My Notes From Above The Ground.
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "The Parens Patriaea Business."A collection of episods of a Homeless Woman.
2 total reviews
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Very interesting and well written/constructed prose giving a good legal perspective on the main protagonist. there are some tiny edits: 4th para from the bottom - knowing (right) from wrong; last para - transported me to a room in the lock-up. Excellent post. Thanks for sharing. Debbie
reply by the author on 13-May-2023
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Very interesting and well written/constructed prose giving a good legal perspective on the main protagonist. there are some tiny edits: 4th para from the bottom - knowing (right) from wrong; last para - transported me to a room in the lock-up. Excellent post. Thanks for sharing. Debbie
Comment Written 13-May-2023
reply by the author on 13-May-2023
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Thanks for the corrections. I will fix them. It's getting hard on my eyes to work on a Lap Top. I miss errors but I wonder why my MS Words doesn't catch them. Many thanks.
Arun.
Comment from lancellot
This is biographical fiction. I am not sure how much is nonfiction or fiction. So, I will limit my review to structural aspects. I listed a few examples, but I recommend going through the post again for more edits.
notes:
However, I am not given to thinking about [the] future and this was an exception.
- add
I instinctively felt that it has something to do with banishing me from the scene, to a somewhere faraway place, where no one knows {my name, It did not matter} where I lived, as long as Pappy went with me, and the place has a river.
-my name. It did not matter
Boy's parents are demanding that you must be tried in the adult court.
- The boy's parents
as an indicator of possible serious mental illness {called.} 'Border line Schizophrenia'.
-called,
reply by the author on 13-May-2023
|
This is biographical fiction. I am not sure how much is nonfiction or fiction. So, I will limit my review to structural aspects. I listed a few examples, but I recommend going through the post again for more edits.
notes:
However, I am not given to thinking about [the] future and this was an exception.
- add
I instinctively felt that it has something to do with banishing me from the scene, to a somewhere faraway place, where no one knows {my name, It did not matter} where I lived, as long as Pappy went with me, and the place has a river.
-my name. It did not matter
Boy's parents are demanding that you must be tried in the adult court.
- The boy's parents
as an indicator of possible serious mental illness {called.} 'Border line Schizophrenia'.
-called,
Comment Written 13-May-2023
reply by the author on 13-May-2023
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Thanks for your assistance and edits. I am not sure why MS Word's grammar and spelling checker does not flag these. I try to ignore grammar rules when dialogues are written to make spoken language more close to the character's way of speaking. I will revisit those areas. All the best.
Arun
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