A Childhood Scare
Four stanzas-abcb55 total reviews
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This sounds really scary, especially for a kid. You captured the excitement and the joy you experienced on that farm, but your Father was thinking of safety when he decided to uproot his family and move, fine rhymes and flow, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
This sounds really scary, especially for a kid. You captured the excitement and the joy you experienced on that farm, but your Father was thinking of safety when he decided to uproot his family and move, fine rhymes and flow, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
Comment Written 22-Feb-2023
Comment from BermyBye50
Jaybird1,
This is an excellent rhyming poem. Personal memories are ripe for creative expression. You've skillfully taken the reader on a journey through one of those childhood memories. Well done.
Note: a correction is needed on the last line in the 3rd stanza.
Dad learned his lesson, sold that farm
and bought a farm near the next town.
There we felt more calm and peaceful.
Leaving my first home left me dowm (down).
All the best,
Eugene
Jaybird1,
This is an excellent rhyming poem. Personal memories are ripe for creative expression. You've skillfully taken the reader on a journey through one of those childhood memories. Well done.
Note: a correction is needed on the last line in the 3rd stanza.
Dad learned his lesson, sold that farm
and bought a farm near the next town.
There we felt more calm and peaceful.
Leaving my first home left me dowm (down).
All the best,
Eugene
Comment Written 22-Feb-2023
Comment from royowen
If anyone has been inundated by water they'll know that terror of being without dry land to place one's feet upon. As always, thank you for sharing your fabulous poem. Well done, blessings Roy
If anyone has been inundated by water they'll know that terror of being without dry land to place one's feet upon. As always, thank you for sharing your fabulous poem. Well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 22-Feb-2023
Comment from patcelaw
X In the second line, you use the word steam instead of stream, so you may wanna go back and check that out. Flooding and water is always a scary thing for us in life. Have a good day and God bless. Patricia.
X In the second line, you use the word steam instead of stream, so you may wanna go back and check that out. Flooding and water is always a scary thing for us in life. Have a good day and God bless. Patricia.
Comment Written 22-Feb-2023
Comment from jessizero
I think you have a typo in your last line. I'm not an expert, though - it could be a word I don't know.
I enjoyed your poem. Thank you so much for sharing, and best wishes to you.
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I think you have a typo in your last line. I'm not an expert, though - it could be a word I don't know.
I enjoyed your poem. Thank you so much for sharing, and best wishes to you.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-Feb-2023