Quiet Lawyer
Viewing comments for Chapter 54 "Quiet Lawyer Chapter 26 A"Can a broken heart be mended?
31 total reviews
Comment from Ben Colder
Good reason to break off the engagement.
Check this out if someone has not already. Grinning Joseph said, "For special customers, things move fast." He moved closer to Alexandra, leaned over, and kissed her check. "Good luck."
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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Good reason to break off the engagement.
Check this out if someone has not already. Grinning Joseph said, "For special customers, things move fast." He moved closer to Alexandra, leaned over, and kissed her check. "Good luck."
Comment Written 10-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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LOL thank you for the catch. Nope, nobody caught it. I have fixed that area.
Comment from royowen
With the hatred I have for violent assault of any kind, I enjoyed this episode, some things are difficult to prove in court, but the case against Allen Griffin, who is a pathological liar, seems flawless, and Alexandra has the best, I really enjoyed this episode Barbara, well done, blessings Roy
Typo ; And the badly (sprang) ankle. Sprained?
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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With the hatred I have for violent assault of any kind, I enjoyed this episode, some things are difficult to prove in court, but the case against Allen Griffin, who is a pathological liar, seems flawless, and Alexandra has the best, I really enjoyed this episode Barbara, well done, blessings Roy
Typo ; And the badly (sprang) ankle. Sprained?
Comment Written 10-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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I made the correction thank you for catching it. I appreciate the help and support.
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Most welcome
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
The story has abuse in it which Mr. Alan is not aware of evidently. He sure is a liar! Good thing Ali is an excellent lawyer so she understands the pros and cons. Until next chapter.
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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The story has abuse in it which Mr. Alan is not aware of evidently. He sure is a liar! Good thing Ali is an excellent lawyer so she understands the pros and cons. Until next chapter.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Jim Wile
A very interesting chapter that shows Alan getting his due. I wasn't aware trials could be so informal with the judge asking so many questions. I would think Alan would have objected to much of it.
It seems a little unlikely that Ali was planning to be her own lawyer (ignoring her dad's good advice), especially when you say she gasped when Alan asked if her injuries could have been due to a throw from a horse. She would have prepared for that, seeing as how she had already seen the security footage. I would either leave out the gasp in any case.
Despite this, it helped bring resolution to her wretched past with Alan, and hopefully she can finally move on from this.
(badly sprang ankle should be badly sprained ankle)
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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A very interesting chapter that shows Alan getting his due. I wasn't aware trials could be so informal with the judge asking so many questions. I would think Alan would have objected to much of it.
It seems a little unlikely that Ali was planning to be her own lawyer (ignoring her dad's good advice), especially when you say she gasped when Alan asked if her injuries could have been due to a throw from a horse. She would have prepared for that, seeing as how she had already seen the security footage. I would either leave out the gasp in any case.
Despite this, it helped bring resolution to her wretched past with Alan, and hopefully she can finally move on from this.
(badly sprang ankle should be badly sprained ankle)
Comment Written 10-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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Ali didn't know that Alan knew about the horse incident. She was not thrown from a horse. She got off the horse and the horse left her. Her father showing up was a surprise to her. Thank you for the kind review.
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But why would she gasp? Just because she found out something she didn't know he knew? It wasn't going to be incriminating, because she knew the truth about her injuries and had the proof. If there's some other reason for the gasp that I'm not seeing, that's fine, but it makes it sound like she's gasping because she's worried about it's possible effect on the case. I admit that maybe I'm missing something, though.
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I think she was just worried. It surprised her that he knew anything about the horse. Who would have told him?
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Got it.
Comment from amahra
I thought because you posted so soon again that this was the end. But I liked the drama in the court scenes and am very glad Alan is finally going to jail.
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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I thought because you posted so soon again that this was the end. But I liked the drama in the court scenes and am very glad Alan is finally going to jail.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Frank Malley
It's difficult to cut dialogue down when you enjoyed writing it. However, this chapter could use far fewer words and nonetheless pack a better punch with a rewrite that picks what's necessary and interesting and leaves out what's wordy and yes, realistic - but boring. Read a selection from a John Grisham courtroom novel. There is a complete flow of plot here, but there are a number of pointless inclusions that are unnecessary to advance the main elements of the story. Good readers enjoy well-designed hints more than extra details.
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reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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It's difficult to cut dialogue down when you enjoyed writing it. However, this chapter could use far fewer words and nonetheless pack a better punch with a rewrite that picks what's necessary and interesting and leaves out what's wordy and yes, realistic - but boring. Read a selection from a John Grisham courtroom novel. There is a complete flow of plot here, but there are a number of pointless inclusions that are unnecessary to advance the main elements of the story. Good readers enjoy well-designed hints more than extra details.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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Thank you.
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Hi, Barbara. and uh-oh. We've banged antlers before. My brother-in-law once pointed out to me how well J.K. Rowling;s "Harry Potter" stories were paced, to keep the reader easily involved. I've always reminded myself of his true observation (I checked out some of Rowling's prose) when I feel like I'm painting the pot in too much detail. I am honored by your thank you. Frank
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We will probably continue to bang antlers. LOL
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Happy New Year, Barbara. Frank
Comment from nomi338
Please forgive my blunt manner of speech, but it has often been said, and I repeat "Payback is a cold hearted b***h!" and Mr. Griffin is about to be paid back in full measure. Could not happen to a more deserving person.
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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Please forgive my blunt manner of speech, but it has often been said, and I repeat "Payback is a cold hearted b***h!" and Mr. Griffin is about to be paid back in full measure. Could not happen to a more deserving person.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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Thank you for the kind reivew.
Comment from eliz100
This is another excellent chapter. Alan finally gets his comeuppance. I have enjoyed reading this book. I look forward to the next one. I do not see any room for improvement. Have a blessed day.
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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This is another excellent chapter. Alan finally gets his comeuppance. I have enjoyed reading this book. I look forward to the next one. I do not see any room for improvement. Have a blessed day.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from estory
The courtroom scene unfolds methodically and I think you had a good hold of the tense, businesslike dialogue, with appropriate tension where it had to be, between Alan and Ali's father and grandfather. Alan tries to squirm out of this but he is pretty unsuccessful. The case against him looks air tight. Video, damning video, seems to seal the deal. I think it's a solid scene, you put together all the emotional connections between friends and adversaries of Ali and Cord, but it is a bit predictable in some ways. Maybe you could put in a couple of unexpected twists and turns. estory
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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The courtroom scene unfolds methodically and I think you had a good hold of the tense, businesslike dialogue, with appropriate tension where it had to be, between Alan and Ali's father and grandfather. Alan tries to squirm out of this but he is pretty unsuccessful. The case against him looks air tight. Video, damning video, seems to seal the deal. I think it's a solid scene, you put together all the emotional connections between friends and adversaries of Ali and Cord, but it is a bit predictable in some ways. Maybe you could put in a couple of unexpected twists and turns. estory
Comment Written 10-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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Thank you for the kind review. Another reviewer mentioned I had to much information. I'd better not add any more. LOL
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It's a question of steering away from the predictable, I think. You can have the same scene, but jumble it up a bit, give it some different twists and turns. Something unexpected. estory
Comment from Ulla
Hi Barbara, I don't have a six to my name, although it definitely deserves that. It was a great court scene that yh o no described. I am will be looking forward to the next chapter on Sunday. Ulla xx
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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Hi Barbara, I don't have a six to my name, although it definitely deserves that. It was a great court scene that yh o no described. I am will be looking forward to the next chapter on Sunday. Ulla xx
Comment Written 10-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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Thank you for the kind review. I appreciate the support.
