Halmeoni
100 word contest prompt16 total reviews
Comment from Eleri
I am always amazed that anyone can tell any sort of story in just 100 words but you appear to have done it here. I think, however, that you have used a lot of words on description when you could have used them to take the story a bit further. Also, you have changed the tense after the first line here, ie surely it should be 'she clutches her purse while being lovingly manhandled...'
Good luck in the competition
Eleri
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2023
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I am always amazed that anyone can tell any sort of story in just 100 words but you appear to have done it here. I think, however, that you have used a lot of words on description when you could have used them to take the story a bit further. Also, you have changed the tense after the first line here, ie surely it should be 'she clutches her purse while being lovingly manhandled...'
Good luck in the competition
Eleri
Comment Written 29-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2023
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Eleri,
I very much appreciate the tense errors. I?m always looking to improve.
Thank you for reading and sharing..,
John
Comment from Alexandra Trovato
I can feel and imagine the whole scene. Greeks have Yiayias but they also get treats from their purses when the children are near. Grandmothers in any culture have a direct language with grandchildren and you have describe yours beautiful and with wonderful imagery and detail. The photo and entire presentation are beautiful! Excellent writing! Best wishes!
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2023
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I can feel and imagine the whole scene. Greeks have Yiayias but they also get treats from their purses when the children are near. Grandmothers in any culture have a direct language with grandchildren and you have describe yours beautiful and with wonderful imagery and detail. The photo and entire presentation are beautiful! Excellent writing! Best wishes!
Comment Written 28-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2023
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Ooh I like that, Yiayias.
Thank you for the great review! I always appreciate it.
John
Comment from lyenochka
WOW! I didn't know you knew Korean! I just happened to check out the front page and saw Korean and it's by YOU! Of course, you have to mention food - that's what all good halmuni types provide. Congratulations on your second place finish! Virtual six! Too bad it was anonymous as I didn't find out until now.
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2023
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WOW! I didn't know you knew Korean! I just happened to check out the front page and saw Korean and it's by YOU! Of course, you have to mention food - that's what all good halmuni types provide. Congratulations on your second place finish! Virtual six! Too bad it was anonymous as I didn't find out until now.
Comment Written 28-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2023
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I looked up grandmother in multiple tongues. I thought you would get a kick from this one,
Thank you so much for reading and commenting.
John
Comment from Andrea Kepple
It's a sweet ending to the story. I like how everything you describe at the beginning gets turned on its head at the end when she is left alone with the children.
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2023
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It's a sweet ending to the story. I like how everything you describe at the beginning gets turned on its head at the end when she is left alone with the children.
Comment Written 27-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2023
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Thank you for reading.
Comment from w.j.debi
Ah, this is such a precious moment for both Halmeoni and the children. Adults want to protect her, but the children just want to love her. I vote for the second situation. She will appreciate it so much.
Best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2023
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Ah, this is such a precious moment for both Halmeoni and the children. Adults want to protect her, but the children just want to love her. I vote for the second situation. She will appreciate it so much.
Best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 27-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2023
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Thank you for reading and those well wishes?
Comment from Lola G
The keen powers of observation of the old grandmother set a scene. The details of how the family visit plays out is deceptively simple. I was amazed this is only 100 words. Every word the perfect brick to a solid story.
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2023
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The keen powers of observation of the old grandmother set a scene. The details of how the family visit plays out is deceptively simple. I was amazed this is only 100 words. Every word the perfect brick to a solid story.
Comment Written 27-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2023
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Lola G.
Six star review! I?m so honored. Thank you?
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Excellent entry for the Word Dash writing prompt contest.
It's so adorable.
Your short story is engaging and easy to follow.
Good word count.
Gypsy
"Poetry heals the wounds inflicted by reason" -- Novalis
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2023
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Excellent entry for the Word Dash writing prompt contest.
It's so adorable.
Your short story is engaging and easy to follow.
Good word count.
Gypsy
"Poetry heals the wounds inflicted by reason" -- Novalis
Comment Written 27-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2023
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Gypsy.
Thank you so much for reading. I'm glad you enjoyed this one.
Comment from Mario PIERRE
This is a very sweet and beautiful story. The perfect grandmother impatient to spoil her grandkids. You write in a masterful and pleasing style.
Wish you luck in this contest!!!
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2023
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This is a very sweet and beautiful story. The perfect grandmother impatient to spoil her grandkids. You write in a masterful and pleasing style.
Wish you luck in this contest!!!
Comment Written 27-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2023
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Thank you, Mario.
Comment from Cindy Decker 2
Author,
Your sweet story about this grandmother makes the reader think of their own grandmothers, and the love they would shower on their grandchildren.
You made me realize that how a grandmother shows affection to their young charges may differ from place to place, but they always give the same loving feeling.
Good luck in the contest!
Blessings,
Cindy
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2023
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Author,
Your sweet story about this grandmother makes the reader think of their own grandmothers, and the love they would shower on their grandchildren.
You made me realize that how a grandmother shows affection to their young charges may differ from place to place, but they always give the same loving feeling.
Good luck in the contest!
Blessings,
Cindy
Comment Written 27-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2023
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Thank you, Cindy for that awesome review.
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Very nice story. Good work.
I like 'lovingly manhandled', as if there is no delicate way to place Great grandma in a chair other than to horse her onto it, unceremoniously dumping her.
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2023
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Very nice story. Good work.
I like 'lovingly manhandled', as if there is no delicate way to place Great grandma in a chair other than to horse her onto it, unceremoniously dumping her.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 27-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2023
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Thank you, Wayne.
