Backside Run
Not a good decision, but it was fun.7 total reviews
Comment from Wendy G
Great story, well told. It could have been the literal end for all of you, but fortunately not. Thanks to your special drink.
Best wishes for your entry in the contest.
Wendy
Typo: "climbed aboard", not "abroad"
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2022
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Great story, well told. It could have been the literal end for all of you, but fortunately not. Thanks to your special drink.
Best wishes for your entry in the contest.
Wendy
Typo: "climbed aboard", not "abroad"
Comment Written 19-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2022
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Thanks for the read, review and the catch. Much appreciated.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Excellent entry for the From Beginning to End writing prompt contest.
Wow, your adventures sounds scary but you guys are very brave or really crazy. LoL
Good luck in the contest.
Gypsy
"The poet waits quietly to paint the unsaid." - Atticus
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2022
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Excellent entry for the From Beginning to End writing prompt contest.
Wow, your adventures sounds scary but you guys are very brave or really crazy. LoL
Good luck in the contest.
Gypsy
"The poet waits quietly to paint the unsaid." - Atticus
Comment Written 18-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2022
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In our youth, I think we tended toward the latter but good memories.
Thanks for the read and the feedback.
Comment from Tom Horonzy
Was that chocolate AND avoids or chocolate with Schmirnoff? That seems the more likely because reports say the inebriated rarely get injured when in accidents. The innocent go to the E.R.
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2022
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Was that chocolate AND avoids or chocolate with Schmirnoff? That seems the more likely because reports say the inebriated rarely get injured when in accidents. The innocent go to the E.R.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2022
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Yes, I have heard that. Thanks for the read and the feedback. Definitely Smirnoff, the cheapest on the shelf.
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spell check changed my fifth word which was vodka. Bad computer program.
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Thanks for letting me know.
Comment from Susan Newell
You were lucky to survive that. But drunken college kids do stupid things. This is a good story, with a beginning, middle and end -- literally. Climb. Stop at Peak. Descend. I'm glad you have stayed in contact over the years.
Sue
and had to stop huffing and puffing halfway up.-- better as "had to stop halfway up, huffing and puffing."
We all packed extra college snaking -- snacking?
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2022
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You were lucky to survive that. But drunken college kids do stupid things. This is a good story, with a beginning, middle and end -- literally. Climb. Stop at Peak. Descend. I'm glad you have stayed in contact over the years.
Sue
and had to stop huffing and puffing halfway up.-- better as "had to stop halfway up, huffing and puffing."
We all packed extra college snaking -- snacking?
Comment Written 18-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2022
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Thanks for the read, review and the catch. I will edit.
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You are very welcome.
Comment from GARY MACLEAN
Hot chocolate and vodka. Now that is a mixture that should keep anyone warm.
P1, s3: Insert (We) before (Headed) then change (Headed) to (headed)
P1, s12: Insert (and) between (stairs,) and (had)
P1, s12: (half-way) should be (halfway) "Halfway" is only ever correct as one word. You should write it like this as an adjective and adverb to show that you are in the middle of something. "Half way" is never correct as two words unless you include "of the" between the two (i.e. "half of the way").
Don't try the same trick today. Fifty years can do a lot to someone.
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2022
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Hot chocolate and vodka. Now that is a mixture that should keep anyone warm.
P1, s3: Insert (We) before (Headed) then change (Headed) to (headed)
P1, s12: Insert (and) between (stairs,) and (had)
P1, s12: (half-way) should be (halfway) "Halfway" is only ever correct as one word. You should write it like this as an adjective and adverb to show that you are in the middle of something. "Half way" is never correct as two words unless you include "of the" between the two (i.e. "half of the way").
Don't try the same trick today. Fifty years can do a lot to someone.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2022
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Thanks for the help, Gary. No matter how many times I read I miss things. Appreciate your input.
Comment from lancellot
Not sure about this one. It is short but on needed story elements it is light. The reader don't know which of the six is speaking. We don't know any of the six. We are shown much, just told a brief accounting, of an accelerated event.
I recommend filling this out with more context and meaning.
Headed south for Swallow Cliff for a day of winter fun.
- incomplete sentence
Feeling daring, we decided to forego the wooden slides and instead go down the back side of the cliff.
- not sure what the wooden slides are, but are your characters still in the car? Was there a transition?
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2022
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Not sure about this one. It is short but on needed story elements it is light. The reader don't know which of the six is speaking. We don't know any of the six. We are shown much, just told a brief accounting, of an accelerated event.
I recommend filling this out with more context and meaning.
Headed south for Swallow Cliff for a day of winter fun.
- incomplete sentence
Feeling daring, we decided to forego the wooden slides and instead go down the back side of the cliff.
- not sure what the wooden slides are, but are your characters still in the car? Was there a transition?
Comment Written 18-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2022
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I will take you suggestions under advisement. Rules call for 250 word limit. Thanks for your input.
Comment from RodG
You SET THE SCENE describing a group of college boys off on a tobogganing adventure. As soon as you mention your route, the reader knows something will go wrong. Good description of your take-off and the near disaster. I would imagine this tale has been retold repeatedly these past 50 years. Rod
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2022
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You SET THE SCENE describing a group of college boys off on a tobogganing adventure. As soon as you mention your route, the reader knows something will go wrong. Good description of your take-off and the near disaster. I would imagine this tale has been retold repeatedly these past 50 years. Rod
Comment Written 18-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2022
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Thanks for the read and review. Much appreciated.
