My Visitor
So delicate and fleeting but welcome in the dark.29 total reviews
Comment from Marienkiefer
Lovely theme to your poem. I am glad it was moonbeams, but without reading the title,
I thought it may be a spider. I do not know if this was your intention but found it rather interesting how you compare a moonbeam that creeps along the windowsill and moves across the pane and across the elderdown, trickling to the carpet and to the bedroom wall...to a spider.
A pleasant read.
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2022
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Lovely theme to your poem. I am glad it was moonbeams, but without reading the title,
I thought it may be a spider. I do not know if this was your intention but found it rather interesting how you compare a moonbeam that creeps along the windowsill and moves across the pane and across the elderdown, trickling to the carpet and to the bedroom wall...to a spider.
A pleasant read.
Comment Written 24-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2022
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Thanks for reading and reviewing my poem. Spiders and moonbeams have a commonality in how they move around.Driven by different engines so to speak but both quite intriquing.Glad you enjoyed it.
Take care and have a great day.
Barry Penfold.
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Fascinating. All the best🌸
Comment from GWHARGIS
Ooh. I did love the descriptions of the mysterious movements. Liked how you never told what this visitor was until the end. Presented a nice little scene. Very fun to visualize.
Gretchen
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2022
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Ooh. I did love the descriptions of the mysterious movements. Liked how you never told what this visitor was until the end. Presented a nice little scene. Very fun to visualize.
Gretchen
Comment Written 24-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2022
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Gretchen,
Thanks for reading and reviewing my poem. It was fun to put together.Please take care and have a great day.
Comment from harmony13
I found the author's words suspenseful, descriptive and creative. As I continued to read and think of what insect it might be - I was happy to learn it was a moonbeam! Thank you for the author's notes - I love moonbeams! The artwork is awesome and compliments these words.
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2022
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I found the author's words suspenseful, descriptive and creative. As I continued to read and think of what insect it might be - I was happy to learn it was a moonbeam! Thank you for the author's notes - I love moonbeams! The artwork is awesome and compliments these words.
Comment Written 23-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2022
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Thanks so much for your kind words. I really enjoyed putting this poem together . Glad you enjoyed it and I agree the artwork fromFanArt is fantastic.
Take Care
Barry Penfold.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Oh, what a sweet poem. I love it that you wrote about moonbeams. They are too often ignored. You gave it a personality as quick as a mouse. And that is a pretty picture to go with it.
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2022
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Oh, what a sweet poem. I love it that you wrote about moonbeams. They are too often ignored. You gave it a personality as quick as a mouse. And that is a pretty picture to go with it.
Comment Written 23-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2022
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Carol,
You are spot on. Moonbeams are too often ignored. I enjoyed putting this together and I am glad you enjoyed it. You stay safe and have a good day.
Barry Penfold
Comment from Rena Smith
I enjoyed reading this poem because it was cute and it just flowed like poetry does as I read it. The author surprised the reader in the end because it sounded like it could have been an insect or some kind but it was the moon's beam. I liked it because it was interesting and cute.
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2022
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I enjoyed reading this poem because it was cute and it just flowed like poetry does as I read it. The author surprised the reader in the end because it sounded like it could have been an insect or some kind but it was the moon's beam. I liked it because it was interesting and cute.
Comment Written 23-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2022
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Rena,
Thanks for reading and reviewing my poem. I am glad you found it cute. It was sort of meant to be and I enjoyed putting it together. For the most part I enjoy simple and rhyming poetry. Take care and have a great day.
Barry Penfold.
Comment from Sandra Nelms-Ludwig
Beautifully worded poem. I would take out the author's note and let the last line of the poem be the only reveal. I was thinking it was a spirit until the end. Cleverly presented poem. The font size could be larger, and if the text was in a shade of blue it would pop against the gray background and mimic the blues in the visual. The visual is great.
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2022
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Beautifully worded poem. I would take out the author's note and let the last line of the poem be the only reveal. I was thinking it was a spirit until the end. Cleverly presented poem. The font size could be larger, and if the text was in a shade of blue it would pop against the gray background and mimic the blues in the visual. The visual is great.
Comment Written 22-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2022
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Sandra,
Thanks so much for taking the time to read and review my poem. I enjoyed putting it together. Take your point on the font size and background. Take care and have a great day.
Barry Penfold.
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You are welcome.
Comment from lancellot
Very nice. I the rhyme and flow of this poem. It has an almost magical feel to when you wondering what 'it' is.
notes:
One moment it is with me,
-One moment it was with me,
- keep that past tense going.
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2022
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Very nice. I the rhyme and flow of this poem. It has an almost magical feel to when you wondering what 'it' is.
notes:
One moment it is with me,
-One moment it was with me,
- keep that past tense going.
Comment Written 22-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2022
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Thanks for taking the time to read and review my poem. Glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for your suggestion also. I have now edited that to your suggestion and totally agree. I enjoyed putting this together.
Take care and have a good day.
Cheers
Barry Penfold.
Comment from RodG
This poem should appeal to all ages because of how you personified the moonbeam as a magical being, almost like Tinkerbelle dancing around one's room at night. Rod
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reply by the author on 29-Sep-2022
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This poem should appeal to all ages because of how you personified the moonbeam as a magical being, almost like Tinkerbelle dancing around one's room at night. Rod
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2022
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Thanks Rod,
Yes the Tinkerbelle analogy does fit well. It was a good poem to put together and I would agree it would appeal to all ages. Thanks for taking the time to read and review. Take Care.
Barry Penfold.
Comment from the13thpoet
Hello Barry a good Morning to you I hope this day finds you well. Thanks for sharing your poem I enjoyed it, it was nicely written. I thought it was a spider until I got to the end. Good job!
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reply by the author on 29-Sep-2022
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Hello Barry a good Morning to you I hope this day finds you well. Thanks for sharing your poem I enjoyed it, it was nicely written. I thought it was a spider until I got to the end. Good job!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2022
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At last I get back to you. Thanks so much for taking the time to read and review my poem. Glad you enjoyed it. I enjoyed putting it together. Take Care and have a great day.
Regards
Barry Penfold.
