Reviews from

The Farewell

Viewing comments for Prologue "A Final Farewell"
Last conversations with dad

16 total reviews 
Comment from jessizero
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I like that you put directions on how the speaker should speak with feeling. Your script leaves me wondering what happens next. Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.

 Comment Written 23-Feb-2023


reply by the author on 23-Feb-2023
    I have all the scripts written. The last to release on March 17. Thank you for reading and taking the time to review. Greatly appreciated.
Comment from Terry Broxson
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

An interesting but sad script. I assume you could be adding to this story if you choose to do so. Nine children, with Timothy coming eighteen years after Peggy, could provide a dynamic family interaction. Good job. Terry.

 Comment Written 23-Feb-2023


reply by the author on 23-Feb-2023
    Thanks Terry. There are 9 scripts in total that have been written I and II have posted as I got the cart in front of the horse so to speak. I will release the remaining seven over the next 3 weeks. Thanks for reading and taking the time to review. Appreciate the stars for sure.
Comment from jmdg1954
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Excellent writing as far as I can tell, I've never tried script. You've set this up well for ensuing dialogues between children and father and possibly within siblings.

Looking forward to additional posts.
John

 Comment Written 23-Feb-2023


reply by the author on 23-Feb-2023
    Thank you. I have two in the jar so far. Farewell I and Farewell II. I kind of came in behind with this post as I felt I needed to set the stage first. I got the cart in front of the horse so to speak. I will have seven more posts with the last one scheduled for March 17. Appreciate your comments and the review.
reply by jmdg1954 on 23-Feb-2023
    Cool, looking forward to them.
Comment from Jesse James Doty
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a great attempt at screenplay yet I suggest that you place this heading under script instead of non-fiction. That way we are prepared for what is ahead. This is a real tear-jerker and it tells us all about the children whispering while their father is asleep what to say as their last goodbye. A great title, by the way! Good luck in the script department!
Jesse

 Comment Written 23-Feb-2023


reply by the author on 23-Feb-2023
    Thank you for the suggestion. Quite honestly I wasn`t sure but it makes sense. Thank you for reading and the fine review. I will make the change as suggested.
reply by Jesse James Doty on 23-Feb-2023
    Great! Glad I could help!
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2023
    TY
Comment from INtity
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

There is good dialogue and you can imagine the sadness in the room. I would shorten the details of the room a little, not necessary in my opinion but this does bring me back to the same feelings and atmosphere there was when my wife's grandma died.

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 Comment Written 23-Feb-2023


reply by the author on 23-Feb-2023
    valid point. As you say, just trying to capture the moment. This was written for my siblings so I engaged a little more than I probably should. Thank you for reading and a fine review. Appreciated.
Comment from Bill Schott
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This script, The Farewell, creates the setting and scene, introduces the characters involved, and lends some idea of who is the driving force within the gathered cast.

Separate stories may unfold and combine within the play.

I find your set up good and see a dramatic story to be told through the children and father and these final conversations.

This would be either a great vehicle for these siblings to project their real feeling into the work, or an excellent opportunity to let the imagination run wild.

 Comment Written 23-Feb-2023


reply by the author on 23-Feb-2023
    Thanks Bill. It will begin unfolding and conclude on March 17. My siblings have indicated that I have captured both their spirit and my dad?s. Most scripts are rather short but poignant. Thanks again for the very kind review.