Comment from Father Flaps

Excellent

Hi Maria,
I noticed the capital H, "Him", at first. So I thought it must be religious in nature. But when I started to read the short fiction, I thought the parents were upset with their daughter because she was leaving home to live with her boyfriend. Then I read your last line, and remembered "Him". They were upset because they didn't want their daughter to become a nun!
Nicely penned!
Hugs,
Kimbob

 Comment Written 20-Mar-2023

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reply by the author on 22-Mar-2023

I used the capital H because it was a title...
Thanks so much for your review.
Take care.

Comment from Pearl Edwards

Excellent

Your flash fiction story has a good twist in the final sentence, Heather, especially with no capital H in him which would have given things away. Great write and good luck in the contest.
Cheers
Valda

 Comment Written 19-Mar-2023

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reply by the author on 22-Mar-2023

Thanks so much for reading. x

Comment from Faith Williams

Excellent

That was great, Heather. I certainly didn't have it figured out. After reading your piece, I appreciate the title more. Thanks for sharing, and best wishes in the contest.

 Comment Written 18-Mar-2023

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reply by the author on 22-Mar-2023

Thanks so much for reading. x

Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose

Excellent

Excellent entry for the 75 Words Flash Fiction contest. It grabbed my interest. The dialogue is believable. And the characters seem real. The ending was surprising......good twist.

Gypsy
"Poetry heals the wounds inflicted by reason" -- Novalis

 Comment Written 17-Mar-2023

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reply by the author on 22-Mar-2023

Thanks so much for reading. xxx

Comment from Jannypan (Jan)

Excellent

You did a great job with your contest entry, Heather.
I enjoyed reading it. I liked the image of the pretty
things. Your twist at the end snuck in nicely. I wasn't
expecting it.
Thanks for sharing and best wishes in the contest, Jan

 Comment Written 16-Mar-2023

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reply by the author on 22-Mar-2023

Thanks so much for reading. x

Comment from Bill Schott

Excellent

This seventy-five-word story, Because of Him, has the proper word count and at the end reveals to us that God has called our speaker into his service.

 Comment Written 16-Mar-2023

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reply by the author on 22-Mar-2023

Thanks for your review.

Comment from w.j.debi

Excellent

Some parents are proud when their children decide on a life of service. It isn't an easy one. Of course, the daughter thought they would be proud of her. Sounds like these parents are not supportive of the decision and are trying to convince their daughter to reconsider.
You pack a punch in a concise and direct manner. Well done.

 Comment Written 16-Mar-2023

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reply by the author on 22-Mar-2023

Thanks for your kind review.

Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

Lol. Now that's an unexpected twist! I know several women from college who joined a nunnery. I think their parents were supportive like the narrator here thought. It seems her love for God was greater than for those pretty things. Best wishes in the contest!

 Comment Written 16-Mar-2023

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reply by the author on 22-Mar-2023

Thanks so much for reading. x

Comment from patcelaw

Excellent

I enjoyed your story very much. I wish you the very best in the contest. I would ask you to pray for me because I am going to have to have surgery to have my gallbladder removed because of gallstones. Patricia.

 Comment Written 16-Mar-2023

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reply by the author on 22-Mar-2023

Thanks so much for reading. Have you already have surgery? x

Comment from royowen

Excellent

Yes, I can understand that. One day your child is going to leave home, as mine left mine, and the first was the worst, she married another man, but a life of service married to God, living a life of austerity, that's a bit much! Beautifully written Maria, great job, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 16-Mar-2023

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reply by the author on 22-Mar-2023

I guess you're right. Thanks so much for reading.

reply by royowen on 22-Mar-2023

Well done