When did I lose you?
A short story of loss37 total reviews
Comment from Nichola
This piece is so sincere and heartbreaking. It seems to me that the main character is asking God where he was, when the children were so tragically lost. The repeated questions throughout the piece express a desperate pleading for an answer, any answer for closure. But, no answer is given.
The piece ends with the same question as at the beginning, which flows very nicely. Also, your words express the lost and inconsolable nature of the main character's state.
I really like the way your fiction is written. It comes across as a poem to me. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2023
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This piece is so sincere and heartbreaking. It seems to me that the main character is asking God where he was, when the children were so tragically lost. The repeated questions throughout the piece express a desperate pleading for an answer, any answer for closure. But, no answer is given.
The piece ends with the same question as at the beginning, which flows very nicely. Also, your words express the lost and inconsolable nature of the main character's state.
I really like the way your fiction is written. It comes across as a poem to me. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 26-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2023
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Thank you. I think I was feeling down in the dumps when I wrote that piece. I do sometimes ask, "Where are You?" I did lose two sons and wondered why God could let such a thing happen.
Comment from GWHARGIS
First, I'm sorry for your losses. That would be hard to maintain your faith. If ever there was a time to ask those questions of where are you, the subsequent losses of children would be it. This may have been flash fiction but it was quite realistic to read. Great job. Good luck in the contest. Gretchen
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2023
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First, I'm sorry for your losses. That would be hard to maintain your faith. If ever there was a time to ask those questions of where are you, the subsequent losses of children would be it. This may have been flash fiction but it was quite realistic to read. Great job. Good luck in the contest. Gretchen
Comment Written 15-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2023
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Thank you. The loss of my sons inspired this writing. I didn't lose faith, but I can see where some might in the same situation.
Comment from amahra
This is my second time reading this, and for the life of me, don't know why I hadn't reviewed it. Anyway, I liked the truthfulness of this writing. And I'm so sorry for your loss. (I read your Author's Notes)
People often ask God that question, and I often think, well where did you put Him? People are often quick to put God on the shelf when they don't want to include Him in certain parts of their decision-makings. But when 'all Hell breaks loose' in their lives, they wonder where He is.
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2023
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This is my second time reading this, and for the life of me, don't know why I hadn't reviewed it. Anyway, I liked the truthfulness of this writing. And I'm so sorry for your loss. (I read your Author's Notes)
People often ask God that question, and I often think, well where did you put Him? People are often quick to put God on the shelf when they don't want to include Him in certain parts of their decision-makings. But when 'all Hell breaks loose' in their lives, they wonder where He is.
Comment Written 15-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2023
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Thank you. Yes, the loss of my sons inspired this story. I got to thinking that maybe some people would wonder where God was when they needed him.
Comment from Sanku
At times of extreme adversity one is bound to feel the way the persona felt in this story.The writing is intensely emotional and so true to life ..WE often ask the question 'where are you"
very touching.
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2023
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At times of extreme adversity one is bound to feel the way the persona felt in this story.The writing is intensely emotional and so true to life ..WE often ask the question 'where are you"
very touching.
Comment Written 15-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2023
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Thank you. I think a lot of folks sometimes wonder where God was when they needed him.
Comment from Douglas Goff
Great piece of work! One of the greatest mysteries of the known universe.
Sometimes it seems like this world of 8 billion is so very lonely.
Thank you for sharing!
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2023
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Great piece of work! One of the greatest mysteries of the known universe.
Sometimes it seems like this world of 8 billion is so very lonely.
Thank you for sharing!
Comment Written 14-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2023
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Thank you. I agree; this world is a lonely place. We are supposed to be one with the world but I never felt that way.
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I hope being on here helps with that. A lot of us on this site are quite found of you, including me. Grab grays on winning my contest by the way. Yours was the best, I knew it the second I read it. Stay strong, my friend.
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Thank you. So, that was your contest. Nice going.
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Thanks. I think it was a fun one!
Comment from country ranch writer
So sorry your sons died for one reason or another, death is hard to take no matter what happens in the wake of it all. No one knows the story behind them all so it's hard or them to judge another for being there or not though I think they should be for whatever reason at the times of death taking place.sorry for your losses.
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2023
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So sorry your sons died for one reason or another, death is hard to take no matter what happens in the wake of it all. No one knows the story behind them all so it's hard or them to judge another for being there or not though I think they should be for whatever reason at the times of death taking place.sorry for your losses.
Comment Written 14-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2023
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Thank you. The story is fiction. I lost my sons but not my faith. One might feel this way in the same situation, though.
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My faith has been shaken
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My faith has been shaken
Comment from Karyn2
Oh this is so heart wrenching and sad. So much sorrow and searching is evident in your words. You seem to be searching for God or faith perhaps maybe even joy? THere is a sense of abandonment and not being able to to truly find what once was. Well written.
Reading your notes though, I'm so truly sorry for your loss. I can't imagine your pain.
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2023
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Oh this is so heart wrenching and sad. So much sorrow and searching is evident in your words. You seem to be searching for God or faith perhaps maybe even joy? THere is a sense of abandonment and not being able to to truly find what once was. Well written.
Reading your notes though, I'm so truly sorry for your loss. I can't imagine your pain.
Comment Written 14-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2023
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Thank you. The story is fictional. I lost my sons but not my faith. I thought one might feel this way in the same situation.
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Oh yes I did gather you wrote it as fiction. Yes I think it would relate to the questions and searching many would feel.
Comment from royowen
It sounds like it's God that went missing, because few men can "be there" when you need them all the time. But then the question is unknowable, at least in this life, a most imaginative post my friend, well donr, good job, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2023
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It sounds like it's God that went missing, because few men can "be there" when you need them all the time. But then the question is unknowable, at least in this life, a most imaginative post my friend, well donr, good job, blessings Roy
Comment Written 14-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2023
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Thank you. It is meant to poetray someone who feel they cannot find God and want to know where he is.
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Good job
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
You lost three sons? OMG, I'm so sorry! We all feel different emotions when some trauma hits us, we somehow cope, but it takes time. Your author notes tell us you didn't feel the way the story implies. I'm glad but would have understood if you had ... at least for a while. Good luck in the contest. :) Sandra xxx
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2023
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You lost three sons? OMG, I'm so sorry! We all feel different emotions when some trauma hits us, we somehow cope, but it takes time. Your author notes tell us you didn't feel the way the story implies. I'm glad but would have understood if you had ... at least for a while. Good luck in the contest. :) Sandra xxx
Comment Written 14-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2023
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Thank you. It was a long time ago and I have learned to accept it as what is. There is no point in blaming God or anyone else for that which is.
Comment from Kaiku
Pretty sad story. Are you asking about God? Might be a dumb question. Really sorry about your real life loss. That`s quite a bit of pain for someone to go through. Are you from the Midwest? A dairy farmer from Wisconsin maybe. Gold bless you.
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2023
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Pretty sad story. Are you asking about God? Might be a dumb question. Really sorry about your real life loss. That`s quite a bit of pain for someone to go through. Are you from the Midwest? A dairy farmer from Wisconsin maybe. Gold bless you.
Comment Written 14-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2023
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Thank you. I live in Michigan which is where we had our dairy farm. My husband is gone and so is the farm. My loss was a very long time ago and I have learned to accept it for what it is.
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Good for you.
