Tales of our Times
Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "The Manor"Collection of short stories
11 total reviews
Comment from Sally Law
I love your period writing, mystery writer. It's a relief, actually, to what I find in these contests. A delightful, grand offering for the prompt without a nit to be found. I dearly wish for more!
Sending you my best today as always, and my very best wishes for the contest.
Sally :))
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2023
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I love your period writing, mystery writer. It's a relief, actually, to what I find in these contests. A delightful, grand offering for the prompt without a nit to be found. I dearly wish for more!
Sending you my best today as always, and my very best wishes for the contest.
Sally :))
Comment Written 29-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2023
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Superb review - a joy to read! zanya
Comment from karenina
An interesting read that held my attention throughout. You've managed to present the problem, and show the actions of each of the characters who would be affected by the sale of this mansion (with a bit of wit, no less!)--and left us with what appears to be the ultimate decision...
"'End of an era, Joe,' Harry said."
and
"Grandeur costs money.'"
and
"Time to move the dial forward.'"
I can't offer any suggestions for improvement.
Very nice entry!
Karenina
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An interesting read that held my attention throughout. You've managed to present the problem, and show the actions of each of the characters who would be affected by the sale of this mansion (with a bit of wit, no less!)--and left us with what appears to be the ultimate decision...
"'End of an era, Joe,' Harry said."
and
"Grandeur costs money.'"
and
"Time to move the dial forward.'"
I can't offer any suggestions for improvement.
Very nice entry!
Karenina
Comment Written 24-Aug-2023
Comment from Sanku
I suppose this would be the same fate to many such manors in UK. If they are entailed then they cannot be sold .I enjoyed this story very much especially the strong sentiments of Harry .all the best for the contest .It is very well written.
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I suppose this would be the same fate to many such manors in UK. If they are entailed then they cannot be sold .I enjoyed this story very much especially the strong sentiments of Harry .all the best for the contest .It is very well written.
Comment Written 24-Aug-2023
Comment from Alexandra Trovato
Creative! Love the dialogue! I truly enjoyed reading your work. It's an excellent presentation! You've used imagery and specific words that draw in a reader. I best enjoyed
Best wishes! Alexandra
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Creative! Love the dialogue! I truly enjoyed reading your work. It's an excellent presentation! You've used imagery and specific words that draw in a reader. I best enjoyed
Best wishes! Alexandra
Comment Written 23-Aug-2023
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
there's a nice tone to the place and the pacing is good but it feels a bit underdeveloped. I get it's a short word count but it's more of a vignette than a full story as such.
and heir, Squire Charles, having led a somewhat profligate life of idleness and hedonism was not disposed to take charge of the Manor. - ideally there'd be another comma and hedonism.
Lord Edward wondered If his bastard son - lower case 'i' for if.
sired beneath a tropical sky, might wish to come and reside in a foggy city of London. - with the picture you've used and the idea of running a Manor doesn't lend the idea of living in foggy London.
Chrissie, the cook was bewildered,- comma after cook.
Maggie, her young assistant was flustered, - comma after assistant.
'For Sale' sign is gone', - need opening speech marks here.
Joe, the newly -arrived gardener sprinted along the path - comma after gardiner.
All the best
GMG
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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Hi there,
there's a nice tone to the place and the pacing is good but it feels a bit underdeveloped. I get it's a short word count but it's more of a vignette than a full story as such.
and heir, Squire Charles, having led a somewhat profligate life of idleness and hedonism was not disposed to take charge of the Manor. - ideally there'd be another comma and hedonism.
Lord Edward wondered If his bastard son - lower case 'i' for if.
sired beneath a tropical sky, might wish to come and reside in a foggy city of London. - with the picture you've used and the idea of running a Manor doesn't lend the idea of living in foggy London.
Chrissie, the cook was bewildered,- comma after cook.
Maggie, her young assistant was flustered, - comma after assistant.
'For Sale' sign is gone', - need opening speech marks here.
Joe, the newly -arrived gardener sprinted along the path - comma after gardiner.
All the best
GMG
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-Aug-2023
Comment from royowen
Heh heh, a. very complex post, one has to keep one's mind in gear, lst one is accidentally bereft. The fears that must have bitten deep into the servants who would find it difficult to find work, and the decision to work out who the heir was, all culminating into a great post, well done, good luck, blessings Roy
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Heh heh, a. very complex post, one has to keep one's mind in gear, lst one is accidentally bereft. The fears that must have bitten deep into the servants who would find it difficult to find work, and the decision to work out who the heir was, all culminating into a great post, well done, good luck, blessings Roy
Comment Written 22-Aug-2023
Comment from prettybluebirds
You have done a wonderful job with the writing prompt. Your writing is clear, and the dialogue carries the story to an excellent ending. I wish you worlds of luck in the contest.
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You have done a wonderful job with the writing prompt. Your writing is clear, and the dialogue carries the story to an excellent ending. I wish you worlds of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2023
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
A beautifully written story in-keeping with the period in which the theme seems to be - the end of an era - as the house is sold and all the characters (so well portrayed with assiduous attention to detail) come to terms with this new event in their history. No errors noted or need for change. Well done and good luck! Debbie
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A beautifully written story in-keeping with the period in which the theme seems to be - the end of an era - as the house is sold and all the characters (so well portrayed with assiduous attention to detail) come to terms with this new event in their history. No errors noted or need for change. Well done and good luck! Debbie
Comment Written 21-Aug-2023
Comment from Douglas Goff
Intriguing story. I had to look up several words that I did not know.
Seems to me there is more intriguing story here:
Marquis Lancelot, sired beneath a tropical sky,
This is a different angle for flash. Let us see how it goes.
Great writing!
D
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Intriguing story. I had to look up several words that I did not know.
Seems to me there is more intriguing story here:
Marquis Lancelot, sired beneath a tropical sky,
This is a different angle for flash. Let us see how it goes.
Great writing!
D
Comment Written 21-Aug-2023
Comment from jim vecchio
This was an excellent entry in this contest. I was going to enter. Now, if I do, yours will be the one to measure up to. I liked the way this was done as sort of a "slice of life". I usually force beginnings and endings.
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This was an excellent entry in this contest. I was going to enter. Now, if I do, yours will be the one to measure up to. I liked the way this was done as sort of a "slice of life". I usually force beginnings and endings.
Comment Written 21-Aug-2023
