The Laundromat
If Laundromats could tell their stories12 total reviews
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Great vivid descriptions here of this girl sprinkling ash all over her freshly laundered clothes and dropping her intimate garments on the dirty floor. Her earplugs and her rhinestone flip flops on, you wonder about her life and who she lives with. This deserves six stars and I hope you WIN the contest, a magical snippet of life here Ginda, very clever and well presented, an entertaining read, love Dolly x
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reply by the author on 29-Jul-2023
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Great vivid descriptions here of this girl sprinkling ash all over her freshly laundered clothes and dropping her intimate garments on the dirty floor. Her earplugs and her rhinestone flip flops on, you wonder about her life and who she lives with. This deserves six stars and I hope you WIN the contest, a magical snippet of life here Ginda, very clever and well presented, an entertaining read, love Dolly x
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 27-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2023
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Thank you, Dolly. It was a challenge to capture this slice of life in 100 words.
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You did a wonderful job and I reckon this will will the contest x
Comment from Paul Manton
Well, outstanding writing, but I wish I had some antecedents here - but maybe you wrote them into the text?
Standard downtown laundromat - they look the same all over the world - 'garish yellow puddles' - nice; 'lasso what is left of her youth' - equally.
She is, as we say in England, 'Mutton dressed as lamb!' - a girl of 40 going on 17.
She has what sounds like an abusive relationship with 'Earl' - things are so bad (if she's not wearing phones) that booze and/or drugs have now taken away most of her ability to recognize what's real and what isn't - only she hears the 'jukebox music'. It's not really there. And neither is she.
The tear disappears - but she had disappeared long since.
A very sad case. Can you help her?
Paul
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reply by the author on 29-Jul-2023
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Well, outstanding writing, but I wish I had some antecedents here - but maybe you wrote them into the text?
Standard downtown laundromat - they look the same all over the world - 'garish yellow puddles' - nice; 'lasso what is left of her youth' - equally.
She is, as we say in England, 'Mutton dressed as lamb!' - a girl of 40 going on 17.
She has what sounds like an abusive relationship with 'Earl' - things are so bad (if she's not wearing phones) that booze and/or drugs have now taken away most of her ability to recognize what's real and what isn't - only she hears the 'jukebox music'. It's not really there. And neither is she.
The tear disappears - but she had disappeared long since.
A very sad case. Can you help her?
Paul
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 27-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2023
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Thank you, Paul, for reading and comments. I appreciate your feedback.
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Welcome, Ginda.
