Reviews from

Four Horse Island

Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Horse Number Two"
Marooned on an island with 4 horses and a goat

30 total reviews 
Comment from Liz O'Neill
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

You are giving the reader a pleasant vicarious sensory experience. It as the reader is walking beside you. I love this juxtaposition: "The floor dropped two inches. My stomach did the same." I have to read horse one next.

 Comment Written 31-Aug-2023


reply by the author on 02-Sep-2023
    Hi Liz O'Neill,
    I am so happy you are enjoying the story and love how you find something specific to point out in each chapter. Thank you again for going back to read previous chapters.
    Have a wonderful weekend.
    Debi
reply by Liz O'Neill on 02-Sep-2023
    my pleasure
Comment from Faith Williams
Excellent
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I knew they couldn't all be as easy as Apollo. Ava is a brave woman to be alone in an elevator with such a horse. Excellent writing, Debi, with strong verbs and great descriptions. I look forward to the next chapter.

 Comment Written 19-Aug-2023


reply by the author on 20-Aug-2023
    Hi Faith,
    Thank you for the detailed review and your thoughts about the characters. I appreciate the encouragement that you'd like to read more. Have a great day.
    Debi
Comment from Mintybee
Excellent
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I enjoyed this chapter. It's the first chapter of this story I've read, so I'm unfamiliar with the main character, but I found her likeable. I thought the amount of detail helpful, especially coming into the story mid-way. I though the pacing was good. I didn't notice any errors.
Mintybee

 Comment Written 19-Aug-2023


reply by the author on 20-Aug-2023
    Hi Mintybee,
    Thank you for jumping in to read this chapter. I appreciate the kind comments about the writing.
    Have a great day.
    Debi
Comment from CrystieCookie999
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This late in the week, I don't have a six star rating left. But it is a great read here! And I appreciate the author notes. I was just thinking about redoing the bedroom with all horse books and stories except for two other book series left on the shelves.
Only the teensiest of suggestions:
Twice during our short trek, he let out loud sustained neighs
I would put a comma after loud

Here is a line that makes me think you really do work with horses:
The struggle with Titan was going to leave me sore tomorrow.

 Comment Written 18-Aug-2023


reply by the author on 19-Aug-2023
    Hi CrystieCookie999,
    Thank you for the encouraging comments. I'm glad you enjoyed the story. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on decorating the bedroom with a horse theme. I know I'd love it.
    I made the change you suggested. Thank you for helping me improve.
    I do have horses and I spent a couple of summers working on a horse breeding farm as the trainer when I was in college, so I've had a few sore muscles due to those powerful animals. All worth it though. Thanks for stopping by to read and review and the virtual six. I appreciate it.
    Debi
    Debi
Comment from rspoet
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hello Debi,
Another excellent chapter in the story. It's a good question as to whether they understand English, but they do seem to response to the words, or perhaps it's the gentle voice and soothing touch.
Titan sounds much better than horse number 2. :) Titan and Apollo, maybe Athena is next.
Once again, wonderful description.
Well done.
Best wishes.
Robert

 Comment Written 18-Aug-2023


reply by the author on 19-Aug-2023
    Hi Robert,
    Thank you for the six stars, especially so late in the week. Yes, who knows what they understand, but they do understand tone and body language. They can smell fear so it is unwise to be nervous around them.
    Thank you for the kind comments about the writing and the best wishes.
    Have a great weekend.
    Debi
Comment from Pam (respa)
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Good artwork and story to go with it, Debi. The notes are appreciated, too. The story flows well as you share what goes on in trying to maneuver a horse onto an elevator. Great use of descriptive detail, as well.

I think Ava gave Titan the right name. He was full of energy and ready to pounce, and actually did as he landed in the elevator. I will be glad when there is no more elevator! Then Titan bolts out of it, leaving Ava behind. I had forgotten that no one is there by them, and the horses can run. It will be interesting to see how all of this develops and how one woman is going to manage 4 horses at once, along with a goat.

I'm glad there were enough snacks stored up for her, too. Well done, my friend.

 Comment Written 18-Aug-2023


reply by the author on 19-Aug-2023
    Hi Pam,
    Thank you for the wonderful comments about the writing and your thoughts about Ava and Titan. I appreciate the six stars, especially so late in the week.
    Yes, being alone means she has no help with these creatures. Not crazy about elevators myself. I hope I never really have to be in an elevator with one of them.
    Have a wonderful weekend.
    Debi
reply by Pam (respa) on 20-Aug-2023
    You are very welcome and deserving of the stars and review, Debi. I wouldn't want to be in a elevator with them, either. Have a great day and week ahead.
Comment from Alexandra Trovato
Excellent
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You offer more of the interesting story we have been following and it did not disappoint. The imagery words throughout are well chosen and placed thoughtfully, with a reader in mind or do it seems. Best wishes!

 Comment Written 18-Aug-2023


reply by the author on 18-Aug-2023
    Hi Alexandra Trovato,
    Thank you for the kind comments about the writing. I appreciate the encouragement.
    Debi
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Excellent
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I loved the strong chosen names for the horses in this story Debi and your expert knowledge of horses brought this tale to life, a pleasure to read, love Dolly x x x

 Comment Written 18-Aug-2023


reply by the author on 18-Aug-2023
    Hi Dolly,
    Thank you for the kind comments about the writing and the names of the horses. I appreciate you following the story.
    Debi
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Excellent
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I am enjoying your story and need to go find the first chapter. What is its name? Leading those horses out of the ship is obviously a challenge, but she just as obviously isn't going to give up. I know horses and it is a lot harder than she is admitting.

 Comment Written 17-Aug-2023


reply by the author on 17-Aug-2023
    Hi Carol Hillebrenner,
    Thank you for the encouraging review. How sweet to want to read the first chapter. It is called "Claustrophobia".
    You are correct about it being harder than its sounds. I'm trying to keep the chapters to 900 words or less so I'm leaving out a lot of details that I would normally put in. It's nice to hear from another horse person who gets it.
    Debi
Comment from Sally Law
Excellent
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I felt it coming although I wish you hadn't fallen. So glad you're okay! This one had a lot of buildup to the fall. Your attitude is amazing, Horse Whisperer.

Sending you my best today as always, and blessings for the book.
Sal XOs

 Comment Written 17-Aug-2023


reply by the author on 17-Aug-2023
    Hi Sal, Thank you for your encouraging review.
    When I was growing up they called it 'gentling' a horse which was a different method than 'breaking' a horse. After the movie, 'horse whispering' replaced the term, but I like it. Thank you!
    Debi