Red Skeletons
Viewing comments for Chapter 13 "Devil My Friend"Haunting Poetry for the Darkness in us all
7 total reviews
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Oh my goodness you sound like a temptress here bringing innocent souls to the Devil, I enjoyed your lighthearted write with a sinister meaning, love Dolly x x x
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2023
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Oh my goodness you sound like a temptress here bringing innocent souls to the Devil, I enjoyed your lighthearted write with a sinister meaning, love Dolly x x x
Comment Written 28-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2023
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Thank you.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Sometimes, family can leave you feeling like that, suffocated and full of self-loathing. You think the moments should be so precious and then invest too much of yourself into a situation that you wouldn't normally do for non-family. Your verse expresses so clearly and well the frustration and anger that can develop, I think. That devil is not defining you but part, maybe, of your strong sense of survival and need for independence. I may have this completely wrong so please know it is only my interpretation of your very thought-provoking free verse. A great entry! Good luck. Debbie
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2023
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Sometimes, family can leave you feeling like that, suffocated and full of self-loathing. You think the moments should be so precious and then invest too much of yourself into a situation that you wouldn't normally do for non-family. Your verse expresses so clearly and well the frustration and anger that can develop, I think. That devil is not defining you but part, maybe, of your strong sense of survival and need for independence. I may have this completely wrong so please know it is only my interpretation of your very thought-provoking free verse. A great entry! Good luck. Debbie
Comment Written 28-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2023
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Your interpretation is right on the nose. Family is difficult and you do things for them that you would not for others. I felt seen. Thank you.
Comment from ImaginosBuzzardoDesdinova
Its often hard to share our innermost pain with other people. Poetry is a wonderful way to do this and still have some privacy and dignity. Do not fear. You are not alone.
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2023
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Its often hard to share our innermost pain with other people. Poetry is a wonderful way to do this and still have some privacy and dignity. Do not fear. You are not alone.
Comment Written 28-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2023
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Thank you.
Comment from Eleri
This is a good dark idea for a free verse poem but as this is a free verse contest I don't know if they will accept rhyming or not - if I were you I would check that with the committee before the contest cut off date. Also, if you are going to include rhyming in a poem it pays to be consistent. For example, you have included rhymes in stanzas one, two and a near rhyme in stanza four but no where else. Starting off with a rhyme scheme and then abandoning it looks like you have made a mistake. In the last line of the third stanza it should also be 'away the angel flies...' or 'away the angels fly...' not 'away the angel fly'.
Good luck in the contest
Eleri
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2023
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This is a good dark idea for a free verse poem but as this is a free verse contest I don't know if they will accept rhyming or not - if I were you I would check that with the committee before the contest cut off date. Also, if you are going to include rhyming in a poem it pays to be consistent. For example, you have included rhymes in stanzas one, two and a near rhyme in stanza four but no where else. Starting off with a rhyme scheme and then abandoning it looks like you have made a mistake. In the last line of the third stanza it should also be 'away the angel flies...' or 'away the angels fly...' not 'away the angel fly'.
Good luck in the contest
Eleri
Comment Written 28-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2023
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The rhyming was not intentional but as it is free verse it didn't feel that it would matter. If it does then so be it. Thank you for thinking to say something though.
Comment from JSD
Your words are resonant and painful. I do like 'smeared on the pavement' very much. Your ninth line is a bit long though and do you mean 'angels'? If not, it should be 'flies'. Otherwise, some powerful and effective free verse here and I wish you all the best for the competition.
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2023
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Your words are resonant and painful. I do like 'smeared on the pavement' very much. Your ninth line is a bit long though and do you mean 'angels'? If not, it should be 'flies'. Otherwise, some powerful and effective free verse here and I wish you all the best for the competition.
Comment Written 28-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2023
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Thank you so much for the wonderful review and pointing out the error.
Comment from Isabel Fontes
His writing is powerful and fearless.
I appreciate how the poem takes us on a tumultuous journey, as fear drives the writing and carries it through life, eventually returning it to a place of guard.
Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2023
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His writing is powerful and fearless.
I appreciate how the poem takes us on a tumultuous journey, as fear drives the writing and carries it through life, eventually returning it to a place of guard.
Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 28-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2023
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Thank you.
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You are welcome, Mia.
Comment from Douglas Goff
Interesting author notes. Your strength seeps out of your writings. You seem fearless and dominant from your aggressive nature of writing which is once again revealed in this piece. Doubt much scares or rattles you.
Good piece. Never let anyone unbalance your inner core.
D
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2023
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Interesting author notes. Your strength seeps out of your writings. You seem fearless and dominant from your aggressive nature of writing which is once again revealed in this piece. Doubt much scares or rattles you.
Good piece. Never let anyone unbalance your inner core.
D
Comment Written 28-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2023
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Thank you for the wonderful words.
