Smile - A Natural Gesture
Beware fake smiles . . .3 total reviews
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
You used the word light far too much. Beam, brightness, flare, glint, glare, illumination, lux, luminate, glow, bulb, ray, wattage, etc. Those are good ones. A little fiddle and it could be great, instead of nice.
Karen
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2023
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You used the word light far too much. Beam, brightness, flare, glint, glare, illumination, lux, luminate, glow, bulb, ray, wattage, etc. Those are good ones. A little fiddle and it could be great, instead of nice.
Karen
Comment Written 19-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2023
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You are so right.
Guess I?ll lose your vote.
- Lobber
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You can't get all sixes. Karen
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You can't get all sixes. Karen
Comment from Eleri
This poem Has the correct number of syllables per line for the contest and reads well. However, I was taught that when you rhyme a would ending in 'ing' it has to be the root of the word that rhymes not the 'ing' bit, ie charming rhymes with disarming but not with lighting. Therefore, the contest organisers may have problems with some of your rhymes. I would check it with them before the cut off date just to be on the safe side.
Eleri
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This poem Has the correct number of syllables per line for the contest and reads well. However, I was taught that when you rhyme a would ending in 'ing' it has to be the root of the word that rhymes not the 'ing' bit, ie charming rhymes with disarming but not with lighting. Therefore, the contest organisers may have problems with some of your rhymes. I would check it with them before the cut off date just to be on the safe side.
Eleri
Comment Written 17-Sep-2023
Comment from Frank Malley
It must be difficult to write within such a form as this author must use for a contest. Because they are common and ordinary, smiles are inadequately valued; unless they are patently phony, smiles lift the heart of whatever she or he beholds them.
Smiles a subtle things, often, and I could wish that this poem was less an exaltation of smiles and more a discussion of their varieties. Nonetheless, it's an excellent poem.
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It must be difficult to write within such a form as this author must use for a contest. Because they are common and ordinary, smiles are inadequately valued; unless they are patently phony, smiles lift the heart of whatever she or he beholds them.
Smiles a subtle things, often, and I could wish that this poem was less an exaltation of smiles and more a discussion of their varieties. Nonetheless, it's an excellent poem.
Comment Written 17-Sep-2023
