The Watcher
patience13 total reviews
Comment from karenina
Oh! Well, this gave me the willies! Nice flash that lit the fire and fanned it to a flame right quick! Kind of makes me wish all those "bad guys" got the "Doberman Welcome." I arrived late ~ but congratulations on third place!
Karenina
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2023
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Oh! Well, this gave me the willies! Nice flash that lit the fire and fanned it to a flame right quick! Kind of makes me wish all those "bad guys" got the "Doberman Welcome." I arrived late ~ but congratulations on third place!
Karenina
Comment Written 09-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2023
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Thank you ma'am! I appreciate your reading it!
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My pleasure. And how the devil dog was I not your fan? I've corrected that error! :)
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
This is a good smart dog story. He sensed something was wrong and was prepared for it. There is a lot of story in very few words. Too bad people aren't as sensitive as Dobermans.
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2023
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This is a good smart dog story. He sensed something was wrong and was prepared for it. There is a lot of story in very few words. Too bad people aren't as sensitive as Dobermans.
Comment Written 04-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2023
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Thanks, Carol. Another word for sensitive (in this case) is smart. (Too bad people aren't as ...)
Comment from lyenochka
Great job telling this flash fiction from the Doberman's perspective. We don't know anything about Jake except that he's on alert and keeping guard. Best wishes in the contest!
Comment:
In the paragraph starting with "Sure enough, a little later," since both the man and Jake are male, it was a little confusing upon my first reading to know which "he'' was which.
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2023
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Great job telling this flash fiction from the Doberman's perspective. We don't know anything about Jake except that he's on alert and keeping guard. Best wishes in the contest!
Comment:
In the paragraph starting with "Sure enough, a little later," since both the man and Jake are male, it was a little confusing upon my first reading to know which "he'' was which.
Comment Written 03-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2023
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thanks, will fix it.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
You did a great job with your contest entry, Pome Lover.
Your entry was filled with intrigue and action. Your words
painted a great picture for readers. I could see everything
as I read. You led me to believe Jake was the owner of the
house. Great twist having him be a watchdog.
Thanks for sharing and best wishes in the contest, Jan
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2023
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You did a great job with your contest entry, Pome Lover.
Your entry was filled with intrigue and action. Your words
painted a great picture for readers. I could see everything
as I read. You led me to believe Jake was the owner of the
house. Great twist having him be a watchdog.
Thanks for sharing and best wishes in the contest, Jan
Comment Written 03-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2023
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Thanks so much, Jan for your neat comments. I'm glad I surprised you.
Comment from Anne Johnston
Your flash fiction story is well done. It builds up to a climax, and shows us what is happening rather than telling. Then what a great surprise ending -
Jake is a dog.
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2023
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Your flash fiction story is well done. It builds up to a climax, and shows us what is happening rather than telling. Then what a great surprise ending -
Jake is a dog.
Comment Written 03-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2023
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thank you so much
Comment from judiverse
Oh, I love the ending of this. You did a great job leading up to the surprise. This dog has been in the military, so he's on the alert just as he's been trained. The Doberman make great guard dogs (I remember those form Magnum, PI) but I wouldn't want to get too close to one. Best of luck in the contest with this great entry. judi
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2023
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Oh, I love the ending of this. You did a great job leading up to the surprise. This dog has been in the military, so he's on the alert just as he's been trained. The Doberman make great guard dogs (I remember those form Magnum, PI) but I wouldn't want to get too close to one. Best of luck in the contest with this great entry. judi
Comment Written 03-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2023
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thanks, Judi!!!
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You're welcome. I see you're up there in the story of the month voting. Good for you, and best of luck. judi
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thanks so much. I'm a'tryin' :)
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
Well, I never saw this coming, lol! It sounds like Jake has taken on the role of neighborhood watch dog since coming back from a war zone. I'd love to have him in my neighborhood - we'd all sleep better at night.
Great entry for this contest.
Pam
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2023
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Well, I never saw this coming, lol! It sounds like Jake has taken on the role of neighborhood watch dog since coming back from a war zone. I'd love to have him in my neighborhood - we'd all sleep better at night.
Great entry for this contest.
Pam
Comment Written 03-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2023
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thanks, Pam. yeah, I'd like for a neighbor to have him :)
Comment from Teri7
This is a really great Flash Fiction story you have penned. You had me sitting on the edge of my seat wondering about Jake and thinking he was a guy, not a dog! lol Very good job. Best wishes in the contest. Teri
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2023
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This is a really great Flash Fiction story you have penned. You had me sitting on the edge of my seat wondering about Jake and thinking he was a guy, not a dog! lol Very good job. Best wishes in the contest. Teri
Comment Written 03-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2023
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thanks, Teri. I'm so glad I fooled you! :)
Comment from eliz100
I enjoyed reading your story. It does have a surprise ending. I sure expected a man and not a dog. I do not see any room for improvement. Have a blessed day.
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2023
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I enjoyed reading your story. It does have a surprise ending. I sure expected a man and not a dog. I do not see any room for improvement. Have a blessed day.
Comment Written 03-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2023
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thanks and I'm glad it was a surprise!
Comment from Mary Shifman
This is really good. I was totally surprised that Jake turned out to be as Doberman. I thought he was a man until the very end. You did a great job with this one. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2023
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This is really good. I was totally surprised that Jake turned out to be as Doberman. I thought he was a man until the very end. You did a great job with this one. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 03-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2023
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Thank you, Mary. I hoped it would be a surprise.
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You are welcome.