Comment from karenina

Excellent

Now, how the Devil Dog did I miss this? Oh...it must have been a blind contest? Sorry, Mark! Very clever marriage of nature with technology...
The best kind of "Xeroxing" I'd say! Congrats on settling into the winner's circle with this one!

Karenina

 Comment Written 05-Mar-2023

---

reply by the author on 05-Mar-2023

Thanks Karenina!

As always, you are on my side. No issue that you did not see it originally. Thanks for the support.

Mark

reply by karenina on 06-Mar-2023

Nice to know I can double back and catch some of these winners!

:)

Comment from Julcia

Excellent

This hailu presents strong artwork of an evergreen and its shadow
in the winter sunlight. Appropriate
and clever words carefully bring this poem into completion. Very creative hailu.

Julcia

 Comment Written 02-Mar-2023

---

reply by the author on 02-Mar-2023

Hi Julcia,

So pleased you liked my ?Hailu? poem format. Evergreen would have been a good word choice but would have ruined my Hailu format. I had considered specifying a tree name but chose the photo as my complementary image.

Thanks for your kind review for this contest entry.

P.S. Methinks this is the first review I have ever received from you (-:

reply by Julcia on 02-Mar-2023

Thanks for creating the hailu. I had to twist some neurons to practise working out the schema.
Julcia

reply by the author on 02-Mar-2023

Thanks. My guess is that elementary students will find it easier to write in the Jack Collom poem format. BTW ? I edited my first line based on your review and another FanStorian?s.

reply by Julcia on 02-Mar-2023

The word "evergreen" does ground. the
poem . Great edit.

Julcia

reply by the author on 02-Mar-2023

Thanks! Pleased I am now grounded (-;

reply by Julcia on 02-Mar-2023

Reread your hailu. Super.

Comment from RodG

Excellent

I really like what you're trying to do here in this short poem, but I think a poem needs to stand alone and not depend on the photo for its full meaning. WHAT was copied? You need to mention the tree in the poem itself or in your title.

 Comment Written 02-Mar-2023

---

reply by the author on 02-Mar-2023

You may be correct about this. I had considered including a specific tree name but decided the photo would tell my story.

reply by the author on 02-Mar-2023

Rod,

OK, you and another reviewer persuaded me now to edit my first line. Honestly, I was happy with the original and fully realized the photo provided the nuance. One should typically not let the artwork define the verse.

reply by RodG on 02-Mar-2023

Much, much better. I added a star to my previous rating.

reply by the author on 02-Mar-2023

R, I did not change it to earn the extra star from you. We all know this rating system is flawed . IMHO earning a six star rating is equivalent to getting an A+. Maybe a five should be considered as a solid B and not a B+; the 4 stars is a good effort but could be better (C+ to B-?). One star is certainly a failing grade; two might be considered (as a D) in the low to mid 60s.

reply by RodG on 02-Mar-2023

Some school systems use a 3-2-1 system now. A 3 means you have shown you have learned what is expected. A 2 means you are showing improvement, but more learning is needed. A1 means you have not mastered the basics. I would give your new poem a 3.

reply by the author on 02-Mar-2023

I accept your 3 rating!

Your rating system should be adopted by FS, but I would add a 3+ for an outstanding effort - methinks it will never happen LOL