Waves Fear no One
A day at the beach29 total reviews
Comment from Tpa
An excellent story. You created tension at the beginning, arousing readers that something was about to happen. Further conflict was the neglect of her mother. Your descriptions made your story more excitable.
Good Job
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2023
  |
An excellent story. You created tension at the beginning, arousing readers that something was about to happen. Further conflict was the neglect of her mother. Your descriptions made your story more excitable.
Good Job
Comment Written 12-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2023
-
Wow. Thank you for those shiny stars. More important thank you for reading my post.
Comment from jessizero
This was such a scary story, but in the end, the child wasn't scared at all. That's great. Your granddaughter is adorable. Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2023
 |
This was such a scary story, but in the end, the child wasn't scared at all. That's great. Your granddaughter is adorable. Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.
Comment Written 12-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2023
-
Thank you, Jessi. I appreciate your stopping by.
Comment from Terry Broxson
LOL, I think that is exactly how a kid of that age would react! This is a good choice for this contest, good luck. You set the story up nicely with enough drama but ended with a good humorous twist. Excellent writing. Terry.
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2023
|
LOL, I think that is exactly how a kid of that age would react! This is a good choice for this contest, good luck. You set the story up nicely with enough drama but ended with a good humorous twist. Excellent writing. Terry.
Comment Written 12-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2023
-
Terry, thank you for stopping to read and comment.
Comment from BethShelby
I love this story. Kids can surprise you. I can imagine her mother seeing the wave take her under be be standing up worried about her little girl swallowing salt water and getting scraped by the sand. Not a problem. This kid was having a blast and not scared at all.
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2023
|
I love this story. Kids can surprise you. I can imagine her mother seeing the wave take her under be be standing up worried about her little girl swallowing salt water and getting scraped by the sand. Not a problem. This kid was having a blast and not scared at all.
Comment Written 12-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2023
-
That?s for sure. Thank you fir taking the time to read and review.
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Very well done. Nicely written.
In just two hundred words you offered enough suspense to captivate readers. We didn't know whether Gracie would live, or die.
Very deserving of six stars.
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2023
|
Very well done. Nicely written.
In just two hundred words you offered enough suspense to captivate readers. We didn't know whether Gracie would live, or die.
Very deserving of six stars.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 12-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2023
-
Thank you for reading, sharing and those shiny stars! I do appreciate it.
Comment from PoemsOfDD
Whoa... I actually thought the ending was going to be more somber with a little Gracie crying or a mother shocked to see her state but no... little Gracie wanted more of the action. Nicely done. I enjoyed this well thought out short story.
Ps - the word - tragedy - in the title is a misleading carrot.
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2023
|
Whoa... I actually thought the ending was going to be more somber with a little Gracie crying or a mother shocked to see her state but no... little Gracie wanted more of the action. Nicely done. I enjoyed this well thought out short story.
Ps - the word - tragedy - in the title is a misleading carrot.
Comment Written 12-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2023
-
Waves Fear no One, a better title?
Thank you for pointing that out.
I appreciate your stopping to read. Thank you.
-
Yes, a better title :-)
Comment from phill doran
Hello Anon,
A lovely - and very real - twist. You took me by surprise, well done.
If I can just offer the following points (which may or may not be valid - terms and conditions apply...)
the suns - should be the sun's ('s)
she knelt digging - she knelt, digging
knocked her from her feet - I think the expression is "off" her feet. To be knocked "from" you feet would mean that the feet were detached.
Just some thoughts - none of this detracts from your tale.
cheers
phill
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2023
|
Hello Anon,
A lovely - and very real - twist. You took me by surprise, well done.
If I can just offer the following points (which may or may not be valid - terms and conditions apply...)
the suns - should be the sun's ('s)
she knelt digging - she knelt, digging
knocked her from her feet - I think the expression is "off" her feet. To be knocked "from" you feet would mean that the feet were detached.
Just some thoughts - none of this detracts from your tale.
cheers
phill
Comment Written 12-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2023
-
Thank you so much for your corrections. I will go back right after this.
Always looking to learn.
Comment from Nicki Nance
The title was a bit deceiving, but you told the story well. Your description of Grace's physical experience was especially compelling. You make a great case for the resilience of children. You missed an apostrophe at the beginning. Suns should possssive sun's.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2023
|
The title was a bit deceiving, but you told the story well. Your description of Grace's physical experience was especially compelling. You make a great case for the resilience of children. You missed an apostrophe at the beginning. Suns should possssive sun's.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 12-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2023
-
Thank you for reading and sharing. I changed the title. I appreciate your time very much.
Comment from JT traveller
A succinct and intriguing read. Very lucky that Gracie survived. I am glad your story did not end tragically.
I appreciate that you were able to stick to the word limit. Not an easy thing to do.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2023
|
A succinct and intriguing read. Very lucky that Gracie survived. I am glad your story did not end tragically.
I appreciate that you were able to stick to the word limit. Not an easy thing to do.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 12-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2023
-
Thank you for your time. I appreciate it very much.
