Balloons
Octelle18 total reviews
Comment from w.j.debi
You create a fun image and make me want to go fly in a balloon. I bet the birds are confused by the entry of a basket full of people floating in the air. I'd never considered that before.
You've followed the form well and created an enjoyable read.
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2023
You create a fun image and make me want to go fly in a balloon. I bet the birds are confused by the entry of a basket full of people floating in the air. I'd never considered that before.
You've followed the form well and created an enjoyable read.
Comment Written 09-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2023
-
Thank you very much.
Comment from JT traveller
What a dreamy, sentimental poem that flows. Your writing compels the reader to vivid heights of imagination. Pardon the pun.
Your poem took me back to Myanmar and taking early morning hot air balloon rides.
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2023
What a dreamy, sentimental poem that flows. Your writing compels the reader to vivid heights of imagination. Pardon the pun.
Your poem took me back to Myanmar and taking early morning hot air balloon rides.
Comment Written 08-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2023
-
Thank you .I am glad You could take a trip down the memory lane
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Nice image and presentation, Sanku.
-You did a good job with the form and topic.
-Effective imagery, rhyme, and repeating lines.
-You paint a good word picture of a hot air balloon ride.
-I like the line about thrilling them with our acumen.
-I was wondering if a synonym for 'lug' might be better;
lug has the connotation of pulling cargo. Just a thought.
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2023
-Nice image and presentation, Sanku.
-You did a good job with the form and topic.
-Effective imagery, rhyme, and repeating lines.
-You paint a good word picture of a hot air balloon ride.
-I like the line about thrilling them with our acumen.
-I was wondering if a synonym for 'lug' might be better;
lug has the connotation of pulling cargo. Just a thought.
Comment Written 08-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2023
-
Thank you very much.true 'lug' goes with cargo and gives a demeaning sense. I was concerned about the syllables.
-
You are welcome and thanks for sharing in your reply.
Comment from jake cosmos aller
loved this poem about balloon rides. reminds me of one of my own. I would have taken it a different direction, writing about the recent Chinese ballon case for example.
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2023
loved this poem about balloon rides. reminds me of one of my own. I would have taken it a different direction, writing about the recent Chinese ballon case for example.
Comment Written 08-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2023
-
You were the one of the two to catch that chinese balloon connection.IT prompted me to write this.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Your club poem was interesting, Sanku. I enjoyed reading it.
The art choice was a good pairing, and your rhymes worked
well.I liked the personification and the story. It seemed to me
the balloon wasn't too happy with its job of lugging humans.
Yes, snooping balloons are unwelcome. I would lighten the
background and enlarge the font. Your words could be in a
color or even black.
Hot-aired we lug humans--this line has only 6 syllables needs 7.
Thanks for participating, Jan
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2023
Your club poem was interesting, Sanku. I enjoyed reading it.
The art choice was a good pairing, and your rhymes worked
well.I liked the personification and the story. It seemed to me
the balloon wasn't too happy with its job of lugging humans.
Yes, snooping balloons are unwelcome. I would lighten the
background and enlarge the font. Your words could be in a
color or even black.
Hot-aired we lug humans--this line has only 6 syllables needs 7.
Thanks for participating, Jan
Comment Written 08-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2023
-
Oh 'lug' was not a good choice since it denotes unwillingness .But it suited the rhyme scheme.Thank you very much for your insightful comments.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Excellent Octelle for potlatch about riding a hot air balloon. Reminds me of the China spy air balloon ...lol. it's funny.
the structure makes sense, it draws on emotions and it presents strong images.
I Would recommend it.
Gypsy
"Poetry heals the wounds inflicted by reason" -- Novalis
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2023
Excellent Octelle for potlatch about riding a hot air balloon. Reminds me of the China spy air balloon ...lol. it's funny.
the structure makes sense, it draws on emotions and it presents strong images.
I Would recommend it.
Gypsy
"Poetry heals the wounds inflicted by reason" -- Novalis
Comment Written 08-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2023
-
Thank you very much .the Chinese balloon prompted me to write This.( you were one of the two who caught that connection...balloons denotes fun and colour and that it is now become a spying mode ....
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
A ballon ride enjoyed here and you made me smile as you mention Bedlam as I doubt the Americans will have heard of that famous mental hospital! Well chosen words, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2023
A ballon ride enjoyed here and you made me smile as you mention Bedlam as I doubt the Americans will have heard of that famous mental hospital! Well chosen words, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
Comment Written 08-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2023
-
Thank you very much
Comment from GWHARGIS
I've always loved seeing hot air balloons. Used to be on my bucket list but now I've heard too many stories. But I still love to watch them. The rhythm of your poem was flawless. I liked the colored background as well. Went perfect with the chosen picture. Great job. Gretchen
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2023
I've always loved seeing hot air balloons. Used to be on my bucket list but now I've heard too many stories. But I still love to watch them. The rhythm of your poem was flawless. I liked the colored background as well. Went perfect with the chosen picture. Great job. Gretchen
Comment Written 08-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2023
-
Thank you very much.
Comment from lyenochka
You met the form well and I really liked "multi-hued joy" as that's what those hot air balloons really look like. It has been on my bucket list but hubby is scared of heights.
Suggestion:
A darker font color and bigger letters or lighter background color would make it easier to read.
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2023
You met the form well and I really liked "multi-hued joy" as that's what those hot air balloons really look like. It has been on my bucket list but hubby is scared of heights.
Suggestion:
A darker font color and bigger letters or lighter background color would make it easier to read.
Comment Written 08-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2023
-
Thank you very much Helen. I am sorry i am late in my reply .I am gettng the house painted .So the next one week is going to be a bit stressed out...
-
Hope the house painting goes well and you really like the end result! 💞🙏
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
This is an interesting Octelle poem, which relies hevily on the richness of the hot air balloon. The personification of this flying machine comes across vividly. kay
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2023
This is an interesting Octelle poem, which relies hevily on the richness of the hot air balloon. The personification of this flying machine comes across vividly. kay
Comment Written 08-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2023
-
Thank you very much.