Reviews from

Guided by Faith

Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "Faith Chapter 12"
Can faith guide our path?

33 total reviews 
Comment from lyenochka
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Poor Emma! Can't believe that Peggy enlisted the librarian to attack Emma's reading program. I was thinking how well you know young kids and their need to do activities as they listen.
I guess there may be more than one antagonist in this book! Or is Peggy related to the Crown Victoria driver? We won't know until later...

Minor spacing issue - a blank line needed before:
"I don't have feelings for Emma other than friendship."

 Comment Written 19-Jun-2023


reply by the author on 19-Jun-2023
    Thank you for the catch and I added that space. I appreciate the help.
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
Excellent
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I'd like to find that little place in this world where fruit is delivered because you're nice, coffee is constantly being refilled, and dancing is not frowned upon in the restaurant where you eat:-)

New wish list for this book: Peggy gets a swift kick in the behind, lol!

Nicely told chapter, Barbara. Good pace and good dialogue, as always.

See you next weekend.

Pam

 Comment Written 19-Jun-2023


reply by the author on 19-Jun-2023
    Peggy will eventually get what's coming to her. LOL Thank you for the kind review. When my youngest son was in elementary school, we belonged to a small church in South Carolina. A little old lady used to make him red velvet cakes and bring them to church because they were his favorite. It was a stinking two layer cake. LOL
    There are places like that, just rare.
Comment from Jim Wile
Excellent
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That Peggy is shameless in her attempts to get Emma out of the way, even enlisting the help of the clueless librarian. I think Seth is going to have to tell her in no uncertain terms to bug off.

And poor Seth isn't fooling anyone about his interest in Emma, though he tries to fool himself. What is going to finally make him realize he loves her? You're keeping this bit of suspense going nicely, as well as the mystery of that fellow lurking in the background in the Crown Vic. Jim

 Comment Written 19-Jun-2023


reply by the author on 19-Jun-2023
    Thank you for the kind review. Seth is in such denial, but will soon realize it and it will hit him like a load of bricks.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Excellent
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Another good chapter with Becky stirring the pot still more in her quest to get Seth to herself. Emma's reaction is understandable, not only aggrieved by the threat to the reading programme but also questioning Seth's part in this and his apparently rather passive response. Your prose reads well as ever, Barbara and there are no noticeable errors. Thanks for sharing. Debbie

 Comment Written 19-Jun-2023


reply by the author on 19-Jun-2023
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Sanku
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

It was fun watching the video.
Emma is troubled that her ambition of reading practice for the children has met with a road block. peggy barton's jealousy is showing...

 Comment Written 19-Jun-2023


reply by the author on 19-Jun-2023
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Sankey
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Still great reading. I guess we will find out about the Crown car, soon.
Typical small town gossip and interfering. Suggestion ahead...We all do(,) sometimes."
What about these?
Emma picked it (up).

Wondered about the following...discussed even though they all look different[ly??]

Suggested change and avoiding a double up as well...If you [woul](ha)dn't have been there,

A couple (of??)nights ago,

In Author notes....Will (she)be able to keep her summer reading program?


 Comment Written 19-Jun-2023


reply by the author on 19-Jun-2023
    Thank you for the help with the corrections. I have made them. I always appreciate the help.
Comment from Wendy G
Excellent
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Age doesn't matter that much. One of my sons-in- law is nearly eight years older than my daughter and the other is ten years older than my other daughter. I can see the point about them not having the reading program on the footpath. Why not in a corner of the bakery, as it is big enough for dancing? Wendy

 Comment Written 18-Jun-2023


reply by the author on 19-Jun-2023
    I know age doesn't matter, but it does to Seth, or is he just looking for an excuse. Hmm. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Excellent
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Another excellent chapter, it's so romantic. I wish I had a Seth in my life. I hope Seth deals with Peggy soon. Well done, Barbara. I can't wait for the next one.

 Comment Written 18-Jun-2023


reply by the author on 19-Jun-2023
    I am sure there's a few Seth's out there, just not many. LOL I raised four boys. One of them is close to Seth. The others are just normal men. Thank you for the kind review.
reply by Gypsy Blue Rose on 19-Jun-2023
    Normal men are good too. LoL
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2023
    True. I married one.
Comment from lancellot
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

The writing and editing are as always top notch. This will appeal to your target FS audience. Your notes and responses to reviews help readers understand what or why things are proceeding the way they are, and your intentions.

Now. Having said all that, here is the concern. Without those, for people who only know what they read or see 'in story', the reader may become bored. As nothing of importance happens. Random sort of issues simply pop up. (Biological parents. Emma is grown. Who cares? A semi-maybe dangerous, maybe not, invisible stalker. No threat shown there. Random robbers, just pop up in a small town. Here today, gone tomorrow. No real impact.) No, logical reason for the delay in the MCs "Romance" is shown. The opposition really has nothing to oppose, as nothing is happening.

Does Emma want Seth. Maybe, but this young adult doesn't do anything.
Does Seth want Emma. Maybe, but this young adult doesn't do anything.
Does Peggy want Seth. Maybe, but this young adult doesn't do anything, and didn't before Emma showed up. For some reason this good, young, handsome, single man only sleeps with his dog.
Are there other single men and women in this town. Apparently not, because they would've been flirting with Emma. That's what dudes do.

Does Emma need anyone's permission to read with kids (in America) outside of their parents. NO WAY. Have it indoors, in the backyard, in a park, a church, wherever. In America, the city, library, Peggy has no say. That makes no sense.

And Peggy. Why spend the energy to thwart Emma, when Peggy can just walk up to Seth and say, "Let's have a lunch date. And if you like me, I'll sleep with you tonight." That's what a normal interested adult woman would do.

My point. This 2023 in America, and none of these adults seem to notice or behave like normal adults. People who "only" read the book, may not understand why the obvious isn't happening.

 Comment Written 18-Jun-2023


reply by the author on 19-Jun-2023
    I guess we live in different worlds. I do have an audience and not just in FanStory. I am selling my books, not getting rich. Some people like to read them. I am sorry you don't. It is a free world, at least right now.
reply by lancellot on 19-Jun-2023
    I am not talking about us living in different worlds. I am only trying to point out, that there are normal obvious things people do, especially young people, who like each other. (not sexual) Normal, establishing a relationship things between men and women do or did since high school. Simple words, questions, or requests.

    Inside of the story. Inside the world of this story. No explanation, in story, is given why these normal people are not doing normal things.

    That all I'm trying to point out.
Comment from Jay Squires
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Good chapter, and what a follow-up with the policeman doing the Cupid Shuffle (Which I'd never heard of). A few thoughts:

Ace tilted his head. "Um." [I like that!]

"Yes." She removed the hair elastic holding her braid together. "It's not. It's because Peggy thinks you're her boyfriend, and I'm in the way." [It seems you should explain her switch from "yes" it is his fault to "no" it isn't. It seems too abrupt for me, but it's a gut feeling.]

Great chapter!






 Comment Written 18-Jun-2023


reply by the author on 19-Jun-2023
    Thank you for the kind review. I will check that area.