Tanka (I watched the moon)
Tanka poetry21 total reviews
Comment from Wendy G
Very lovely Tanka! You have chosen words which support the image with excellent lyrical quality and the soft and delicate tone is just right. A fine entry - best wishes.
Wendy
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2022
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Very lovely Tanka! You have chosen words which support the image with excellent lyrical quality and the soft and delicate tone is just right. A fine entry - best wishes.
Wendy
Comment Written 21-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2022
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Thank you.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Excellent entry for the 5-7-5 writing prompt contest" I love the nature imagery. Good word choices.
Nice presentation. Good syllables count and connection between lines.
Good luck in the contest.
Gypsy
"The poet waits quietly to paint the unsaid." - Atticus
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2022
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Excellent entry for the 5-7-5 writing prompt contest" I love the nature imagery. Good word choices.
Nice presentation. Good syllables count and connection between lines.
Good luck in the contest.
Gypsy
"The poet waits quietly to paint the unsaid." - Atticus
Comment Written 21-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2022
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Thank you.
Comment from Faith Williams
There is some lovely imagery in your tanka--'shimmering patterns of delicate, gossamer lace' is a wonderful line. Thanks for sharing, and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2022
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There is some lovely imagery in your tanka--'shimmering patterns of delicate, gossamer lace' is a wonderful line. Thanks for sharing, and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 20-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2022
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Thank you.
Comment from Tom Horonzy
I like most of this entry, save for gossamer which I find is used too often. Still, it fits but as "suggestions" substitute might be fibrous or nirvanic.
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2022
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I like most of this entry, save for gossamer which I find is used too often. Still, it fits but as "suggestions" substitute might be fibrous or nirvanic.
Comment Written 20-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2022
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Thank you.
Comment from jacquelyn popp
Thank you for sharing this. I haven't read Tanka poetry before, but I enjoyed reading this. The way that you used imagery, shimmering patterns of delicate, gossamer lace really helped to create the feeling, that I have as if I was there, watching the moon too. I love to look at moonlight, when it a full moon is out. This was written well, and the words flowed together. Thank you for posting this.
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2022
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Thank you for sharing this. I haven't read Tanka poetry before, but I enjoyed reading this. The way that you used imagery, shimmering patterns of delicate, gossamer lace really helped to create the feeling, that I have as if I was there, watching the moon too. I love to look at moonlight, when it a full moon is out. This was written well, and the words flowed together. Thank you for posting this.
Comment Written 20-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2022
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Thank you very much!
Comment from estory
Nice job with the meter, and a very pastoral romantic image done with plenty of color and shape. The poetry provided the music. You had a lovely scene here of the moon sparkling on the water. estory
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2022
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Nice job with the meter, and a very pastoral romantic image done with plenty of color and shape. The poetry provided the music. You had a lovely scene here of the moon sparkling on the water. estory
Comment Written 20-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2022
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Thank you so very much!
Comment from dragonpoet
Hi Melissa,
What beautiful bit of personification and metaphor about what moonrise over water looks like. The words seem to have been written for this picture.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Joan
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2022
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Hi Melissa,
What beautiful bit of personification and metaphor about what moonrise over water looks like. The words seem to have been written for this picture.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Joan
Comment Written 19-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2022
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Thanks so much Joan!!!
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Don't mention it.
Joan
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
The moon has a habit of reflecting into water and you created a magical ambient picture of delicate lace here, a fine write for the prompt, musing over the moon, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2022
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The moon has a habit of reflecting into water and you created a magical ambient picture of delicate lace here, a fine write for the prompt, musing over the moon, love Dolly x
Comment Written 19-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2022
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Thanks so much, Dolly!
Comment from Bill Schott
This tanka, I Watched the Moon, looks good and creates a shimmering image of the lunar ball melting into the liquid abyss and floating over the darkness.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2022
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This tanka, I Watched the Moon, looks good and creates a shimmering image of the lunar ball melting into the liquid abyss and floating over the darkness.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2022
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Thanks so much, Bill!
Comment from Jasmine Girl
Love this beautifully written poem with imaginary metaphor. I love the lace comparison. Why did you make it a prose? I think you need to change it to a poetry format.
Excellent.
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2022
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Love this beautifully written poem with imaginary metaphor. I love the lace comparison. Why did you make it a prose? I think you need to change it to a poetry format.
Excellent.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2022
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Thanks so much, Lisa... I have a note in to Tom to change it to poetry... I don't know what happened. :)
