Ancient Art of Poetry
Viewing comments for Chapter 25 "Disguised "A compilation of poems
11 total reviews
Comment from thoughtgame2
very well done. so much said within those few sentences. you are truly a master at doing that. I really believe that it takes a while to be able to exemplify your intentions in the way that you do. Most will not get it but those that do will never forget it. thanx for sharing sis.
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2023
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very well done. so much said within those few sentences. you are truly a master at doing that. I really believe that it takes a while to be able to exemplify your intentions in the way that you do. Most will not get it but those that do will never forget it. thanx for sharing sis.
Comment Written 02-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2023
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Thank you so much! And thanks as always for your insight and kind remarks! Have an awesome day!
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
A powerful message in which the wind becomes a metaphor for the hostage taker "abducting" the now surrendering hostage, thus becoming inextricably one - "I am heart and wind." Beautifully expressed in this 5-7-5 verse (accurately counted). And is that your fine artwork as well, Lea? Good luck! Debbie
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2023
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A powerful message in which the wind becomes a metaphor for the hostage taker "abducting" the now surrendering hostage, thus becoming inextricably one - "I am heart and wind." Beautifully expressed in this 5-7-5 verse (accurately counted). And is that your fine artwork as well, Lea? Good luck! Debbie
Comment Written 01-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2023
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Thank you Debbie yes it is my artwork i'm glad you like this one too! Thank you again for your time and prayer of you always grateful for it. I hope you're evening is awesome thanks again!
Comment from Tirza Savellano
I like the "h" consonance you incorporate in this piece with each line. While the image of wind is often seen as serene or peaceful, your use of the words "hurricane" and "heartless" give it a new, restless meaning. Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2023
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I like the "h" consonance you incorporate in this piece with each line. While the image of wind is often seen as serene or peaceful, your use of the words "hurricane" and "heartless" give it a new, restless meaning. Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 01-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2023
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Thank you again, I'm glad you liked this one. Happy to receive your review! Thank you for your insight. I appreciate that most of all I hope that you're enjoying the beautiful sunshine!
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
A fine poem where the writer has power even so, and has the potential to overcome the dominant partner. Technically, I very much liked the way the first line drives the following ones because of its power. kay
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2023
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A fine poem where the writer has power even so, and has the potential to overcome the dominant partner. Technically, I very much liked the way the first line drives the following ones because of its power. kay
Comment Written 01-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2023
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Thank you again, k always happy to receive your reviews. Reviews and appreciate in your comments and insight as always. I appreciate your time and your insight. I thank you very much again!
Comment from JSD
An excellent and thought-provoking little syllabic box. There is so much subtext here and your language hints at worlds beyond. Well done.
John
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2023
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An excellent and thought-provoking little syllabic box. There is so much subtext here and your language hints at worlds beyond. Well done.
John
Comment Written 01-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2023
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Thank you, John, for your kind review your comments and time are important to me, so thank you.
Very glad you like this and I hope your day is amazing!
Comment from Lisasview
Oh the thoughts that went into your wonderful words Lea!!
I could feel the pain jump off the page and into my heart!
Wishing you the very best in the upcoming contest....5-7-5 contest...
Lisasview, new to this site
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2023
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Oh the thoughts that went into your wonderful words Lea!!
I could feel the pain jump off the page and into my heart!
Wishing you the very best in the upcoming contest....5-7-5 contest...
Lisasview, new to this site
Comment Written 01-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2023
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Thank you again, Lisa, I'm really glad you like this. And all of the other things that you've commented on is appreciated by me! I always appreciate your reviews. Thank you for your interest as always. Have yourself an awesome day!
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Busy, with reading, reviewing writing and making pesto, from our homegrown (from seed) oh yes and Veggie soup...
Lisa
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Oh yummy what time's supper?
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Where do you live Lea... come on by...
Lisa
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I'm in Western Canada, southernmost part of British Columbia, the Florida of Canada they say even though Canada is not that warm of a country.
Comment from Alexandra Trovato
This is very disturbing topic but it is true, and I reality for tooi many people. I was strong when I was 26 and I escaped such a thing. I was blinded in one eye by what I would learn, it's my first attack of MS, and I had a newborn. Still, I left. I never looked back. I the same for anyone else in such a circumstance. Excellent and important writing. Best wishes!
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2023
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This is very disturbing topic but it is true, and I reality for tooi many people. I was strong when I was 26 and I escaped such a thing. I was blinded in one eye by what I would learn, it's my first attack of MS, and I had a newborn. Still, I left. I never looked back. I the same for anyone else in such a circumstance. Excellent and important writing. Best wishes!
Comment Written 30-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2023
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Oh Alexandra, i'm so sorry you went through such an ordeal! To be sick at the same time, must have been more than challenging, obviously life-changing and definitely a shock to the system! I hope you are thriving and as well as can be today! Thank you for your kind review. And your comments are always appreciated by me. And I hope your day is excellent, thanks again!
Comment from jim vecchio
The picture enhanced your work. You described that image so well in very few words.
I enjoyed that description " Harmless abducting wind".
I will remember this next time a hurricane again decides to visit us in Florida.
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2023
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The picture enhanced your work. You described that image so well in very few words.
I enjoyed that description " Harmless abducting wind".
I will remember this next time a hurricane again decides to visit us in Florida.
Comment Written 30-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2023
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I'm glad you liked it! Thank you so much!
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You are most welcome!
Comment from Brandon Clark
Very good entry. Only issue is that the last line is only 4 syllables, I sounded them out on a second read and then double checked them with an online syllable counter and Dictionary.com.
"Heart" is one syllable by the above analysis.
Suggestions: "I'm defying heart"
"I'm stoic in heart"
"I am strong of heart"
Hope you're having a great night!!
Brandon
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2023
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Very good entry. Only issue is that the last line is only 4 syllables, I sounded them out on a second read and then double checked them with an online syllable counter and Dictionary.com.
"Heart" is one syllable by the above analysis.
Suggestions: "I'm defying heart"
"I'm stoic in heart"
"I am strong of heart"
Hope you're having a great night!!
Brandon
Comment Written 18-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2023
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Hi Brandon thank you so much for your eagle eye and for your awesome time. And we're doing it is always appreciated by you. Thank you so much hope you're having a rockin evening!
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You're very welcome!!
Comment from shelley kaye
interesting and creative 575
very cool picture, too
one suggestion i have is maybe find a synonym for paper?
also, the black on blue is a bit hard to read
what about using a whitish font for the letters?
other than that, a good write
thank you for sharing and good luck in the contest
shelley :)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2023
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interesting and creative 575
very cool picture, too
one suggestion i have is maybe find a synonym for paper?
also, the black on blue is a bit hard to read
what about using a whitish font for the letters?
other than that, a good write
thank you for sharing and good luck in the contest
shelley :)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 17-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2023
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Hi Shelly thank you so much for your review and for your suggestions. I take them to heart and I appreciate everything you have to say and your comments and your time. Thank you very much!
