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A Poetic Pause

Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "The Soul Battle"
First Poems

8 total reviews 
Comment from karenina
Excellent
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Hi. I reviewed your latest and thought I'd come to see your other posts! This one (I can see from previous reviews) has morphed to a lighter background and/or darker font. (This is a problem many of us had when we first came here and it takes a bit of time to get used to all the variations of color, font style, font size, etc,)

The struggles of the human soul comes through. I think, perhaps, in correcting, "wraiths" became "wriths" ~ that's an easy edit. (smile)

This is an esoteric free verse that allows each reader to layer their personal interpreatation on the greater theme.

Well done.

Karenina

 Comment Written 08-Mar-2023


reply by the author on 08-Mar-2023
    Good point thankyou I'll go ahead and change that word right now. I appreciate you looking through thank you hope you have a great day!
reply by karenina on 09-Mar-2023
    Easy edit....welcome to the wonderful world of "dropped letters!"

Comment from Liz O'Neill
Excellent
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Your literary technique of alliteration with the s's becomes onomatopoetic. The chosen words with s's effect the sound of air escaping, creating the image of a person losing their spunk. Or idea of fading. Well done. If you would like the link for figures of speech or literary techniques, just let me know.

 Comment Written 21-Feb-2023


reply by the author on 21-Feb-2023
    Thank you Liz for that great review and your insightful words its greatly appreciate it! I would totally love to see that Link I think would be very helpful! Thank you so much again I hope you have a fabulous evening that was great!!
reply by Liz O'Neill on 22-Feb-2023
    http://writtensound.com/index.php
    ******
    https://literary-devices.com/

    **********
    https://literarydevices.net/figure-of-speech/
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2023
    Ty!
reply by Liz O'Neill on 22-Feb-2023
    You're welcome
Comment from Frank Malley
Good
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This poem, "The Soul Battle," is damaged by arcane word choices. If "wraith's" is to be used as a verb, there should be no apostrophe. If it's a noun, the sentence doesn't make sense. There seem to be a missing article before "shrug." While novely permits some large experimentation, this poem is just confusing because it loves words more than sense.

 Comment Written 12-Feb-2023


reply by the author on 12-Feb-2023
    Thx..
reply by Frank Malley on 12-Feb-2023
    I apologize. My review sounds cruel.
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2023
    Thank you....have a good day
reply by Frank Malley on 13-Feb-2023
    Be well, Lea. Frank
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2023
    You too!
Comment from patcelaw
Excellent
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I am unable to read the words that you have presented here, however, I am able to listen to them. If you would change your font color to a darker color on the post, then it would show up for people who have visual impairments to be able to read. Patricia

 Comment Written 10-Feb-2023


reply by the author on 10-Feb-2023
    Yes thank you so much for your comments I have corrected it does look a little bit d*** for sure thank you much for your taking your time to answer and supply some good advice I hope you have a wonderful end fantastic day!
reply by patcelaw on 10-Feb-2023
    It does look much better.
Comment from giraffmang
Good
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HI there,

Maybe have a little look at your presentation here. The background and font colours are bleeding together so much that the words are barely readable.

with cruelty wraith's the mother- not sure you need the apostrophe here.


 Comment Written 10-Feb-2023


reply by the author on 10-Feb-2023
    Thank you so much for pointing that out I have scratched your feedback I hope you have a wonderful day!
Comment from jessizero
Excellent
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Congratulations on your first milestone post!
Your font color doesn't stand out against the background too much, making this poem hard to read.
However, I copied and pasted it so I could read it, and it was beautiful. Thanks for sharing, and best wishes to you.

 Comment Written 09-Feb-2023


reply by the author on 10-Feb-2023
    Thank you so much for your response I have in fact changed the font to make it more legible appreciate your feedback hope you have a wonderful day!
reply by jessizero on 10-Feb-2023
    I'm glad I could help. Your poem looks great. :)
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2023
    Thx again!
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2023
    Thx again!
Comment from Ricky1024
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This milestone entitled,
"The Soul Battle" was well written rich in Theme and Imagery.
It also, read well and Flowed well with no Grammar Issues.
...
My Complete Synopsis:
The Adjective and Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional while Descriptive Measures aligned Perfectly.
Thanks for sharing this and have a great day.
Doctor Ricky 1024

 Comment Written 09-Feb-2023


reply by the author on 10-Feb-2023
    Thank you so much for your comments I really appreciate it I hesitated for a long time to submit anything I wasn't sure it was any good or not but my friend encouraged me and here we are thank you so much I appreciate your support and I hope you have a wonderful day!
Comment from JT traveller
Excellent
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Excellent poem. Congratulations on your first milestone post and welcome.

I loved this line,

"...wraith's the mother that weeps..."

An enjoyable read.

 Comment Written 09-Feb-2023


reply by the author on 10-Feb-2023
    Thank you so much I'm so glad you liked it appreciate your comments and all your feedback and I hope you have an awesome and wonderful day!
reply by JT traveller on 10-Feb-2023
    😊👍