Comment from eliz100

Excellent

This is an excellent chapter. Ali comes across as a very competent lawyer, as usual. I cannot wait to see what is bothering her. I do not see any need for improvement. Have a blessed day.

 Comment Written 09-Feb-2023

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reply by the author on 10-Feb-2023

We'll find out on Valentines Day what's bothering Ali. Thank you for the kind review.

Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)

Good

I felt bad that te statement
Something's bothering her. What?
was never explicitly explained. Also, you have inconsistencies in this one. Ali gets permission to approach the bench, then in the next breath says "Your Honor, may I approach the bench?"

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 Comment Written 09-Feb-2023

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reply by the author on 10-Feb-2023

We'll find out what's bothering Ali in my next post. This was NOT a complete chapter. As for your second suggestion. I couldn't find it in this post. There were multiple times Ali approached the judge but each one had different papers. Thank you for the kind review.

Comment from Jay Squires

Excellent

Well, you warned me it would be posted late in the week, and try though I did, I couldn't hold onto a slippery six. Sorry, Barbara! This was a short one, but it set the stage for the rest of the trial. Pat has nowhere to turn that won't wreak havock for him. All brought on by himself. Good chapter.
Jay

 Comment Written 09-Feb-2023

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reply by the author on 10-Feb-2023

Thank you for the kind review.

Comment from Elizabeth Emerald

Excellent

I love it! Nail the monster--balls to the wall. Fabulous courtroom scene--given the circumstances, the details of the judgment come across as entirely appropriate.

 Comment Written 09-Feb-2023

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reply by the author on 10-Feb-2023

Thank you for the kind review.

Comment from Wayne Fowler

Excellent

Very good movement. The judge might be a bit one-sided, accepting letters and affidavits as proof, but it's fiction. He'll do whatever you tell him to. lol
Best wishes.

 Comment Written 09-Feb-2023

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reply by the author on 10-Feb-2023

Thank you for the kind review. It falls under suspension of disbelief. LOL

Comment from Jim Wile

Excellent

Another exciting chapter, Barbara. I love these courtroom chapters, watching the villains get their due (well, Pat will eventually after the DNA test I'm guessing.) He certainly is a bad actor! Good writing.

Just a few small mistakes:

"A little nausea and tired but not bad." should be nauseous (nausea is a noun)

"Before we start." He glared at Pat. "I suggest Mr. Rogers remains silent.

This should be punctuated: "Before we start," he glared at Pat, "I suggest Mr. Rogers remain silent."

On the same line, notice also that "remains" should be "remain" because the implied meaning of the sentence is: I suggest that you, Mr. Rogers, remain silent."

Similarly, in the line:

"We're asking Mr. Rogers pays her prenatal care and delivery costs."

this should be:

"We're asking Mr. Rogers pay her prenatal care and delivery costs." (pay instead of pays).

 Comment Written 09-Feb-2023

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reply by the author on 10-Feb-2023

Thank you for the nauseous. I didn't know that. The next one could be either way, because there's not a speech tag, but I think it reads better your way. So I changed it. As for the to there two, remains and pays are singular verbs and the noun is singular so they're correct. Thank you for the help. I always appreciate it. It caused me to go back and check things out. That's always good.

reply by Jim Wile on 10-Feb-2023

Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

Whew! That was fast and definitive. I wonder what Cord is worried about. I'm impressed that Ali knew to get a statement from the diner's owner beforehand! Smart lady!

Comments:
Mr. Rogers forced himself on her (comma after her as it precedes a conjunction before a complete sentence)

" After getting permission to approach the bench," was in the previous paragraph before this "Your Honor, may I approach the bench?" I thought she was already at the bench in the previous paragraph.

"No Sir." (No, Sir.)

 Comment Written 09-Feb-2023

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reply by the author on 10-Feb-2023

You're correct about her approaching the bench, but it's two different times with two different papers. I have put in and taken out that comma numerous times. I'll leave it in this time. I think it confuses people because it's only two words. Thank you for help. I appreciate it.

reply by lyenochka on 10-Feb-2023

Okay! Thanks for clarifying! 💖

Comment from Pam Lonsdale

Excellent

As his attorney you MAY speak for him.

I just noticed they are Mr. Brown and Ms. Black. Planned?

A short chapter this time, but lots of decisions made by the judge. I can only imagine that this day in court is going to provoke Rogers to do something that will get him into hotter water; hopefully, no one is seriously injured because of it.

I wonder what's with Ali dropping Cord's hand like she did.

Good chapter, Barbara.

Pam

 Comment Written 09-Feb-2023

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reply by the author on 09-Feb-2023

Thank you for the catch. I appreciate the help. We'll find out in the next post what is going on with Ali. It will be posted on Valentines Day.

Comment from Anne Johnston

Excellent

Thank you for sharing this chapter, still leaving us in suspense. If you only have two more postings, I am sure they will be exciting and full of answers to all our questions.

 Comment Written 09-Feb-2023

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reply by the author on 09-Feb-2023

Thank you for your wonderful support.

reply by Anne Johnston on 09-Feb-2023

You are welcome, Barbara

Comment from Rdfrdmom2

Excellent

barbara:

Another well-written, realistic chapter for this novel. My sister-in-law was a Commonwealth Attorney. I assure you no one wanted to be on her bad side. Looking forward to your next chapter.

Jan

 Comment Written 09-Feb-2023

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reply by the author on 09-Feb-2023

Thank you for the kind review.