Quiet Lawyer
Viewing comments for Chapter 58 "Quiet Lawyer Chapter 28 A"Can a broken heart be mended?
40 total reviews
Comment from lancellot
Hmm, I read this while at work, I can't write reviews there (firewall). I see that you've made changes. The Bailiff's lines were cut. Good.
I'm not trying to pile on you. I've been to court hundreds of times over my career. This is wrong. Most of your court and police things are also wrong in this novel. Again, maybe none of those matters to you.
If you made those bailiff changes, then perhaps you do want accuracy. If so:
1) Why and how do we have the same judge? Sean Pickett was the judge in Alan's criminal trial (enough said about that), how then can be in family court? That's were these cases are legally held. (I know. I was in child support court.)
2)Um... where are the other members of the court?
3) Why was no one sworn in?
4) Dating?? What does that have to do with sex? (a word you seem to run from) That would never be brought up in paternity (separate phase). None of that... no prom, dress or any of that is relevant, or proving they dated. You don't have to date to impregnate a woman. I know.
5) Lester Brown stood. "Your Honor, my client would like to state to the court he isn't this child's father." No lawyer would say this, or openly present false testimony in court. He would lose his license. Be disbarred. You can show Ali is a good lawyer without making the other side a flaming idiot. You did the same thing in the criminal trial, and the deposition.
6)Also, as a corporate lawyer, Ali does everything but that.
7) "Since Mr. Rogers made no attempt to pay support plus lied to the court, he'll pay $10,000, due today before he leaves the building." Do I need to say it? If Rogers lied to the court, then he would be held in contempt or charged with perjury. Then a separate hearing or trial would be held. A Judge cannot simply penalize him by raising the amount. That's illegal in every state. You are throwing rights and procedures out the window.
8) The judge nodded. "I understand and will honor that request." What??? Now Pickett suddenly switches back to a criminal court judge, in the middle of family court. And does this... How?
9) After all the rapes. The last one happened when Ali was in the lobby. How can Roger still have a bank? I won't even ask why none of the women didn't simply go to a different bank... They are in Texas. You can get loans online or bank online.
10) Ali has been there less than two months. How in God's name are all these trials and proceedings happening this fast?
I'm sorry. You are a much better writer than this. Proper research must be done.
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2023
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Hmm, I read this while at work, I can't write reviews there (firewall). I see that you've made changes. The Bailiff's lines were cut. Good.
I'm not trying to pile on you. I've been to court hundreds of times over my career. This is wrong. Most of your court and police things are also wrong in this novel. Again, maybe none of those matters to you.
If you made those bailiff changes, then perhaps you do want accuracy. If so:
1) Why and how do we have the same judge? Sean Pickett was the judge in Alan's criminal trial (enough said about that), how then can be in family court? That's were these cases are legally held. (I know. I was in child support court.)
2)Um... where are the other members of the court?
3) Why was no one sworn in?
4) Dating?? What does that have to do with sex? (a word you seem to run from) That would never be brought up in paternity (separate phase). None of that... no prom, dress or any of that is relevant, or proving they dated. You don't have to date to impregnate a woman. I know.
5) Lester Brown stood. "Your Honor, my client would like to state to the court he isn't this child's father." No lawyer would say this, or openly present false testimony in court. He would lose his license. Be disbarred. You can show Ali is a good lawyer without making the other side a flaming idiot. You did the same thing in the criminal trial, and the deposition.
6)Also, as a corporate lawyer, Ali does everything but that.
7) "Since Mr. Rogers made no attempt to pay support plus lied to the court, he'll pay $10,000, due today before he leaves the building." Do I need to say it? If Rogers lied to the court, then he would be held in contempt or charged with perjury. Then a separate hearing or trial would be held. A Judge cannot simply penalize him by raising the amount. That's illegal in every state. You are throwing rights and procedures out the window.
8) The judge nodded. "I understand and will honor that request." What??? Now Pickett suddenly switches back to a criminal court judge, in the middle of family court. And does this... How?
9) After all the rapes. The last one happened when Ali was in the lobby. How can Roger still have a bank? I won't even ask why none of the women didn't simply go to a different bank... They are in Texas. You can get loans online or bank online.
10) Ali has been there less than two months. How in God's name are all these trials and proceedings happening this fast?
I'm sorry. You are a much better writer than this. Proper research must be done.
Comment Written 30-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2023
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I have already stated there is only one judge. We are NOT in Chicago. The town I live in right this very minute only has one judge. Thank you for the kind review.
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It doesn't work like that in the United states. There are no Chicago judges.
Judges aren't assigned to towns. You should have district, county, or circuit judges in Texas. Judges CANNOT jump from from criminal to family court in Texas or any state.
Look, in your town if you commit a felony. You will go to district court for your criminal case. You will be charged by the state. Then if you are in child support dispute, you will go to county family court. They do not overlap. They cannot, so what your judge did. That is illegal and unconstitutional. Just like you don't have states attorney or DA in your story's criminal court. That is unconstitutional, even in Texas.
But, you can write what you want. Have Ali's parents be prosecutors, have your bailiff announces cases, have trials is four days. have all your male lawyers be idiots. It's your book and this is how FanStory is these days.
I won't point any more issues.
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I live two houses down from our only judge.
Comment from judiverse
Ali has her all her ducks in a row. She really has the evidence against Rogers. He keeps trying to weasel out, even with the evidence against him. The fact that Cord could prove he was at the rodeo and couldn't possibly have been at the prom is good evidence. I think Ali's reasoning was good. If Pat was in prison, he wouldn't be able to provide the support he's supposed to. Wonder if having Rogers see his son will have any impression on him. Excellent work on the legal details. judi
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2023
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Ali has her all her ducks in a row. She really has the evidence against Rogers. He keeps trying to weasel out, even with the evidence against him. The fact that Cord could prove he was at the rodeo and couldn't possibly have been at the prom is good evidence. I think Ali's reasoning was good. If Pat was in prison, he wouldn't be able to provide the support he's supposed to. Wonder if having Rogers see his son will have any impression on him. Excellent work on the legal details. judi
Comment Written 30-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2023
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Thank you for the kind review.
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You're welcome. Another great chapter. judi
Comment from Jim Wile
I liked this chapter. It's nice to see bad guys get their just desserts.
I also liked how the judge said, "So, I'll get to watch her in court again?" It's clear he really likes her and will probably love having her live in his district and presiding over her trials once she marries Cord.
This chapter was fun.
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2023
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I liked this chapter. It's nice to see bad guys get their just desserts.
I also liked how the judge said, "So, I'll get to watch her in court again?" It's clear he really likes her and will probably love having her live in his district and presiding over her trials once she marries Cord.
This chapter was fun.
Comment Written 30-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2023
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Excellent plot movement. Nicely written. Good work.
Ali is the hero.
And the wedding bells are getting wound up. Get ready to strike up the band!
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2023
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Excellent plot movement. Nicely written. Good work.
Ali is the hero.
And the wedding bells are getting wound up. Get ready to strike up the band!
Best wishes.
Comment Written 30-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2023
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Ric Myworld
It's always nice when the good guys and gals win, and especially when they get more than they are even asking for. LOL. Thanks for sharing another fine chapter.
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2023
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It's always nice when the good guys and gals win, and especially when they get more than they are even asking for. LOL. Thanks for sharing another fine chapter.
Comment Written 30-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2023
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Karyn2
Barbara, another satisfying addition to your story. I enjoyed reading how the evidence mounted up and the feeling of eye-rolling in the court room as Pat so daftly stepped in to one mess after another.
I couple of little things for you to take or leave. As the court room is concerned with "dates" and timing of events sometimes your use of the word "dates" in reference to a romantic date had me momentarily confused. In these two sentences I confused momentarily which type of "date" you intended and then had to back track and reread: "Your Honour we're not supposed to another DNA test if necessary. I feel I can prove they did date.."
"I have placed coloured tabs on the pages indicating documented dates..."
Perhaps one or tow words in each sentence to help the reader along to understand which "date" is meant, might help when reading the fast paced nature of courtroom dialogue and events.
As I say, just an idea!
Great writing!
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2023
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Barbara, another satisfying addition to your story. I enjoyed reading how the evidence mounted up and the feeling of eye-rolling in the court room as Pat so daftly stepped in to one mess after another.
I couple of little things for you to take or leave. As the court room is concerned with "dates" and timing of events sometimes your use of the word "dates" in reference to a romantic date had me momentarily confused. In these two sentences I confused momentarily which type of "date" you intended and then had to back track and reread: "Your Honour we're not supposed to another DNA test if necessary. I feel I can prove they did date.."
"I have placed coloured tabs on the pages indicating documented dates..."
Perhaps one or tow words in each sentence to help the reader along to understand which "date" is meant, might help when reading the fast paced nature of courtroom dialogue and events.
As I say, just an idea!
Great writing!
Comment Written 30-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2023
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Thank you for the idea. I will take that into consideration. I see what you mean.
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No worries! Sorry too for all my typos in my reply! The reply window is so small to view it?s hard to re check what I have written!
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Amy's child support trial sounds believable. Im glad she is getting some justice. I remember my own divorce in court, it was awful.
You are writing your chapters in a clear manner that helps the reader folow the plot from chapter to chapter easily.
I'm sorry your publisher died.
Gypsy hugs
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2023
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Amy's child support trial sounds believable. Im glad she is getting some justice. I remember my own divorce in court, it was awful.
You are writing your chapters in a clear manner that helps the reader folow the plot from chapter to chapter easily.
I'm sorry your publisher died.
Gypsy hugs
Comment Written 30-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2023
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from estory
A methodically transpiring court scene in which Alex handles herself with perfect aplomb and professionalism contrasting with the inappropriate, desperate outbursts of Rogers comes off here with the usual polish; crisp dialogue, nice tension between antagonists. The dialogue really carries the day in this post. estory
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2023
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A methodically transpiring court scene in which Alex handles herself with perfect aplomb and professionalism contrasting with the inappropriate, desperate outbursts of Rogers comes off here with the usual polish; crisp dialogue, nice tension between antagonists. The dialogue really carries the day in this post. estory
Comment Written 30-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2023
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from BethShelby
Ali had her proof in order and all the denying in the world on Rogers part wasn't convincing anyone he wasn't lying. You must have don't a lot of recearch to get you facts right on all of this. You tell a great story.
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2023
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Ali had her proof in order and all the denying in the world on Rogers part wasn't convincing anyone he wasn't lying. You must have don't a lot of recearch to get you facts right on all of this. You tell a great story.
Comment Written 30-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2023
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Thank you for the kind review. I do a lot of research.
Comment from Sankey
So glad you turned up. You had me worried.
Another excellent chapter. I love court cases. Only been in court twice. Once on a minor littering charge( in my book) and to be sworn in as a JP.
One "Evil Eddy" mess up.
you'll find a 10�¢?"11-digit code.
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2023
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So glad you turned up. You had me worried.
Another excellent chapter. I love court cases. Only been in court twice. Once on a minor littering charge( in my book) and to be sworn in as a JP.
One "Evil Eddy" mess up.
you'll find a 10�¢?"11-digit code.
Comment Written 30-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2023
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I know he messed up that area. I'm not going to worry about it. Thank you for the kind review. I'll post again on 2/4/23.
