autobiography
Comment from Beck Fenton
I'm going to try and catch up on the other chapters. I know it is difficult to write a memoir, but be vigilant on continuity...keeping your time flowing...
" I frequently drive by a place where several houses just washed into the rumbling river. "
Do not drive when you are three. Smile
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2023
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I'm going to try and catch up on the other chapters. I know it is difficult to write a memoir, but be vigilant on continuity...keeping your time flowing...
" I frequently drive by a place where several houses just washed into the rumbling river. "
Do not drive when you are three. Smile
Comment Written 28-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2023
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Beck, Thank you for your alert review. Feel free to check out the previous chapters, no review needed.
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Good work. Nicely done.
sensing danger, in the whispers. - You don't need this comma.
Recall is pretty amazing for having been only three.
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2023
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Good work. Nicely done.
sensing danger, in the whispers. - You don't need this comma.
Recall is pretty amazing for having been only three.
Best wishes.
Comment Written 27-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2023
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Thank you for your involved review.
It was so traumatizing, both my brother & I & my little friend Timmy remember the details.
I have PTSD from it, that's why Bea the Wee Bear, who is me, told of a branch crashing through the roof of her cave home
Comment from Judith B.
This is a stunning piece of writing. You put the reader into the "story" emotionally and foreshadow terrible things in the future. It must be both difficult and therapeutic to write so honestly. I will watch for future chapters.
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2023
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This is a stunning piece of writing. You put the reader into the "story" emotionally and foreshadow terrible things in the future. It must be both difficult and therapeutic to write so honestly. I will watch for future chapters.
Comment Written 26-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2023
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Thank you for your involved review. You are welcome to read the previous chapters. No review is necessary, just enjoy
Comment from Alexandra Trovato
Yes, first person is the most natural voice for an autobiography because that way, the words can just stream out from your memory. You have done this well, here. As I read, I felt as if I were looking through your eyes, in the moment you were describing. It was very effective and as a reader, I felt surrounded by the action and the emotion. Well done!
Best wishes,
Alexandra
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2023
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Yes, first person is the most natural voice for an autobiography because that way, the words can just stream out from your memory. You have done this well, here. As I read, I felt as if I were looking through your eyes, in the moment you were describing. It was very effective and as a reader, I felt surrounded by the action and the emotion. Well done!
Best wishes,
Alexandra
Comment Written 26-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2023
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Thank you for your supportive review. It's nice to know how it comes across & I've made theright decision to change to 1st person
Comment from eliz100
I am surprised how well you remember this event at age three. I know memories connected to emotions are the ones that stick with us. I don't see any room for improvement. Have a blessed day.
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2023
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I am surprised how well you remember this event at age three. I know memories connected to emotions are the ones that stick with us. I don't see any room for improvement. Have a blessed day.
Comment Written 24-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2023
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Thank you for your involved review. My brother was 2 & he remember some of it. This gave me PTSD. This is why in Bea the Wee Bear (who is me) in my autobiographical allegorical series, Bea tells of a branch crashing through the roof of her cave home.
Comment from Wendyanne
Wow what a very lucky escape you had!! I enjoyed this autobiographical story as I find it interesting to hear about other people's experiences. I look forward to reading more
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2023
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Wow what a very lucky escape you had!! I enjoyed this autobiographical story as I find it interesting to hear about other people's experiences. I look forward to reading more
Comment Written 24-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2023
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Welcome & Thank you for your involved review. If you are interested, you are welcome to read the previous chapters with no review required, just enjoy.
Comment from lyenochka
Loved the way you told this. I could hear both your grownup voice which relayed the worry of your mother and your three-year-old voice. I loved the personification of the grumbling brook. And all would have seemed okay except the shocking reality of the damage done by the storm like the tree on your roof!
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2023
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Loved the way you told this. I could hear both your grownup voice which relayed the worry of your mother and your three-year-old voice. I loved the personification of the grumbling brook. And all would have seemed okay except the shocking reality of the damage done by the storm like the tree on your roof!
Comment Written 24-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2023
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Thank you for your involved review. This is why Bea (who is me) told of the branch crashing through the roof of her cave.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
I am so glad you are now writing in first person. When memories are your own, it is very hard to get the pronouns right when telling it in the third person. This is an interesting story when a hurricane visits.
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2023
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I am so glad you are now writing in first person. When memories are your own, it is very hard to get the pronouns right when telling it in the third person. This is an interesting story when a hurricane visits.
Comment Written 23-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2023
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Thank you for your intensely involved review. This incident is why Bea the wee bear (who is me) told of a branch crashing through the roof of her cave home.
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Thank you for your involved review. This is why Bea the wee bear (who is me) told of a large branch crashing through the roof of her cave
Comment from Debi Pick Marquette
And what a beautiful job you have done of this chapter. As soon as I can get back, I will read more. But I am trying to pick a few of so many that have been so good to me, and review here and there. And I started with you, as you have been so good to me, even when only getting a few pennies for it.
This story was fascinating, and like I said written very well. I loved the way you told it, the excitement had me holding my breath at the most suspenseful times. Wow, what a horrible night for you two little ones and your mother. She was a very brave woman and I am so glad that it turned out well. I know you only touched on the touching of Trudy's dad because of drinking. I pray that never became more serious.
This was so interesting right from the start and I am so glad that you made it to your friends house to sleep that night and that your house didn't slip away. But coming from an area where we get lots of tornadoes, I know how it is at taking my kids down the basement and keeping them from fear.
Thank you for this awesome chapter, Liz, as it truly had me involved the whole time. I can't wait till I come back for more.
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2023
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And what a beautiful job you have done of this chapter. As soon as I can get back, I will read more. But I am trying to pick a few of so many that have been so good to me, and review here and there. And I started with you, as you have been so good to me, even when only getting a few pennies for it.
This story was fascinating, and like I said written very well. I loved the way you told it, the excitement had me holding my breath at the most suspenseful times. Wow, what a horrible night for you two little ones and your mother. She was a very brave woman and I am so glad that it turned out well. I know you only touched on the touching of Trudy's dad because of drinking. I pray that never became more serious.
This was so interesting right from the start and I am so glad that you made it to your friends house to sleep that night and that your house didn't slip away. But coming from an area where we get lots of tornadoes, I know how it is at taking my kids down the basement and keeping them from fear.
Thank you for this awesome chapter, Liz, as it truly had me involved the whole time. I can't wait till I come back for more.
Comment Written 23-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2023
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Thank you for your intensely involved review. I noticed the shiny 6...wow. This incident is why Bea the wee bear (who is me) told of a branch crashing through the roof of her cave home. I am honored, for your words. Thank you.
