The Miracle Of Spring
it has come at last42 total reviews
Comment from rama devi
This is exquisite, dear Yelena. Delicious phonics and delightful imagery. Perfect meter and good rhymes.
One spag nit-the cap on THE in line three is wrong since it is preceded by a dash:
a snowdrop's petals of the virgin white -
T(t)he trumpets ring of springtime, and we know,
Love all the S sounds in counterpoint with T and W in that first stanza
You have such a keen sense of the music of words, your work is a delight to read aloud.
Superb personification, and I love these lines:
My spring, your canvas is of solid gold;
your charming repertoire is quite a thrill.
Reading aloud, I delight especially in all the S and L and W sounds in the second and third stanza, along with all other phonic devices. Rollllls off the tongue. YUM.
Comma needed here, grammatically, due to the clause being independent:
You wake all senses(,) and you fill a soul,
Beautiful closing lines:
your inspiration is a poet's stroll
through beauty, colors and eternal love.
While I usually suggest avoiding using the cliche rhyme pair of LOVE and ABOVE, you use it so exquisitely here that I would not change it. Bravo.
Love,
rd
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2023
  |
This is exquisite, dear Yelena. Delicious phonics and delightful imagery. Perfect meter and good rhymes.
One spag nit-the cap on THE in line three is wrong since it is preceded by a dash:
a snowdrop's petals of the virgin white -
T(t)he trumpets ring of springtime, and we know,
Love all the S sounds in counterpoint with T and W in that first stanza
You have such a keen sense of the music of words, your work is a delight to read aloud.
Superb personification, and I love these lines:
My spring, your canvas is of solid gold;
your charming repertoire is quite a thrill.
Reading aloud, I delight especially in all the S and L and W sounds in the second and third stanza, along with all other phonic devices. Rollllls off the tongue. YUM.
Comma needed here, grammatically, due to the clause being independent:
You wake all senses(,) and you fill a soul,
Beautiful closing lines:
your inspiration is a poet's stroll
through beauty, colors and eternal love.
While I usually suggest avoiding using the cliche rhyme pair of LOVE and ABOVE, you use it so exquisitely here that I would not change it. Bravo.
Love,
rd
Comment Written 17-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2023
-
Thank you for the exquisite review and the six stars, dear Rama. I am quite flattered.
I changed the dash to semicolon before line 3 and kept the capital T in The in line 3. I hope it's okay.
So delighted you liked my poem and thank you again for the super review.
-
After a semicolon there is also no cap. If you change to a period, it will be correct as a cap.
But poetic license...so no worries...
Hugs,
rd
Comment from Lisasview
Lovely poem but I do have a couple of comments...
I feel that beginning so many lines with your...is unnecessary...must be a better word...
Also, repeating snow in the first line and second line
plus, the.. and... repeated twice in L 6
Then, L 7 and L8... Your.. repeated
L 9.. You... repeated twice...
Just food for thought
Good morning from Spain,
Lisa
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2023
 |
Lovely poem but I do have a couple of comments...
I feel that beginning so many lines with your...is unnecessary...must be a better word...
Also, repeating snow in the first line and second line
plus, the.. and... repeated twice in L 6
Then, L 7 and L8... Your.. repeated
L 9.. You... repeated twice...
Just food for thought
Good morning from Spain,
Lisa
Comment Written 18-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2023
-
Thank you, Lisa in Spain.
Comment from w.j.debi
What a beautiful tribute to spring. You're correct, we have longed for and waited for this sorceress (excellent word choice) to come and do her magic. I like that you mention that she awakens all senses. It does seem all our senses re-awaken in spring
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2023
|
What a beautiful tribute to spring. You're correct, we have longed for and waited for this sorceress (excellent word choice) to come and do her magic. I like that you mention that she awakens all senses. It does seem all our senses re-awaken in spring
Comment Written 13-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2023
-
Thank you for the wonderful review.
Comment from DeboraDyess
You describe spring so well! It makes me excited to read about and I can't wait to spend more time outside enjoying it!
I had a great time reading slowly through your words, loving the flow. I especially like the last two line!
Blessings and thank you for sharing.
Deb
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2023
|
You describe spring so well! It makes me excited to read about and I can't wait to spend more time outside enjoying it!
I had a great time reading slowly through your words, loving the flow. I especially like the last two line!
Blessings and thank you for sharing.
Deb
Comment Written 12-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2023
-
Thank you so much for the great review.
Comment from Aussie
the sorceress has brought her magic light. Love that line. Yes, you are seeing spring as we delve into Autumn. Great AB rhyming and the photo says it all. Crocus are a beautiful bulb, pushing through the snow-clad earth. Most enjoyable. K xx
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2023
|
the sorceress has brought her magic light. Love that line. Yes, you are seeing spring as we delve into Autumn. Great AB rhyming and the photo says it all. Crocus are a beautiful bulb, pushing through the snow-clad earth. Most enjoyable. K xx
Comment Written 12-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2023
-
Thank you for the great review.
Comment from Gloria ....
I think this a fine poem announcing that the crocuses have finally broken through.
A sublime write with excellent flow and rhyme and just that little extra something that makes a work glow.
Much enjoyed.
Gloria
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2023
|
I think this a fine poem announcing that the crocuses have finally broken through.
A sublime write with excellent flow and rhyme and just that little extra something that makes a work glow.
Much enjoyed.
Gloria
Comment Written 12-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2023
-
Thank you for the exceptional review and the six stars, Gloria. I am honored.
Comment from jake cosmos aller
a great little poem about Spring and all that it means. I love the language, and the images. I like the last stanza the best. Your inspiration is a poet's stroll.
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2023
|
a great little poem about Spring and all that it means. I love the language, and the images. I like the last stanza the best. Your inspiration is a poet's stroll.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2023
-
Thank you very much.
Comment from CrystieCookie999
I guess I like these lines best:
Oh, how we longed for her through all the cold
and blizzards, and the dreary winter's chill!
My spring, your canvas is of solid gold,
your charming repertoire is quite a thrill.
I think I would suggest using a semi-colon after the word gold, since there are two independent clauses there.
We sure all wish spring would sit down and stay a while.
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2023
|
I guess I like these lines best:
Oh, how we longed for her through all the cold
and blizzards, and the dreary winter's chill!
My spring, your canvas is of solid gold,
your charming repertoire is quite a thrill.
I think I would suggest using a semi-colon after the word gold, since there are two independent clauses there.
We sure all wish spring would sit down and stay a while.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2023
-
Thank you for a good review and the edit suggestion which has been implemented.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
I have written about crocuses before. Nature is amazing. How can something so delicate and beautiful break through snow and cold weather? Great rhyme that doesn't feel forced. The presentation is lovely.
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2023
|
I have written about crocuses before. Nature is amazing. How can something so delicate and beautiful break through snow and cold weather? Great rhyme that doesn't feel forced. The presentation is lovely.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2023
-
Thank you very much. Yes, these stoic little crocuses are messengers of spring!
Comment from Boogienights
A lovely poem for the coming spring season. It's beautifully descriptive and so soothing. We still have lots of snow on the ground, but your poem gives me hope. Thanks for sharing. :)
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2023
|
A lovely poem for the coming spring season. It's beautifully descriptive and so soothing. We still have lots of snow on the ground, but your poem gives me hope. Thanks for sharing. :)
Comment Written 12-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2023
-
Thank you for the great review. I am glad you liked it.
