Wasted
A lune is - 5/3/59 total reviews
Comment from Ginda Simpson
Yes, there is much sadness and loss due to various addictions that claim their victims. But you have written a beautiful Lune poem on this subject and well-deserving of the win. Congratulations.
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2023
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Yes, there is much sadness and loss due to various addictions that claim their victims. But you have written a beautiful Lune poem on this subject and well-deserving of the win. Congratulations.
Comment Written 18-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2023
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Thank you so much for this lovely review, and for the congrats.
Comment from dragonpoet
Hi Val,
This poem depicts how scary addiction it. It can be an obsession that leads to death too often. The young girl in the artwork is scary. Just like addiction.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Congrats on placing second in the contest.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Have a great day.
Joan
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2023
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Hi Val,
This poem depicts how scary addiction it. It can be an obsession that leads to death too often. The young girl in the artwork is scary. Just like addiction.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Congrats on placing second in the contest.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Have a great day.
Joan
Comment Written 17-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2023
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Thank you, Joan, for all of your kind words
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Don?t mention it, Val.
Joan
Comment from Janet Foor
A powerful message and artwork in your Lune poem Val. Addiction destroys anyone or anything in its path. Your words are sobering as well as the picture. A perfect match for the sad situation you described. The cold death knell rings is certainly a sobering phrase.
I'm not on FS very often theses days. We are still struggling with my husbands health. Tomorrow we see our infectious disease specialist and hopefully he has some answers to remedy the problems.
Hopefully you are having a great Sunday morning.
Blessings
Janet
Your
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2023
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A powerful message and artwork in your Lune poem Val. Addiction destroys anyone or anything in its path. Your words are sobering as well as the picture. A perfect match for the sad situation you described. The cold death knell rings is certainly a sobering phrase.
I'm not on FS very often theses days. We are still struggling with my husbands health. Tomorrow we see our infectious disease specialist and hopefully he has some answers to remedy the problems.
Hopefully you are having a great Sunday morning.
Blessings
Janet
Your
Comment Written 06-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2023
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Bless your heart for even reviewing this lune, with everything you have going on. As always, your support and wisdom is valued. I just said a little prayer for your husband. Hugs Dear One
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
How very sad these words are Val as addiction ensures an early death for those who partake in this activity and what a wasted life it is, a fine Lune for the contest, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2023
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How very sad these words are Val as addiction ensures an early death for those who partake in this activity and what a wasted life it is, a fine Lune for the contest, love Dolly x
Comment Written 03-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2023
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Thank you, Dolly. Addiction is a universal curse.
Comment from Eleri
This is a very emotive and powerful short poem. I am amazed that you could get so much power into so few words - well done. You have met the requirements of the Lune Poetry contest syllable-wise and I hope that you will do well with this poem
Eleri
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2023
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This is a very emotive and powerful short poem. I am amazed that you could get so much power into so few words - well done. You have met the requirements of the Lune Poetry contest syllable-wise and I hope that you will do well with this poem
Eleri
Comment Written 03-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2023
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Thank you so much for this very supportive review.
Comment from Sally Law
Powerful and moving lune poem, Val. A winner here I suspect in suoer short verse poetry. Sending you my best today as always, and my very best wishes for the upcoming contest.
Sally Law
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2023
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Powerful and moving lune poem, Val. A winner here I suspect in suoer short verse poetry. Sending you my best today as always, and my very best wishes for the upcoming contest.
Sally Law
Comment Written 03-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2023
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Thank you so much for the lovely review.
Comment from Paul Manton
Hello Val, just read your dramatic lune poem.
First off, a simple change to make: the 'lune' poem takes its name from the crescent moon, so the formatting should be right or left, but not central (to get a rough arc shape).
The 5-3-5 count is right, and the content is sobering for a lune poem - but it works well. Drug addition is indeed one of the highest morbidity problems worldwide. I used to take funerals regularly. In those days (the late 70s) the cannabis people smoked was not strong, and heroin use was still relatively uncommon. So I didn't knowingly take a funeral for a user.
Now, I think, it would be much more likely.
And while a fatal overdose destroys the user, it damages the 'souls' of all the families and friends around him/her. As you suggest in your poem, each life lost to drugs is an appalling tragedy.
A sobering and timely warning. Thank you.
Paul
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2023
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Hello Val, just read your dramatic lune poem.
First off, a simple change to make: the 'lune' poem takes its name from the crescent moon, so the formatting should be right or left, but not central (to get a rough arc shape).
The 5-3-5 count is right, and the content is sobering for a lune poem - but it works well. Drug addition is indeed one of the highest morbidity problems worldwide. I used to take funerals regularly. In those days (the late 70s) the cannabis people smoked was not strong, and heroin use was still relatively uncommon. So I didn't knowingly take a funeral for a user.
Now, I think, it would be much more likely.
And while a fatal overdose destroys the user, it damages the 'souls' of all the families and friends around him/her. As you suggest in your poem, each life lost to drugs is an appalling tragedy.
A sobering and timely warning. Thank you.
Paul
Comment Written 03-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2023
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Wow, what an amazing review!!! I am so glad you thought well of my little lune. I gave your suggestion some thought, but I believe centering makes it more dramatic which I am after. Nonetheless, I am sure you are correct. I am humbled and impressed, that you gave this entry so much of your time.
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Not at all - but the convention is to format it left or right, to get the crescent effect - and I must say that it will affect the way it is judged in the competition - so my best advice is to make it a crescent until the judging - then recenter it for your satisfaction afterwards.
Paul
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Thank you
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welcome. good luck with it.
Paul
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Okay, I changed it but I don't see the arc you speak of. I may change it back after a day
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If I give an example
it would look
just like this writing
It is only a long, a short , a long line. The person who invented the Lune poem set out the rules. Please don't blame the poor old reviewer.
Paul
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So you approve of my change is all I am asking. Don't worry I don't own any guns lol
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Yes. Just looked. Now a bona-fide Lune!
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Amen
Comment from Debra White
Hello Val,
This is such a powerful and striking presentation.
The tolling of the bell before the word addiction, is almost an announcement... and then the detail of another life lost.
The text, tiny and white within the vastness of the black background, to me, symbolises the impact of addiction.
The picture of ravaged youth is the perfect choice.
I hope you do well in the contest.
Best wishes as always, Debra x
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2023
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Hello Val,
This is such a powerful and striking presentation.
The tolling of the bell before the word addiction, is almost an announcement... and then the detail of another life lost.
The text, tiny and white within the vastness of the black background, to me, symbolises the impact of addiction.
The picture of ravaged youth is the perfect choice.
I hope you do well in the contest.
Best wishes as always, Debra x
Comment Written 03-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2023
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Debra, you've made my day. I am so thankful you took the time and energy to be so supportive. I am extremely humbled and thankful. Also, you "member money" supportive was so kind. Yes, addiction is a universal curse as is mental illness. I wish there was a simple answer. Hugs my Friend.
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Hugs right back :) Take care x
Comment from kahpot
Excellent, so very well written, though if I may, in your short introduction before the title it reads "five/seven/five poem, should this be
(five/three/five poem, best wishes for your contest****kahpot
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2023
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Excellent, so very well written, though if I may, in your short introduction before the title it reads "five/seven/five poem, should this be
(five/three/five poem, best wishes for your contest****kahpot
Comment Written 02-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2023
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Thank you, yes this is a lune. Will fix.
