Last Sleep
A homeless man that has found a home32 total reviews
Comment from jenintorre
Avery well written but very sad story in a poem. This situation is far too common in our society. So much more should be done for the homeless. Take care. Jen
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Avery well written but very sad story in a poem. This situation is far too common in our society. So much more should be done for the homeless. Take care. Jen
Comment Written 15-Jul-2023
Comment from jmdg1954
It certainly is a sad situation they find themselves in. What could they have done (within legal limits) that they would all turn their backs?
All in all, the person for whom this poem was written is in a much better place.
Nicely penned and presented.
John
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It certainly is a sad situation they find themselves in. What could they have done (within legal limits) that they would all turn their backs?
All in all, the person for whom this poem was written is in a much better place.
Nicely penned and presented.
John
Comment Written 15-Jul-2023
Comment from Raul1
This is an interesting story and how you have slept walking all through the day. It's beautifully written. Excellent work! No mistakes found. Thank you for sharing!
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This is an interesting story and how you have slept walking all through the day. It's beautifully written. Excellent work! No mistakes found. Thank you for sharing!
Comment Written 15-Jul-2023
Comment from Terry Broxson
Jacquelyn, you have written a very sad story that is repeated often in the land of plenty. I thought the third stanza was very insightful. The first line of defense against the homeless does seem to be the family. It doesn't always work, but it does seem that is where it starts. Excellent work. Terry.
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Jacquelyn, you have written a very sad story that is repeated often in the land of plenty. I thought the third stanza was very insightful. The first line of defense against the homeless does seem to be the family. It doesn't always work, but it does seem that is where it starts. Excellent work. Terry.
Comment Written 15-Jul-2023
Comment from JT traveller
This tugs at the emotional heartstrings. Very well written, almost as if you have first hand experience or empathy with those unfortunate enough to find themselves homeless. Well done. JT
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This tugs at the emotional heartstrings. Very well written, almost as if you have first hand experience or empathy with those unfortunate enough to find themselves homeless. Well done. JT
Comment Written 15-Jul-2023
Comment from Goodadvicechan
This is a "good write." You really put the feelings of a homeless person in this story.
I wish our government can do something more to find jobs for them or have enough shelters. At least they can have a good sleep.
Thank you for sharing.
PS:there may be an extra word"the" in the following sentence. ( If the the shelter isn't full, then...)
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This is a "good write." You really put the feelings of a homeless person in this story.
I wish our government can do something more to find jobs for them or have enough shelters. At least they can have a good sleep.
Thank you for sharing.
PS:there may be an extra word"the" in the following sentence. ( If the the shelter isn't full, then...)
Comment Written 14-Jul-2023
Comment from Loretta Bigg
Wow that's nice and the ending is quite poignant. I wonder if you wouldn't want to replace last sleep with longest sleep. That is what I am hearing, but if you don't, dont worry about it, it's very good.
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Wow that's nice and the ending is quite poignant. I wonder if you wouldn't want to replace last sleep with longest sleep. That is what I am hearing, but if you don't, dont worry about it, it's very good.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2023
Comment from kahpot
Second line-second stanza "if the the shelter..." may need correcting, an excellent read and message, there are way too many homeless people, and we all need to do more for them and their situation, very well said, best wishes for your contest****kahpot
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Second line-second stanza "if the the shelter..." may need correcting, an excellent read and message, there are way too many homeless people, and we all need to do more for them and their situation, very well said, best wishes for your contest****kahpot
Comment Written 12-Jul-2023
Comment from Victoria Schimbatori
"An incredibly profound and captivating poem! The depth of emotions it evokes is truly remarkable. I was moved to the core and had goosebumps throughout. Wish you good luck!
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"An incredibly profound and captivating poem! The depth of emotions it evokes is truly remarkable. I was moved to the core and had goosebumps throughout. Wish you good luck!
Comment Written 12-Jul-2023
Comment from mermaids
Your words give the homeless a much needed voice. Your vivid use of words captures the feel and struggle of having no home. The reader feels for the man you describe in your words. Excellent use of rhyming words.
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2023
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Your words give the homeless a much needed voice. Your vivid use of words captures the feel and struggle of having no home. The reader feels for the man you describe in your words. Excellent use of rhyming words.
Comment Written 09-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2023
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Thank you for the wonderful review and the stars rating. Thank you for reading my poem, and for the positive encouraging comment.
