My Song Runs To You
A free verse club entry using the word run in the poem.20 total reviews
Comment from dragonpoet
So the ghost is of an old love that is running in your head and your room. I like the personification of the bed. Sometimes grief can take a long time to run out. Especially if you have a lot of things in your house that remind you of the one you lost either by break-up or death.
Keep writing and stay healthy
This is a good poem for the club.
Happy Holidays.
Joan
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2024
  |
So the ghost is of an old love that is running in your head and your room. I like the personification of the bed. Sometimes grief can take a long time to run out. Especially if you have a lot of things in your house that remind you of the one you lost either by break-up or death.
Keep writing and stay healthy
This is a good poem for the club.
Happy Holidays.
Joan
Comment Written 27-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2024
-
Thanks a lot Joan for the very positive review.
-
You?re welcome, Zue65
Joan
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
You have written a poem that makes complete sense just by using the words run/running. I'll have to see if anyone else has done as good a job as you have. Very clever, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2024
|
You have written a poem that makes complete sense just by using the words run/running. I'll have to see if anyone else has done as good a job as you have. Very clever, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 27-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2024
-
Thanks a lot Sandra for the very positive review and the five stars too.
Comment from Frank Malley
"My Song Runs to You" uses a complex sense of the word 'running' and the image of an old bed to frame its statements about a lost love. Since the poetry challenge was to use the word 'run' in a free verse poem, this poem more than meets that challenge; there are probably a dozen or more senses of run within it. This excellent poem seeks to make observations about life after love, and it harbors the pain that surrounds a lost intimacy and seeks a recovery from the costs of lost love.
I find myself saying this very often in FS reviews I write, but my criticism seems never to gain any traction; people would rather approach poetry as though it were a crossword puzzle than as a work of communication art. When the poem's central idea or ideas are made to conform to a verbal demand, the poem invariable suffers because the focus on specific word choices (or on lineation, or syllable counts, or pictographic design) almost always dilutes the poem's thrust. I guess that playful poetry is fine, and I'm sure that the risk of phony grandiosity is often deflated when an art is playful rather than solemn. But whatever the tone of a poem, be it frivolous, tragic, magical, enduring, passionate, arrogant - the composition needs to keep its priority as being a communication in the foreground for it to be exceptional.
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2024
|
"My Song Runs to You" uses a complex sense of the word 'running' and the image of an old bed to frame its statements about a lost love. Since the poetry challenge was to use the word 'run' in a free verse poem, this poem more than meets that challenge; there are probably a dozen or more senses of run within it. This excellent poem seeks to make observations about life after love, and it harbors the pain that surrounds a lost intimacy and seeks a recovery from the costs of lost love.
I find myself saying this very often in FS reviews I write, but my criticism seems never to gain any traction; people would rather approach poetry as though it were a crossword puzzle than as a work of communication art. When the poem's central idea or ideas are made to conform to a verbal demand, the poem invariable suffers because the focus on specific word choices (or on lineation, or syllable counts, or pictographic design) almost always dilutes the poem's thrust. I guess that playful poetry is fine, and I'm sure that the risk of phony grandiosity is often deflated when an art is playful rather than solemn. But whatever the tone of a poem, be it frivolous, tragic, magical, enduring, passionate, arrogant - the composition needs to keep its priority as being a communication in the foreground for it to be exceptional.
Comment Written 27-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2024
-
Thanks a lot for the intelligent summation of this humble piece, I appreciate the honesty and sincerity of your remarks.
Comment from Mitchell Brontė
Super musical elements in this free verse capture this sense of anguish reaching out and ending up in mid air, unsatisfied. I loved all the run repetitions, those patterns added rhythm in the tapestry of the language of this poem. It really creates that sense of the frustrations of unmet needs and desires.
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2024
|
Super musical elements in this free verse capture this sense of anguish reaching out and ending up in mid air, unsatisfied. I loved all the run repetitions, those patterns added rhythm in the tapestry of the language of this poem. It really creates that sense of the frustrations of unmet needs and desires.
Comment Written 27-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2024
-
Thanks a lot for the positive review and five stars.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
You bed is having a few adventures here, but there is a serious side to your words as there is painful loss here when the bed is empty and someone is missing, I can identify with your words here, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2024
|
You bed is having a few adventures here, but there is a serious side to your words as there is painful loss here when the bed is empty and someone is missing, I can identify with your words here, love Dolly x
Comment Written 27-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2024
-
Thanks a lot Dolly for resonating with the message of the poem. I appreciate too, the five stars.
Comment from Ricky1024
This was well written rich in Theme and Imagery.
It also, read well and flowed well with no Grammar Issues.
The Adjective and Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional while Descriptive Measures Aligned Perfectly.
Thanks for sharing.
Doctor Ricky 1024
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2024
|
This was well written rich in Theme and Imagery.
It also, read well and flowed well with no Grammar Issues.
The Adjective and Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional while Descriptive Measures Aligned Perfectly.
Thanks for sharing.
Doctor Ricky 1024
Comment Written 26-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2024
-
Thanks a lot Ricky for the positive review.
Comment from Marienkiefer
I believe you have delivered a wonderful free verse poem and that shows mastery of language and word usage of the word: run.
It has given some interesting images, and creative compositions. One of my favourites: the stanza that refers to a bed that runs errands for elusive dreams, a running pain in the heart...
A pleasure to have read and reviewed the creative lines that run through your poem. Very nice.
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2024
|
I believe you have delivered a wonderful free verse poem and that shows mastery of language and word usage of the word: run.
It has given some interesting images, and creative compositions. One of my favourites: the stanza that refers to a bed that runs errands for elusive dreams, a running pain in the heart...
A pleasure to have read and reviewed the creative lines that run through your poem. Very nice.
Comment Written 26-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2024
-
Thanks a lot for the very positive review. I appreciate too, the five stars.
Comment from prettybluebirds
You have done an excellent job with the writing prompt. You certainly used the word run enough throughout the writing. Your poem is delightful. I wish you the best in the contest.
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2024
|
You have done an excellent job with the writing prompt. You certainly used the word run enough throughout the writing. Your poem is delightful. I wish you the best in the contest.
Comment Written 26-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2024
-
Thanks a lot prettybluebirds for the positive review.
Comment from BOO ghost
ghost running
my tortured sleep,
desperately running.
Yeah, like ghost running.
And this,
this carefree ghost
runs the air I breathe
in the dark room,
running the lengt
BOOtastic!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2024
|
ghost running
my tortured sleep,
desperately running.
Yeah, like ghost running.
And this,
this carefree ghost
runs the air I breathe
in the dark room,
running the lengt
BOOtastic!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 26-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2024
-
Thanks a bunch for the positive review.
Comment from lancellot
Hmm, this is interesting. I get the point was to use the word run in the contest. I guess as much as possible.
I do think, it just doesn't fit in every line, making some sentences a bit confusing. Not an easy challenge, that's for sure. I don't think I could do it.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2024
|
Hmm, this is interesting. I get the point was to use the word run in the contest. I guess as much as possible.
I do think, it just doesn't fit in every line, making some sentences a bit confusing. Not an easy challenge, that's for sure. I don't think I could do it.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 26-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2024
-
Thanks for the intelligent review and the five stars too.
