Comment from jessizero

Excellent

I would have been anxious as well. You told your story well, and I liked the way you counted down the time. Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.

 Comment Written 01-Feb-2023

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reply by the author on 01-Feb-2023

Thank you for taking time to review and leave comments, my friend.

Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

Oh, Rhonda! I was thinking this was autobiographical because I remember about the farm accident. I'm so glad you wrote this, and it sounds wise to avoid listening to horrible list of bad things that could happen.
Great job with this and I really liked some of your descriptions like the IV tube "snaking" and the breath accelerating.

Suggestion:
cheated a certain serial, end of June, death,
( cheated a certain end-of-June serial death)

 Comment Written 01-Feb-2023

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reply by the author on 01-Feb-2023

Thank you for the sweet review! I thought a few might have remembered it. Fez teased me about it forever.

You?re so right about the editing. Thanks for that as well.

Comment from Sally Law

Exceptional

This is great though harrowing. Why do doctors have to terrify us? Why? The credo is: Do no harm. Terrifying a patient is harmful. I love your attention to the clock. The clock is always the witness.

Sending you my best today as always, Rhonda dear, and best wishes for the upcoming contest.
Sal XOs

 Comment Written 01-Feb-2023

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reply by the author on 01-Feb-2023

Hi Sal, I so appreciate the six stars! You?re right on terrifying people. Most as so kind, but this one was more focused on being right than kind.
Thank you for the comments on the clock. You?re right about their witness.

Hugs,
Rhonda

reply by Sally Law on 02-Feb-2023

Most welcome and deserved. Blessings,
Sal XOs

Comment from Ben Colder

Excellent

LOL. Yea I too can remember those moments. My first was also trying but really worried about nothing big. You did better than me. MY BEST TO YOU.

 Comment Written 01-Feb-2023

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reply by the author on 01-Feb-2023

Oh, I was a mess, Ben, but you?re right, I worried for nothing! Thanks for stopping by to review,
Rhonda

Comment from CrystieCookie999

Excellent

This is a realistic re-telling of a frightening experience that we all try to avoid: surgery. I thought you did a good job re-creating realistic dialogue as well. There was only a single word I tripped over, and maybe it is clear to others, but I looked at the context and still didn't get it. feeling I had cheated a certain serial, end of June, death, and an over zealous anesthesiologist.
I could not figure out what the word 'serial' referred to there. I wonder if you might try: feeling I had cheated certain death that June day as well as an over-zealous anesthesiologist.

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 Comment Written 01-Feb-2023

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reply by the author on 01-Feb-2023

Hi Crystie. Thanks for your review. I removed the word, serial, and got rid of a comma. I think it sounds much better.

Take care,
Rhonda

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

Thank you for sharing this contest entry with us. I'm surprised you were left alone. While I awaited surgery there was always a nurse and my husband in the room with me. I enjoyed reading. Good luck with the contest.

I'd lost my grandmother, the next year my father, last my father-in-law. (the following year)

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 01-Feb-2023

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reply by the author on 01-Feb-2023

Hi Barbara! Thanks for taking time to review! I?m not sure why they left me alone. I never had that happen again, but they sure did it that day.

Thanks for the edit idea. I fixed it right away.

Take care,
Rhonda