Stare
A poem of deep rooted jealousy32 total reviews
Comment from Douglas Goff
Excellent work. The twist at the end was unexpected. This will certainly be a contender for the top spot in the One Word Jealousy Contest.
Nicely done and thank you for sharing!
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2023
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Excellent work. The twist at the end was unexpected. This will certainly be a contender for the top spot in the One Word Jealousy Contest.
Nicely done and thank you for sharing!
Comment Written 12-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2023
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Thank you so much! I am beyond grateful for your feedback and support!
Comment from patcelaw
It is such a sad thing when there are those who are jealous of others. Sometimes they're jealous about our successes. Sometimes are jealous about our children. Sometimes they're just jealous about everything that we do. We just kinda have to set it aside and go on and live our lives according to the way, we know God wants us to live. Patricia.
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2023
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It is such a sad thing when there are those who are jealous of others. Sometimes they're jealous about our successes. Sometimes are jealous about our children. Sometimes they're just jealous about everything that we do. We just kinda have to set it aside and go on and live our lives according to the way, we know God wants us to live. Patricia.
Comment Written 12-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2023
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Here, here! Thank you for this comment :)
Comment from LJbutterfly
You did an excellent job describing the green eyed monster of jealousy and envy. How about when the girl has a handsome boyfriend who asks her to marry him. Or when she gets that big job promotion and buys a new car. Jealousy is wicked with no mercy and will eat you alive. Great job with this poem. Best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2023
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You did an excellent job describing the green eyed monster of jealousy and envy. How about when the girl has a handsome boyfriend who asks her to marry him. Or when she gets that big job promotion and buys a new car. Jealousy is wicked with no mercy and will eat you alive. Great job with this poem. Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 12-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2023
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Thank you so much for your review and well wishes <3
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
This poem is wonderfully written even though it's about a green eyed girl whose heart will break, and she'll make more mistakes. Why does jealousy have to turn green with envy?
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2023
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This poem is wonderfully written even though it's about a green eyed girl whose heart will break, and she'll make more mistakes. Why does jealousy have to turn green with envy?
Comment Written 12-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2023
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Thank you, kindly for the review and stars!! <3
Comment from Raul1
This poem meets the requirements for the contest. It's beautifully written. The sentences flow with clarity. Excellent work! No grammatical errors. Thank you for sharing!
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2023
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This poem meets the requirements for the contest. It's beautifully written. The sentences flow with clarity. Excellent work! No grammatical errors. Thank you for sharing!
Comment Written 12-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2023
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Thank you so much for your review!
Comment from Thesis
I like how this poem makes me think of so many things. Is it a self prophesy? Does it mean to inflict hard through jealous intent? Is it a flashback to when you were young and carefree? Do you wish you could relive and change the outcome of some parts of your life. There is pain and foreboding here, which makes me wonder why the jealousy.
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2023
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I like how this poem makes me think of so many things. Is it a self prophesy? Does it mean to inflict hard through jealous intent? Is it a flashback to when you were young and carefree? Do you wish you could relive and change the outcome of some parts of your life. There is pain and foreboding here, which makes me wonder why the jealousy.
Comment Written 12-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2023
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Ah thank you so much for your review. Truly, that is such a compliment..I strive to create pieces that have a bit of greyness. Thank you!!
Comment from Debi Pick Marquette
This is awesome and eerie to read, but so intriguing,
I love it and I thought the ending to be so creative and fun.
It gave me a chuckle and that is my favorite kind of writing.
Thanks for this awesome post and wonderful read!
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2023
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This is awesome and eerie to read, but so intriguing,
I love it and I thought the ending to be so creative and fun.
It gave me a chuckle and that is my favorite kind of writing.
Thanks for this awesome post and wonderful read!
Comment Written 12-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2023
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Thank you so much!!
Comment from GWHARGIS
At first I thought this might be about a scorned wife. Then I thought it might be about a younger woman. I had no idea it was about a woman who is envious of her youthful and innocent past. This was a clever rendition of an age old emotion. Gretchen
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2023
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At first I thought this might be about a scorned wife. Then I thought it might be about a younger woman. I had no idea it was about a woman who is envious of her youthful and innocent past. This was a clever rendition of an age old emotion. Gretchen
Comment Written 11-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2023
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Thank you so much! Appreciate your review.
Comment from Mintybee
This is a poem that resonates with me. It's an unique take on jealousy, but I think we've all, at some point, been a bit envious of our pre-trauma, or pre-disillusionment, or pre-heartache selves. The poem hits on a few emotions. Envy is obviously strongly represented, but there's pity for what she'll become, and bitterness, and sorrow there too. I like it. I hope you do well in the contest.
Mintybee
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2023
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This is a poem that resonates with me. It's an unique take on jealousy, but I think we've all, at some point, been a bit envious of our pre-trauma, or pre-disillusionment, or pre-heartache selves. The poem hits on a few emotions. Envy is obviously strongly represented, but there's pity for what she'll become, and bitterness, and sorrow there too. I like it. I hope you do well in the contest.
Mintybee
Comment Written 11-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2023
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Thank you so much for your review- and "getting" this piece.. it means so much to me!
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Sugg: change this barely legible font lest it repel readers. It detracts from the compelling, sobering story you relate. This powerful piece deserves to shine unobstructed.
typo: endure what most can't [bare=>bear]
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2023
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Sugg: change this barely legible font lest it repel readers. It detracts from the compelling, sobering story you relate. This powerful piece deserves to shine unobstructed.
typo: endure what most can't [bare=>bear]
Comment Written 11-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2023
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I am beyond grateful- As per your suggestion, I changed the font. I think you were spot on with that. I fixed that typo (eek), as well. I thank you for your truly valued feedback!!
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Stunning--now I can truly appreciate the brilliant poem. Startling punchline reminds me of a thriller I read with this twist!
