Love and Loss
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Night Terror"NaPoWriMo April Poetry Contest
28 total reviews
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
A powerful verse full of dark imagery skilfully conveying a message of fear and trauma. I particularly liked the third stanza and the imagery attached to beating heart. I thought the choice of words was impressive and the sense of music beating over the "resting" puppet was very dramatic. As was so much of this, enhanced by the internal rhyme and fast flowing rhythm. An excellent milestone post. Well done! Debbie
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2023
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A powerful verse full of dark imagery skilfully conveying a message of fear and trauma. I particularly liked the third stanza and the imagery attached to beating heart. I thought the choice of words was impressive and the sense of music beating over the "resting" puppet was very dramatic. As was so much of this, enhanced by the internal rhyme and fast flowing rhythm. An excellent milestone post. Well done! Debbie
Comment Written 10-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2023
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Thank you, Debbie!!
<3
Jessica
Comment from Gloria ....
First off, congratulations on your milestone post. Wonderful achievement.
Your poem fills with vivid imagery about the fear and terror of nightmares. They can sometimes almost seem real.
You might want to introduce a little more a rhyming pattern, I do see internal and external rhymes so I wish you much luck with the Contest Committee.
Gloria
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2023
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First off, congratulations on your milestone post. Wonderful achievement.
Your poem fills with vivid imagery about the fear and terror of nightmares. They can sometimes almost seem real.
You might want to introduce a little more a rhyming pattern, I do see internal and external rhymes so I wish you much luck with the Contest Committee.
Gloria
Comment Written 10-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2023
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Thank you so much, Gloria!! Your perceptive words mean a lot to me!
Comment from w.j.debi
Who could sleep with all these shadows and demons filling the mind with dread?
Excellent rhyming and meter. The rhythm adds to the building terror and keeps the pace racing. You capture the feeling well.
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2023
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Who could sleep with all these shadows and demons filling the mind with dread?
Excellent rhyming and meter. The rhythm adds to the building terror and keeps the pace racing. You capture the feeling well.
Comment Written 10-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2023
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Thank you!! I really appreciate that!
<3
Jessica
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Your contest entry read well, Jessica. I enjoyed the
internal rhyme in every line. Your words were well
chosen and descriptive. The rhymes added another
layer of enjoyment to your theme. The verses read
at a quickened pace as readers took in all the 'things'
happening around them.
Thanks for sharing and best wishes in the contest, Jan
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2023
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Your contest entry read well, Jessica. I enjoyed the
internal rhyme in every line. Your words were well
chosen and descriptive. The rhymes added another
layer of enjoyment to your theme. The verses read
at a quickened pace as readers took in all the 'things'
happening around them.
Thanks for sharing and best wishes in the contest, Jan
Comment Written 09-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2023
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Thank you, Jan!! :)
Comment from Jesse James Doty
The internal and external rhymes are all well done and I enjoyed in a scary sense the descriptions of the terrorizing room that we tend to sleep in when we have bad dreams. But I think the last line leaves me with the question who is she?
Otherwise, I am consumed by these terror dreams and I agree that they catch you in your sleep at night.
Thanks for taking us where we dare to go!
Jesse
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2023
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The internal and external rhymes are all well done and I enjoyed in a scary sense the descriptions of the terrorizing room that we tend to sleep in when we have bad dreams. But I think the last line leaves me with the question who is she?
Otherwise, I am consumed by these terror dreams and I agree that they catch you in your sleep at night.
Thanks for taking us where we dare to go!
Jesse
Comment Written 09-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2023
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Thanks so much, Jesse!
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You are an excellent writer, Jessica. Keep writing.
Offer some feedback to the reviewer.
Jesse
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Jesse, I am incredibly grateful for your kind words. Your word holds much weight, and your insight is very meaningful. Thank you so much!
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Thanks. Much better...I still wonder who she is.
Comment from Ulla
Congratulations on your 50th milestone with this very dark poem. It seems to origin from some very dark thoughts. I sure hope you're not this troubled. Beautifully written. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2023
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Congratulations on your 50th milestone with this very dark poem. It seems to origin from some very dark thoughts. I sure hope you're not this troubled. Beautifully written. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 09-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2023
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Thank you, Ulla! It's a bit dark, yes, intended to express clinical "night terrors" associated with PTSD. Thank you for your review!
<3
Jessica
Comment from Tom Horonzy
Who are you and how does someone in the21t century write as if she is peering from the turrets of a castle in Wales or Cornish? Frightening to think how one can sleep with such darkened thoughts beneath one's sheets.
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2023
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Who are you and how does someone in the21t century write as if she is peering from the turrets of a castle in Wales or Cornish? Frightening to think how one can sleep with such darkened thoughts beneath one's sheets.
Comment Written 09-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2023
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Not without effort! Thank you, Tom!!
<3
Jessica
Comment from Mario PIERRE
You chose a very dark tone and it is achieved throughout the whole poem. It reveals the power of fear and the fragility of our mind. I like the ending verse: behind closed eyes, again she dies...
Masterfully written!!
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2023
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You chose a very dark tone and it is achieved throughout the whole poem. It reveals the power of fear and the fragility of our mind. I like the ending verse: behind closed eyes, again she dies...
Masterfully written!!
Comment Written 09-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2023
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Thank you so much, that means a lot to me!
Comment from JT traveller
Congratulations on your milestone post and also sharing a well composed poem. The wording is creepy and dark, the theme is carried well throughout. A thoroughly enjoyable read.
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2023
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Congratulations on your milestone post and also sharing a well composed poem. The wording is creepy and dark, the theme is carried well throughout. A thoroughly enjoyable read.
Comment Written 09-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2023
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Thanks so much! I gravitated toward the dark side on this one lol appreciate your feedback, as always!
Comment from Sanku
The internl rhymes are brilliant. you have told the story of a victim of nightmare .There is no escape for her since her trauma haunts her .all the best for the contest.
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2023
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The internl rhymes are brilliant. you have told the story of a victim of nightmare .There is no escape for her since her trauma haunts her .all the best for the contest.
Comment Written 09-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2023
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Thank you! Well said
