Rush Hour
The woes of driving home from work!13 total reviews
Comment from John Ciarmello
Hi Douglas, it's me again! I loved this one. We've all been in this situation once or twice. The twist at the end I didn't see coming and it was perfect. There is nothing better than a smile with my morning coffee. Well done! best, JohnC
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2022
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Hi Douglas, it's me again! I loved this one. We've all been in this situation once or twice. The twist at the end I didn't see coming and it was perfect. There is nothing better than a smile with my morning coffee. Well done! best, JohnC
Comment Written 17-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2022
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Thanks John! Good morning! I was surprised this one won, but people love a twist on FS.
Comment from Eternal Muse
Oh, God, that picture is so familiar to me. I used to live in Long Island,New York, and they called Long Island Expressway "the world's longest parking lot." (lol). I know the frustration and agony is driving in traffic, taking forever to get home.
Great imagery, visuals, presentation. A good humor. Loved your artwork.
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2022
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Oh, God, that picture is so familiar to me. I used to live in Long Island,New York, and they called Long Island Expressway "the world's longest parking lot." (lol). I know the frustration and agony is driving in traffic, taking forever to get home.
Great imagery, visuals, presentation. A good humor. Loved your artwork.
Comment Written 18-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2022
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Funny how many people have related to this.
Comment from royowen
For some reason this reminds of our time staying with our daughter and son-in-law in Manhattan caught in a grid lock in a yellow cab on 5th avenue, en route to a concert at Carnegie hall, in the end we got out and walked, it was quicker, so I relate to this great experiential poem, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2022
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For some reason this reminds of our time staying with our daughter and son-in-law in Manhattan caught in a grid lock in a yellow cab on 5th avenue, en route to a concert at Carnegie hall, in the end we got out and walked, it was quicker, so I relate to this great experiential poem, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 18-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2022
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Thank you! Seems to have hit a strong note with people.
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Of course. Well done
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Congratulations, Douglas, I love your Rhyming Poem, it's so funny because it's relatable.. who hasn't? I like the presentation too. I can't write in rhyme so I'm lucky I found my niche in Japanese poetry. Well done!
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2022
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Congratulations, Douglas, I love your Rhyming Poem, it's so funny because it's relatable.. who hasn't? I like the presentation too. I can't write in rhyme so I'm lucky I found my niche in Japanese poetry. Well done!
Comment Written 18-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2022
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Thank you. I try to write stuff with fun twists. Maybe because my brain is twisted? Ha!
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Twisted minds....my Favorite ... hahaha
Comment from Brett Matthew West
In the second stanza "some how" should be somehow.
Strong rhymes throughout.
Bit of an unexpected twist in the last line that indicated you were not driving. However, some passengers are really not so good at playing that role.
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2022
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In the second stanza "some how" should be somehow.
Strong rhymes throughout.
Bit of an unexpected twist in the last line that indicated you were not driving. However, some passengers are really not so good at playing that role.
Comment Written 17-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2022
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Thanks for the fix. I appreciate you for always being so helpful!!
Comment from lyenochka
Lol. I enjoyed your humorous poem. You got us all feeling the stress of driving in a traffic jam with rude drivers cutting in and out. But then in the end, the narrator is only the passenger.
Congratulations on the win!
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2022
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Lol. I enjoyed your humorous poem. You got us all feeling the stress of driving in a traffic jam with rude drivers cutting in and out. But then in the end, the narrator is only the passenger.
Congratulations on the win!
Comment Written 17-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2022
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Thank you my friend! This was another fun one.
Comment from Thesis
I liked the twist at the end, realizing that it was not the driver's actions and feelings, but the passenger's.
Everyone who commutes can relate to these feelings and frustrations of being at the mercy of others on the road. a well constructed piece.
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2022
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I liked the twist at the end, realizing that it was not the driver's actions and feelings, but the passenger's.
Everyone who commutes can relate to these feelings and frustrations of being at the mercy of others on the road. a well constructed piece.
Comment Written 16-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2022
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Thank you! I was actually surprised that it won, but people do enjoy a nice ending twist!
Comment from Dr. Von
Very humorous poem. The rhyme scheme is written very well. I enjoyed the message of the poem and the perfect landing. I like truth in humor. A ride through Jerusalem rush hour came readily to mind. Congratulations on your win. Well deserved my friend.
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2022
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Very humorous poem. The rhyme scheme is written very well. I enjoyed the message of the poem and the perfect landing. I like truth in humor. A ride through Jerusalem rush hour came readily to mind. Congratulations on your win. Well deserved my friend.
Comment Written 16-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2022
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Thank you my friend. I appreciate the sentiments. People live a twist at the end! I hope to see Jerusalem one day.
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You are welcome. I hope you will visit Jerusalem at an opportune time. A glorious journey for me.
Comment from Bill Schott
This poem, Rush Hour, brings in all the troubles and problems associated with trying to negotiate the roads which are strewn with orange cones, potholes, and other drivers.
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2022
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This poem, Rush Hour, brings in all the troubles and problems associated with trying to negotiate the roads which are strewn with orange cones, potholes, and other drivers.
Comment Written 16-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2022
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Yes Sir. I think people likes the twist at the end! Thanks my friend.
Comment from Ricky1024
This is a Rhyming Contest Entry Rich in theme and Imagery.
It also, read well and flowed well with no Grammar Issues.
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The Adjective and Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional while Descriptive Measures Aligned Perfectly.
Good luck with your Contest Entry.
Doctor Ricky 1024
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2022
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This is a Rhyming Contest Entry Rich in theme and Imagery.
It also, read well and flowed well with no Grammar Issues.
...
The Adjective and Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional while Descriptive Measures Aligned Perfectly.
Good luck with your Contest Entry.
Doctor Ricky 1024
Comment Written 16-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2022
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Surprised it won. Must have been the twist at the end. Thanks for the review my friend.
