Love and Loss
Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "Fear"NaPoWriMo April Poetry Contest
19 total reviews
Comment from Chrissy710
Hi Jessica,, Congratulations on you win and a worthy one at that.
You express the fear of the unknown so adequately and I am sure we have all felt this at times in our lives. Sometimes i think it is just as well, because if we knew the answer maybe we would not want to exist.
I like to take each day at a time without too much thought to the future, so savour the moment so to speak.
Cheers Chris
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2023
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Hi Jessica,, Congratulations on you win and a worthy one at that.
You express the fear of the unknown so adequately and I am sure we have all felt this at times in our lives. Sometimes i think it is just as well, because if we knew the answer maybe we would not want to exist.
I like to take each day at a time without too much thought to the future, so savour the moment so to speak.
Cheers Chris
Comment Written 16-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2023
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Thanks so much, Chris! I appreciate your insight, always!
Jessica
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Wow, Jessica, no wonder you won the contest. It's very good. You explain fear so well. There is so much that I can relate to... many people can.
Well done!
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2023
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Wow, Jessica, no wonder you won the contest. It's very good. You explain fear so well. There is so much that I can relate to... many people can.
Well done!
Comment Written 16-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2023
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I appreciate that so much!
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
You have painted an excellent picture of what fear of the unknown is like. However, it is not so very different from many other intangible fears, fear of the the dark, fear of enclosed spaces, fear of the cold. Some of us suffer from many of these fears - it makes life extremely difficult. kay
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2023
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You have painted an excellent picture of what fear of the unknown is like. However, it is not so very different from many other intangible fears, fear of the the dark, fear of enclosed spaces, fear of the cold. Some of us suffer from many of these fears - it makes life extremely difficult. kay
Comment Written 16-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2023
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Well said, Kay. Thank you for your review!
Comment from Cindy Warren
I think everybody has had that sense of foreboding from time to time. It's hard to relax and almost impossible to sleep. You summed it up perfectly. I've tried to simply refuse to live in fear. It's easier said than done. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2023
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I think everybody has had that sense of foreboding from time to time. It's hard to relax and almost impossible to sleep. You summed it up perfectly. I've tried to simply refuse to live in fear. It's easier said than done. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 15-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2023
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Thank you so much, that means a lot!!
Comment from K.I. Betancur
In the first stanza, I would recommend "austere" instead of "despair," or something else rhyming with "fear," as you'd want to keep that word, I'm sure, haha. I feel "despair" throws off the rhyme scheme.
Otherwise, great work! Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2023
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In the first stanza, I would recommend "austere" instead of "despair," or something else rhyming with "fear," as you'd want to keep that word, I'm sure, haha. I feel "despair" throws off the rhyme scheme.
Otherwise, great work! Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 15-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2023
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Thank you so much!! Excellent suggestion, I will revisit
Comment from Heather Knight
Fear can be paralising and your poem reflects this perfectly. The feelings and emotions are very well explained.
I've greatly enjoyed this. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2023
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Fear can be paralising and your poem reflects this perfectly. The feelings and emotions are very well explained.
I've greatly enjoyed this. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 15-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2023
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Thank you so much, Heather!
Comment from Sugarray77
Great job on this! I enjoyed reading this poem on feelings. You did an excellent job of capturing the emotion and relaying in a meaningful way. Well done and good luck in the contest!!
Melissa
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2023
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Great job on this! I enjoyed reading this poem on feelings. You did an excellent job of capturing the emotion and relaying in a meaningful way. Well done and good luck in the contest!!
Melissa
Comment Written 15-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2023
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Thank you so much, Melissa!!
Comment from dragonpoet
Hi,
This poem shows us how bad letting fear rule our life is. It can take away good opportunities.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Good luck with the contest
Joan
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2023
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Hi,
This poem shows us how bad letting fear rule our life is. It can take away good opportunities.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Good luck with the contest
Joan
Comment Written 15-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2023
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Thank you, Joan!
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No problem.
Joan
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This is a skilfully written poem and I think we all can identify this kind of fear of the unknown as we cannot predict the future, great flow and rhymes and this poem wins my vote, love Dolly x x x
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2023
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This is a skilfully written poem and I think we all can identify this kind of fear of the unknown as we cannot predict the future, great flow and rhymes and this poem wins my vote, love Dolly x x x
Comment Written 15-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2023
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Thank you so much, Dolly! That means a lot to me!
<3
Comment from Brandon Clark
Very thoughtful and well crafted poem on a condition that can nearly be universally relatable for at least once in a lifetime. The word choice and flow was great!
This is purely a suggestion to consider on the 4th stanza:
Yet this brings me no peace
Does not even the score
Grabs hold with no release
And shakes me to my core
Consider:
This brings little peace
Nor levels the score
Grabs hold with no release
And shakes me to the core
Excellent just how you've penned it but offered the above since it's a contest entry and I felt, for what reason I'm not even totally sure, but feel the 4th stanza was less congruous with the others. Of course, it is yours and great either way. Just tried to consider it as if I were reviewing to vote on it and what others voting might consider as well.
Exceptional and a definite contender for winning! I wish nothing but the absolute best for you in the contest!!
Brandon
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2023
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Very thoughtful and well crafted poem on a condition that can nearly be universally relatable for at least once in a lifetime. The word choice and flow was great!
This is purely a suggestion to consider on the 4th stanza:
Yet this brings me no peace
Does not even the score
Grabs hold with no release
And shakes me to my core
Consider:
This brings little peace
Nor levels the score
Grabs hold with no release
And shakes me to the core
Excellent just how you've penned it but offered the above since it's a contest entry and I felt, for what reason I'm not even totally sure, but feel the 4th stanza was less congruous with the others. Of course, it is yours and great either way. Just tried to consider it as if I were reviewing to vote on it and what others voting might consider as well.
Exceptional and a definite contender for winning! I wish nothing but the absolute best for you in the contest!!
Brandon
Comment Written 15-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2023
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Excellent suggestions, I will revisit. Thank you so much, Brandon!
