Ancient Art of Poetry
Viewing comments for Chapter 30 "The Grass is Greener"A compilation of poems
5 total reviews
Comment from Isabel Fontes
I am not impressed by opulent and fluorescent cars, but the poem pleased me.
It depicts the reality of two masks; one that has and the other that desires to have.
The poem has a good synergy of words and flows well.
I thoroughly enjoyed reading it.
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2023
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I am not impressed by opulent and fluorescent cars, but the poem pleased me.
It depicts the reality of two masks; one that has and the other that desires to have.
The poem has a good synergy of words and flows well.
I thoroughly enjoyed reading it.
Comment Written 06-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2023
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Thank you again I am humbled and honored by your words and the kind review!
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You are most welcome :-)
Comment from Rachelle Allen
Slick font, slick car to get your readers' attention...but then you wow us with Old Fashioned wisdom! You are clever and talented, for sure! What a great offering for the Temptation contest. I bet you will be a big-time hit in the polls! Good luck!
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2023
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Slick font, slick car to get your readers' attention...but then you wow us with Old Fashioned wisdom! You are clever and talented, for sure! What a great offering for the Temptation contest. I bet you will be a big-time hit in the polls! Good luck!
Comment Written 06-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2023
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Wow, you honor me again, Rachelle, I'm so pleased to receive your review! Thank you again, i am truly humbled! I am very much appreciating it!
Your insight is amazing, too. By the way, just thought i'd tell you.
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xoxox
Comment from Paul Manton
Good morning, Lea. It's 08.25 BST in London, so you are my second review of the day. I enjoyed your 'rant against the rich' - or, more correctly, the ones trying to tempt the rich to spend unwisely.
First off, if I could afford that Ferrari, I wouldn't be on line today - I'd be in Monte Carlo - so I am not a good example, and haven't yet taken your good advice either!
Four quatrains, rhyming couplets, four beats to the line. I am going to suggest three 'fixes' - two essential - just typos, then a third to consider.
Somehow, the first and second lines of verse two have run together - so a formatting problem, easily fixed, at 'sounds'. Secondly, 'dissolves' needs an extra 's'.
And my third is really a question: verse three first line - I felt that maybe 'rings' wasn't what you had in mind - perhaps the generic 'things' instead. But then you need a version of 'thing/s' to complete the sense of that couplet. So I spent a while trying different combinations of ideas. The word 'bling' sounded useful - so I offer for your consideration:
'Beware the shiny pretty bling/That takes your home and everything' or maybe 'That takes away just everything'. But you might think of something much better - or prefer the original.
Have a great Sunday.
Paul
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2023
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Good morning, Lea. It's 08.25 BST in London, so you are my second review of the day. I enjoyed your 'rant against the rich' - or, more correctly, the ones trying to tempt the rich to spend unwisely.
First off, if I could afford that Ferrari, I wouldn't be on line today - I'd be in Monte Carlo - so I am not a good example, and haven't yet taken your good advice either!
Four quatrains, rhyming couplets, four beats to the line. I am going to suggest three 'fixes' - two essential - just typos, then a third to consider.
Somehow, the first and second lines of verse two have run together - so a formatting problem, easily fixed, at 'sounds'. Secondly, 'dissolves' needs an extra 's'.
And my third is really a question: verse three first line - I felt that maybe 'rings' wasn't what you had in mind - perhaps the generic 'things' instead. But then you need a version of 'thing/s' to complete the sense of that couplet. So I spent a while trying different combinations of ideas. The word 'bling' sounded useful - so I offer for your consideration:
'Beware the shiny pretty bling/That takes your home and everything' or maybe 'That takes away just everything'. But you might think of something much better - or prefer the original.
Have a great Sunday.
Paul
Comment Written 06-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2023
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Hey, Paul, thank you so much for your kind review and detailed answer. I have taken your suggestions and made the changes if you wish to peak. Thanks again for stopping by wonder if you had a look at the one called "Troy" you might find it interesting. Thank you very much again, hope your day is amazing!
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And yours, Lea.
Love from Paul
Comment from Lisasview
Good morning Lea,
Nice poem of yours to wake up to this morning here in Spain....
I wonder whatever happened to the poem of yours that I edited? Did you work on it?
The only thing about this one is that the font you used is quite difficult to read.
Lisa
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2023
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Good morning Lea,
Nice poem of yours to wake up to this morning here in Spain....
I wonder whatever happened to the poem of yours that I edited? Did you work on it?
The only thing about this one is that the font you used is quite difficult to read.
Lisa
Comment Written 06-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2023
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Hello there, Lisa in Spain. I think something's funky going on here I don't know. I put out a few poems since I chatted with you last. I put out "the mountain is she" and "Troy" Don't know. I was without a phone for a couple of weeks. It could happen However, having said that, I thank you very much for your review. As always, I'm happy to hear from you. I hope it's beautiful day in Spain It's a beautiful country Lord knows I'll talk to you again.
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I think I have reviewed everything you posted in the past week or so...
But, I am still wondering about the edits i made on a poem of yours a couple of days ago... I think you said you got my message and would do it???
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No I actually haven't received anything for a couple of weeks because my phone was gone. I'll look for a chief I can find anything I'll get back to you shortly
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okay
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Is one more called eclipse . It's o k, you don't have to go back. a few things are going on In the system while I was away for those couple weeks. Yes, because you're not the only one I seem to be missing others as well. I'm glad to see you're doing well and writing with your usual applomb, and special talent.
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The poem I am taking about is called Who's Boss... I re reviewed it so you can see it now.
Lisa
Comment from Alexandra Trovato
This is an excellent poem for the temptation poetry contest. I'm not sure when it closes or has closed already, but I hope I get to see it in a voting booth. Your poem reminded me of so many people I've known. Best wishes!
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2023
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This is an excellent poem for the temptation poetry contest. I'm not sure when it closes or has closed already, but I hope I get to see it in a voting booth. Your poem reminded me of so many people I've known. Best wishes!
Comment Written 05-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2023
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Thank you that's kind of you to say, I appreciate that! Also appreciate you stopping in for another read. It's nice to see your name come up. I always appreciate your reviews and your comments. Have a great night!
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Thank you, Lea! That means a lot to me!
