The Beast
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "The Beast Ch.1"A killer with no motive - can it even be?
12 total reviews
Comment from Cindy Warren
That's creepy. I'm dying to know what sort of beast Terry is. Not your garden variety serial killer, I think. And one that can enjoy coffee. Still, it seems he's disposing of his victim, not eating her.
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2022
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That's creepy. I'm dying to know what sort of beast Terry is. Not your garden variety serial killer, I think. And one that can enjoy coffee. Still, it seems he's disposing of his victim, not eating her.
Comment Written 05-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2022
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He is a vessel with more than one occupant, methinks. Thanks so much, Cindy!
Mike
Comment from Thesis
Mike, Chapter 1 brings up so many questions, while beginning to develop the profile of a very complex man. I'm really interested to see where this goes, and to understand The Beast in context.
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2022
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Mike, Chapter 1 brings up so many questions, while beginning to develop the profile of a very complex man. I'm really interested to see where this goes, and to understand The Beast in context.
Comment Written 05-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2022
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I quite enjoyed writing the 'dual PoV' for Terry. I love the idea of someone living with a monster in their own mind, and how that might manifest in the world.
Mike
Comment from Michaela Moore
I am stunned. I don't know as a mystery buff and fan if I am going to like knowing who is doing the crime. I will see if your brilliance in writing will help me change my mind about that. I will say, that your characterization and the time you took to create this character was again, brilliant. The last paragraph left me stunned. Breathless with mind numbing shock. Genius.
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2022
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I am stunned. I don't know as a mystery buff and fan if I am going to like knowing who is doing the crime. I will see if your brilliance in writing will help me change my mind about that. I will say, that your characterization and the time you took to create this character was again, brilliant. The last paragraph left me stunned. Breathless with mind numbing shock. Genius.
Comment Written 05-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2022
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Thank you, Michaela :-). My main intent is to evoke a very different feel between 'Beast' chapters and Detective ones. As to knowing who is doing the crimes, I shall only say ... do you? ;-)
Mike
Comment from Judy Lawless
Congratulations on joining the NanoWrimo project, Mike. You're off to a great start with this chapter. I'm not sure about all that is going on, but it leaves me with many disturbing questions. Like just who is Terry, or The Beast, and what has he done?? I look forward to delving into this mystery.
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2022
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Congratulations on joining the NanoWrimo project, Mike. You're off to a great start with this chapter. I'm not sure about all that is going on, but it leaves me with many disturbing questions. Like just who is Terry, or The Beast, and what has he done?? I look forward to delving into this mystery.
Comment Written 05-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2022
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Thank you, Judy :-). It's good to know the right questions are standing out. It's going to be interesting, writing Terry's deep and dual PoV through this novel.
Mike
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You're most welcome, Mike. :)
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Sorry to be late, haven't been well. :(
This is a fabulous start for your new novel, you and your inner you are trying to, I'm not sure yet, but it will be fun finding out. You have a unique voice, this one especially. I admire you for taking on this challenge, I wouldn't dare! I'll go and read the next part now and see if I can work out what the two of YOU are up to. :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2022
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Sorry to be late, haven't been well. :(
This is a fabulous start for your new novel, you and your inner you are trying to, I'm not sure yet, but it will be fun finding out. You have a unique voice, this one especially. I admire you for taking on this challenge, I wouldn't dare! I'll go and read the next part now and see if I can work out what the two of YOU are up to. :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 03-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2022
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Thank you, Sandra :-). So sorry to hear you've been unwell - I hope you're on the mend. Chapter 2 introduces the cops tasked with the case, and is hopefully quite a contrast to this one.
Mike
Comment from lyenochka
What a macabre story! With all the voices that are not audible, it feels like the narrator is talking to himself or perhaps the beast within. I'm guessing that the beast makes him do crimes? I wonder who will catch him in the act and will the beast leave him? It's quite a plot. Great description of events that merge the common everyday world with something dark and sinister that is not visible.
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2022
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What a macabre story! With all the voices that are not audible, it feels like the narrator is talking to himself or perhaps the beast within. I'm guessing that the beast makes him do crimes? I wonder who will catch him in the act and will the beast leave him? It's quite a plot. Great description of events that merge the common everyday world with something dark and sinister that is not visible.
Comment Written 03-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2022
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Thank you :-). I quite enjoyed writing the banal events and conversations, leading up to something much darker. Next chapter, we meet the cops!
Mike
Comment from Mary Shifman
This is a great beginning for a crime mystery novel. It has believable dialogue (I especially like his asides to himself) and it moves at a rapid clip. The Beast is the kind of monster that I find terrifying because they do look and behave in a normal fashion most of the time. I would much prefer the monsters one can recognize on sight. Well done. I look forward to the next chapter.
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2022
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This is a great beginning for a crime mystery novel. It has believable dialogue (I especially like his asides to himself) and it moves at a rapid clip. The Beast is the kind of monster that I find terrifying because they do look and behave in a normal fashion most of the time. I would much prefer the monsters one can recognize on sight. Well done. I look forward to the next chapter.
Comment Written 02-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2022
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Thanks so much, Mary :-). I liked the idea of writing a sort of dual PoV character. Next chapter, we'll meet the detectives on the case.
Mike
Comment from barbara.wilkey
This is very methodical. Wow! I am guessing this is how this person's brain works. Although, I question if he's really a person on the inside. I enjoyed reading.
"It's Terry." Or "Order for Trey!" (on purpose???)
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2022
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This is very methodical. Wow! I am guessing this is how this person's brain works. Although, I question if he's really a person on the inside. I enjoyed reading.
"It's Terry." Or "Order for Trey!" (on purpose???)
Comment Written 02-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2022
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Thank you, Barbara :-). Yes, that was intentional - the coffee shop employees are responding to his oddness with some subtle aggression. That's why he throws them a dark look when he leaves. Indeed, one must wonder whether a human is capable of what's happened in that cupboard! Next chapter will introduce the cops who land the case.
Mike
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I thought it might be, but wanted to make sure.
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I'd always rather you checked, Barbara. Next time it'll be an accident, lol :-).
Mike
Comment from Jay Squires
This is a grand start for a novel. The beast seems normal, albeit a bit darkly introspective, in the first part of the chapter until the inner beast meshes with the outer one in the last of the chapter when he deals with the body parts. Grim, indeed!
"painted to a high red gloss" [I would suggest a period here, and starting a new sentence with "It's" to cause less confusion (however short a duration) over whether it's her nose or her lips painted to a high red gloss.]
He's pursing his lips so they look thinner than I judge they normally would, [I don't know whether it's just me, but to me "pursed lips" aren't thinned out, but more puckered and pouty, like a rosebud.]
I guess you know by now, I am a fan of Michael Bell, and I'll be looking forward to the next installment.
JS
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2022
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This is a grand start for a novel. The beast seems normal, albeit a bit darkly introspective, in the first part of the chapter until the inner beast meshes with the outer one in the last of the chapter when he deals with the body parts. Grim, indeed!
"painted to a high red gloss" [I would suggest a period here, and starting a new sentence with "It's" to cause less confusion (however short a duration) over whether it's her nose or her lips painted to a high red gloss.]
He's pursing his lips so they look thinner than I judge they normally would, [I don't know whether it's just me, but to me "pursed lips" aren't thinned out, but more puckered and pouty, like a rosebud.]
I guess you know by now, I am a fan of Michael Bell, and I'll be looking forward to the next installment.
JS
Comment Written 01-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2022
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Thanks so much, Jay :-). This is going to be an interesting experiment - a sort of dual deep PoV for Terry and then other chapters will hopefully feel different. Many thanks for the thoughts on what felt slightly off - that's a handy steer. I'm thrilled you enjoyed it :-)
Mike
Comment from Douglas Goff
This is very well written and interesting. The in and out structure of real world and his mental state help develop the main character well.
I really like this statement:
the most boring door in the world
While it seems minor, capturing little nuances like this that everybody fells really help draw in a reader.
Very good work author!
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2022
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This is very well written and interesting. The in and out structure of real world and his mental state help develop the main character well.
I really like this statement:
the most boring door in the world
While it seems minor, capturing little nuances like this that everybody fells really help draw in a reader.
Very good work author!
Comment Written 01-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2022
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Thanks so much, Douglas :-). I'm really happy you picked out that line because I worried I'd gone a little too colloquial with it, but was hoping (as you suggest) to help make the office feel familiar and banal. Thanks for the great review!
Mike
