Stare
A poem of deep rooted jealousy32 total reviews
Comment from Paul McFarland
Nicely done, Jessica. The rhyme and meter are good, but I'm not sure that I get the full picture. Is she jealous of a previous, more happy, time in her life?
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2023
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Nicely done, Jessica. The rhyme and meter are good, but I'm not sure that I get the full picture. Is she jealous of a previous, more happy, time in her life?
Comment Written 17-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2023
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Thank you so much! That is correct, however, her jealousy and envy are geared more towards her "untainted" (so to speak) younger self. I intended for there to be an implied feeling of struggle between pity and resentment toward her youth and innocence.
Comment from nomi338
I would hesitate to call myself overly perceptive, but near the end of your excellent and provocative poem, I started to think you were talking about yourself. I was so pleased to discover I was correct. Pleased but by no means disappointed. This poem deserves and has truly earned its "All Time Best" rating. I wish I could award six stars, but alas, I have none left.
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2023
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I would hesitate to call myself overly perceptive, but near the end of your excellent and provocative poem, I started to think you were talking about yourself. I was so pleased to discover I was correct. Pleased but by no means disappointed. This poem deserves and has truly earned its "All Time Best" rating. I wish I could award six stars, but alas, I have none left.
Comment Written 17-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2023
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I am so grateful for your review and kind words! I?m thrilled to hear you started to suspect the twist - I?d say you are incredibly perceptive.. No hesitation!
Thank you!
Jessica
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You are a gifted writer, I will be on the lookout for your next post. Hopefully I will have at least one six star award left over.
Comment from Janet Foor
Jealousy is the green eyed monster that plagues many people. A very destructive emotion. You described the feeling well.
Blessings and good luck in the contest.
Janet
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2023
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Jealousy is the green eyed monster that plagues many people. A very destructive emotion. You described the feeling well.
Blessings and good luck in the contest.
Janet
Comment Written 17-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2023
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Thank you, Janet! Much appreciated.
Comment from rjuselius
This is a fine entry for this particular contest dear jessica! I disagree with the sentiment but your words do hit a punch.
Thank you for sharing!
Good luck!
Blessings with hugs and kisses,
Rebekka x
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2023
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This is a fine entry for this particular contest dear jessica! I disagree with the sentiment but your words do hit a punch.
Thank you for sharing!
Good luck!
Blessings with hugs and kisses,
Rebekka x
Comment Written 17-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2023
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Thank you, Rebekka!
<3
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My pleasure entirely dear friend <3
Comment from June Sargent
What a powerful indictment against the destructive power of jealousy. The bitterness will ultimately eat away at one's soul until we become an empty shell. And then our world will cave in - losing any chance of finding paradise ourselves.
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2023
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What a powerful indictment against the destructive power of jealousy. The bitterness will ultimately eat away at one's soul until we become an empty shell. And then our world will cave in - losing any chance of finding paradise ourselves.
Comment Written 17-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2023
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Thank you so much! I agree completely. :)
Jess
Comment from jake cosmos aller
very powerful and moving poem about jealousy, looking at another potential victim of an abusive boyfriend, staring at her with both jealousy, hatred and pity for a woman who is soon to join you as a victim of her ex boyfriend.
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2023
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very powerful and moving poem about jealousy, looking at another potential victim of an abusive boyfriend, staring at her with both jealousy, hatred and pity for a woman who is soon to join you as a victim of her ex boyfriend.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2023
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Thank you! I appreciate your review :)
Comment from Sarah Das Gupta
A skilfully written and witty poem that hides its secret until the end! This is an usual way of approaching the subject of jealousy. Yet when we look back into the past, we do almost resent the innocent we used to be!
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2023
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A skilfully written and witty poem that hides its secret until the end! This is an usual way of approaching the subject of jealousy. Yet when we look back into the past, we do almost resent the innocent we used to be!
Comment Written 16-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2023
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Thanks so much for your feedback! :)
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Best wishes!
Comment from Nicki Nance
This deep self-exploration and disclosure captured the deep experience of the writer. I was a little thrown off when you switched from jealousy to envy. The final disclosure was redemption.
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2023
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This deep self-exploration and disclosure captured the deep experience of the writer. I was a little thrown off when you switched from jealousy to envy. The final disclosure was redemption.
Comment Written 15-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2023
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Thank you so much for your review. Your final sentence is so important to me- the use of envy alongside jealousy when describing how the woman feels is an intended attempt to explain her struggle between resentment and pity towards her youth- when she was innocent and obliviouss. The painful and detrimental trauma she ultimately endured turned her bitter. The picture of her younger self provokes an impossible desire- while able to appreciate the bliss of her former ignorance, a longing to be cleansed of her poisonous trauma is revealed. The point of my rant (sorry) is to say I appreciate your understanding; it wasn't as clear to some.
Comment from Rachel Jamerson1
Interesting choice of words. These words could also represent life for the journey not only goes happy joyful times but also through the difficult and hurtful times.
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2023
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Interesting choice of words. These words could also represent life for the journey not only goes happy joyful times but also through the difficult and hurtful times.
Comment Written 15-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2023
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Thank you so much for your review- I value your comment and feedback!
Comment from royowen
I think I like the word envy rather that jealousy, that word emits tones of malevolence. This is beautifully written, with a great a backstory and a great direction for the narrative, giving a great clothing for the articulate work, good luck well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2023
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I think I like the word envy rather that jealousy, that word emits tones of malevolence. This is beautifully written, with a great a backstory and a great direction for the narrative, giving a great clothing for the articulate work, good luck well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 12-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2023
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Thank you, Roy! I appreciate that so much. Having just joined a couple of weeks ago, I?m a bit of an amateur. In fact, this was the first contest I?ve been a part of! I am overwhelmed by the support and encouragement given by all of you brilliant writers. Thank you :)
Jessica
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Well done
