Reviews from

The Chronicals Of Bethica: The Rise

Viewing comments for Chapter 33 "The Chronicles of Bethica"
Abram must defeat a deadly humanoid race of beings

10 total reviews 
Comment from GARY MACLEAN
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

WOW. I think this is only the second installment I have read of this saga, and it is terrifyingly exciting. You write the kind of story I like to watch on TV. Your words and style make the words seem to come alive. I can clearly see the flat, empty darkness where Gangus ended up. And I tremble at the fight that is to take place.

Very descriptive, very colorful, and full of imagination. A great installment in this ongoing tale. Fully worth the six-star rating I just gave it.

 Comment Written 28-Sep-2022


reply by the author on 28-Sep-2022
    Wow, yourself! :)) Thank you so much, Gary. I'm excited that you enjoyed it that much. And I am humbled and flattered by your review.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

With almost every chapter I think back to when I wouldn't read fantasy, thinking how much I missed out on before I started reading your adventures. LOL. It's always a pleasure. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 27-Sep-2022


reply by the author on 27-Sep-2022
    Thank you, Ric. Always glad to hear from you.
Comment from Judy Lawless
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This chapter is filled with action, quickly changing sides, Amahra. The imagery is fantastic, and it was easy to follow. The number of characters getting involved, all wanting to be the winner, keeps the excitement and challenges alive. Very well done. :)

 Comment Written 26-Sep-2022


reply by the author on 26-Sep-2022
    Thank you so much, Judy. I'm very pleased you liked the imagery and found it easy to follow. Blessings.
reply by Judy Lawless on 27-Sep-2022
    You?re most welcome, Amahra.
Comment from Douglas Goff
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is right up my alley and I would read more. I think that you are very creative and have talent.

In the first two paragraphs you us le the word God a lot. Maybe throw in a deity or something just to break up that log jam. Other than that, great work! Keep it up!

 Comment Written 26-Sep-2022


reply by the author on 26-Sep-2022
    Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. And I sincerely appreciate your suggestions.
Comment from Jay Squires
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This tale is becoming entirely mythic in its scope, now with the god of gods fighting on Gangus's behalf. This had some powerful images, like the undergod being turned into a pillar of salt. Up to your usual high level of action. (Sometimes I wonder how you keep it up!) I only found one teensy consideration:

"...desperately trying to keep his claws within inches of his face from ripping his throat." [To ease the understanding, I'd suggest setting the clause off in commas "within inches of his face"]

I have a question, aside from the content of your post: Do you used the advanced editor or the basic editor to post this. The reason I ask is that a number of us Fanstorians have the same problem: i.e., inability to single space. I never had the problem before until about the same time Tom introduced the new fonts. I've told him of my problem but he says if I paste it as single-spaced from "Word" it will come out single-spaced with FanStory. No matter what I try, though, it always comes out double-spaced -- but that might be because I use the advanced editor. Do you have any suggestions?

Jay


 Comment Written 25-Sep-2022


reply by the author on 26-Sep-2022
    Thank you for your fine review, Jay. Yes, you're right about the commas in that sentence.

    However, the Undergod, is the Underworld god, Nelchael and he was not turned into a pillar of salt. That was the fate of the bull-headed demon.

    As for the suggestion, I always paste in basic, then switch to the advanced editor just before posting. I have never pasted in Advanced editor.
Comment from royowen
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

It's a good thing for Gangus that Raziel has taken an interest in Gangus' affairs, otherwise he would be struggling, and a good thing that He also had help from Gunji, Brehira and company, this is a great post Amhara, you have a fantastic imagination. Beautifully written, blessings, Roy

 Comment Written 25-Sep-2022


reply by the author on 25-Sep-2022
    Thank you, Roy. Always happy to get your reviews. Blessings.
reply by royowen on 25-Sep-2022
    Blessings
Comment from Ulla
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Ah, amahra, this was a fantastic continuation to the story and the ongoing fight. The imagery is superb, and you keep us in suspense all way through. Now what, I wonder, after the emperor is on the case? Doesn't look too good. Ulla:)))

 Comment Written 25-Sep-2022


reply by the author on 25-Sep-2022
    Thank you, Ulla for your review.
Comment from dellsworthpoet
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

A action filled chapter. The flow is good. The language is rich and varied. The images are sharp. I especially liked the fallen angel coming in stages, each more fantastic than the last. The dialogue was believable. The end left me wishing for more.

Kudos. Thanks for a good read.

 Comment Written 25-Sep-2022


reply by the author on 25-Sep-2022
    Thank you so much for this fine review. I'm so glad you liked the chapter. And thanks for the stars. Blessings.
reply by dellsworthpoet on 25-Sep-2022
    You are welcome.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Thank you for sharing this addition with us. I am not normally a sci-fi fan but since a started reading this story, I think I have become one. I enjoyed the action. I am sure the emperor knows he's been told a lie. Good writing.

 Comment Written 25-Sep-2022


reply by the author on 25-Sep-2022
    Thank you for reading and reviewing.
Comment from BermyBye50
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Amahra,

This is an excellent chapter in the book The Chronicals Of Bethica: The Rise. Your story encompasses all the emotion and tension between the characters in this intensely complex relational story. Each paragraph is engaging and captures the attention of the reader. Your strategic use of dialogue enhances the tension woven throughout this brilliant story. Well-done.

All the best,

Eugene

 Comment Written 25-Sep-2022


reply by the author on 25-Sep-2022
    Thank you for your review.