Comment from Andrea Kepple

Excellent

I like the twist at the end. The feeling of being so close and yet not quite getting it across the finish line. Best of luck with the contest.

 Comment Written 04-Jun-2023

---

reply by the author on 04-Jun-2023

Thank you so much! I was going for the feeling you mentioned, as well as the hurt of the friends' betrayal. I appreciate your reviewing and I am glad that you liked my little story.

Comment from Debbie D'Arcy

Excellent

A short piece of prose outlining an unfortunate ending. Your story is well-written with a good deal of expectation that you will win the vote. Dialogue is well done and characters emerge from your text. But all hopes - so often the case in these contests! - are dashed. A good job in such economic word count. Well done for bringing the story to life and good luck! Debbie

 Comment Written 04-Jun-2023

---

reply by the author on 04-Jun-2023

Thank you so much, Debbie. I started out having problems with getting a story out of so few words, but thanks to my wonderful friends on Fanstory I have improved to the point that I can now write stories such as this one. Thank you for being part of the team.

Comment from Wendy G

Excellent

Losing by those three votes would have been like rubbing salt into the wound! Well written. A fine story for the contest. Sending you best wishes.
Wendy

 Comment Written 04-Jun-2023

---

reply by the author on 04-Jun-2023

Thank you so much! That was how I saw it, too, when I wrote it. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my work.