Trading Places
Just a glass and she was...11 total reviews
Comment from Sherry SG
Haunting! And really entertaining. I enjoyed the dark twist in the tale with the magic potion. Nice work.
I noticed a small typo in the 3rd stanza - Aunts secret recipe - missing an apostrophe. I feel that a more uniform meter through the poem would make it a more satisfying read.
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2022
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Haunting! And really entertaining. I enjoyed the dark twist in the tale with the magic potion. Nice work.
I noticed a small typo in the 3rd stanza - Aunts secret recipe - missing an apostrophe. I feel that a more uniform meter through the poem would make it a more satisfying read.
Comment Written 27-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2022
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Thankbuou for this great review and for the correction...both are appreciated. :)
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
Very cleverly written. This was such an idea (story written as a poem) about the woman and the wine she drank. Alcohol will ruin your facial features and it will put you in a coffin if you drink enough.
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2022
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Very cleverly written. This was such an idea (story written as a poem) about the woman and the wine she drank. Alcohol will ruin your facial features and it will put you in a coffin if you drink enough.
Comment Written 27-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2022
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Thats for sure. Thank you for this insightful review, it's very appreciated. :)
Comment from Dawn Munro
Ahhhhhhhh -- YIKES! What an amazing story-in-a-poem this is, and a big surprise. It's a terrific twist on what I expected from the challenge. I wish I had a six for it! Highly evocative, and wonderfully written!
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2022
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Ahhhhhhhh -- YIKES! What an amazing story-in-a-poem this is, and a big surprise. It's a terrific twist on what I expected from the challenge. I wish I had a six for it! Highly evocative, and wonderfully written!
Comment Written 26-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2022
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Thank you for this wonderful review and for your kind words. :)
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You're very welcome.
Comment from Wendy G
Lol. Oh dear. There is a moral to your story/poem. Don't drink your dead aunt's wine! An excellent poem, and a likely winner. Just a suggestion. "I'll live life over again, as you!'' might read better. But it's your poem.... Great fun. Very humorous.
Wendy
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2022
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Lol. Oh dear. There is a moral to your story/poem. Don't drink your dead aunt's wine! An excellent poem, and a likely winner. Just a suggestion. "I'll live life over again, as you!'' might read better. But it's your poem.... Great fun. Very humorous.
Wendy
Comment Written 26-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2022
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Thanks for this positive review. :)
Comment from Mary Vigasin
Brilliant, strange, clever, and well-written. A very different story of drinking with a touch of Dorian Grey. I had to comment before I voted.
I wish you well in the contest.
(I just wish you used Hortense instead of Mary!)
Best wishes,
Mary
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2022
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Brilliant, strange, clever, and well-written. A very different story of drinking with a touch of Dorian Grey. I had to comment before I voted.
I wish you well in the contest.
(I just wish you used Hortense instead of Mary!)
Best wishes,
Mary
Comment Written 26-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2022
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Oops! I just think Mary is a beautiful name. Thanks so much for this nice review. :)
Comment from jessizero
This was a great story told in poem form. It captured my attention at the beginning and kept it until the end. The aunt was quite evil. I loved the twist. Thanks for sharing, and best wishes to you.
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2022
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This was a great story told in poem form. It captured my attention at the beginning and kept it until the end. The aunt was quite evil. I loved the twist. Thanks for sharing, and best wishes to you.
Comment Written 26-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2022
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Thank you for this exceptional review, it does mean a lot to me.:)
Comment from Julie G1
Well done. This poem clearly conveyed a tale, slightly creepy. The poet's choice of language and rhyming was effective. The use of the graphic also worked well for this reader. I hope you keep on writing.
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2022
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Well done. This poem clearly conveyed a tale, slightly creepy. The poet's choice of language and rhyming was effective. The use of the graphic also worked well for this reader. I hope you keep on writing.
Comment Written 26-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2022
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Thank you. I'm not sure why I'm always turning to the dark side when I write..lol. I appreciate this great review. :)
Comment from Gloria ....
This is a most innovative and scary response to the prompt. Poor unsuspecting Mary has now consumed a drink she shouldn't have and will regret it for as much time as she has left.
I enjoy how the poem began as a typical cleaning of an attic that quickly became something else entirely.
Very well done, and I wish you great luck with the voters.
Gloria
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2022
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This is a most innovative and scary response to the prompt. Poor unsuspecting Mary has now consumed a drink she shouldn't have and will regret it for as much time as she has left.
I enjoy how the poem began as a typical cleaning of an attic that quickly became something else entirely.
Very well done, and I wish you great luck with the voters.
Gloria
Comment Written 26-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2022
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Thanks so much for this encouraging review...it means a lot to me. :)
Comment from royowen
It sounds a little like "The picture of Dorian Gray" with a few details that were different, but I wonder would we be tempted, if so promoted and able to switch places with a young, attractive version of ourselves. Beautifully written my friend, most imaginative, articulate, abcb rhyming, well done, good post, blessings Roy
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reply by the author on 26-Nov-2022
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It sounds a little like "The picture of Dorian Gray" with a few details that were different, but I wonder would we be tempted, if so promoted and able to switch places with a young, attractive version of ourselves. Beautifully written my friend, most imaginative, articulate, abcb rhyming, well done, good post, blessings Roy
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 26-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2022
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Thabk you for this nice review. :)
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Most welcome
Comment from Ricky1024
"Trading Places"
This is the Drink Poetry contest Entry.
This for it teaches a lesson the children should not play in the Attic and especially drink something that should never be drunk by anybody and unfortunately she had to pay an awful price by giving her own life.
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This was well written rich in Theme and Imagery.
It also, read well and flowed well with no Grammar Issues.
Good luck with your contest Entry.
Doctor Ricky 1024
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2022
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"Trading Places"
This is the Drink Poetry contest Entry.
This for it teaches a lesson the children should not play in the Attic and especially drink something that should never be drunk by anybody and unfortunately she had to pay an awful price by giving her own life.
...
This was well written rich in Theme and Imagery.
It also, read well and flowed well with no Grammar Issues.
Good luck with your contest Entry.
Doctor Ricky 1024
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 26-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2022
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Thank you for this terrific review. :)
