My Husband's Need
And my attempts to avoid giving in41 total reviews
Comment from LateBloomer
Hello author, very good, very cute, but the two you need to get on the same page. You were thinking ice cream, but he was thinking about something a little sweeter - lol. Your poem reads and flows well and has good rhyming within.
Of note:
Then started poking fun at me, but then those comments hurt
(I'm sure your hubby was just kidding with you. However, I have a girlfriend whose husband pokes fun of her while he has he buddies over to the house, and it is upsetting to her. She has told him, "Do you see my mouth smiling when you say these things." Just sharing, and like I said, I am sure your hubby is just teasing you a wee little bit.)
Well done. As this is a contest entry, I wish you good luck. LateBloomer
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2022
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Hello author, very good, very cute, but the two you need to get on the same page. You were thinking ice cream, but he was thinking about something a little sweeter - lol. Your poem reads and flows well and has good rhyming within.
Of note:
Then started poking fun at me, but then those comments hurt
(I'm sure your hubby was just kidding with you. However, I have a girlfriend whose husband pokes fun of her while he has he buddies over to the house, and it is upsetting to her. She has told him, "Do you see my mouth smiling when you say these things." Just sharing, and like I said, I am sure your hubby is just teasing you a wee little bit.)
Well done. As this is a contest entry, I wish you good luck. LateBloomer
Comment Written 09-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2022
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Lol, fiction, all fiction my dear! Actually he does need to lose a few pounds so maybe it's not all fiction. Actually, it was supposed to be about him wanting ice cream the whole time. I wouldn't write provocative stuff here, but I might hint at it. hehe! Just needed a little fun so thought I would try being cute.
Thanks so much Margaret for your awesome review and fun comments.
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
Super clever - you had me most of the way, then I did begin asking, "What does he really want?" You kept it a secret until the last line:-)
Nice rhyme and flow here - simple font and color background keeps the focus on what you're saying. I wish you well in the contest.
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2022
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Super clever - you had me most of the way, then I did begin asking, "What does he really want?" You kept it a secret until the last line:-)
Nice rhyme and flow here - simple font and color background keeps the focus on what you're saying. I wish you well in the contest.
Comment Written 09-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2022
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Thanks so much Pam for your fun comments. I love silly poems and sounds like I had you until almost the end. Thank you so much for your very kind review.
Comment from Fleedleflump
Lol, I had a feeling we were in for a misdirect reveal and it made me chuckle when it came. Us obsessed guys, always thinking about ice cream, wanting to eat it morning, noon and night - what are we like!
Mike
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2022
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Lol, I had a feeling we were in for a misdirect reveal and it made me chuckle when it came. Us obsessed guys, always thinking about ice cream, wanting to eat it morning, noon and night - what are we like!
Mike
Comment Written 09-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2022
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Haha, Mike. Is anything ever really as it seems? This was fun and Inalways enjoy if the reader can smile too w me. Thanks for your very kind review and your fun comments my friend!
Comment from karenina
Oh you big teaser you!
This is adorable...
I mean, what's more sumptuous and satisfying than ice cream?
(Don't answer that!)
The remote control is another sought after
"pleasure."
Sigh...
There was a time!
Karenina
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2022
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Oh you big teaser you!
This is adorable...
I mean, what's more sumptuous and satisfying than ice cream?
(Don't answer that!)
The remote control is another sought after
"pleasure."
Sigh...
There was a time!
Karenina
Comment Written 09-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2022
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Lol, I never dared to be in a pr of short shorts, when he came home from work or dinner would be put on hold.. yup there was a time. However he didn't slow down, so I just hand him a bowl of ice cream now. And that helps. Jk!
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Best chuckle I've had all night!
Sometimes I prefer reading a book or reviewing here...
If Ben & Jerry's makes him happy...
Yay!
Comment from Liz O'Neill
This is very clever. You, of course, know where everyone's mind went. You knew howto draw the reader in with the perfect setting and imaginary characters. There was a division in whose side we would take.
This had a great twist at the end. Very funny.
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2022
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This is very clever. You, of course, know where everyone's mind went. You knew howto draw the reader in with the perfect setting and imaginary characters. There was a division in whose side we would take.
This had a great twist at the end. Very funny.
Comment Written 09-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2022
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I know I seemed so heartless, didn't I? But the truth is he should lose some weight, by drs orders. So what do you he takes me to McDonald's and to the Dairy Queen after my Dr appt today. Ugh, neither of us need it.
Anyway, thank thank you for your kind review and fun comments & words my friend.
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I will type my expression I use for such situations ....bwaaaa
Hugs
Comment from Sandra Nelms-Ludwig
Haha...this is a funny poke (may be the wrong word) at your husband and his needs. It will probably make most who read it laugh. The rhyme scheme is on point. The text is large enough to read, and the font selected is a cutesy font. The colors selected is great. The visual depicts the male as being simple to figure out...just give him some it! LOL
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2022
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Haha...this is a funny poke (may be the wrong word) at your husband and his needs. It will probably make most who read it laugh. The rhyme scheme is on point. The text is large enough to read, and the font selected is a cutesy font. The colors selected is great. The visual depicts the male as being simple to figure out...just give him some it! LOL
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 08-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2022
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Thanks so much Sandra for the lovely review and comments. Especially for the poke word. I feel like going back in and use it to poke some more fun at him. Thanks for the fun review my friend!
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Haha..do it! It will get a laugh regardless. You are welcome.
Comment from K.L. Rockquemore
You did a very creative job with the prompt.
It seems as though you had a lot of fun writing this.
I like the whimsical tone throughout, keeps it from getting to cheeky.
The rhymes work well, but the last one seemed forced.
Ice cream didn't seem to fit into the sentiment of the entire verse.
Overall a very nice job!
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2022
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You did a very creative job with the prompt.
It seems as though you had a lot of fun writing this.
I like the whimsical tone throughout, keeps it from getting to cheeky.
The rhymes work well, but the last one seemed forced.
Ice cream didn't seem to fit into the sentiment of the entire verse.
Overall a very nice job!
Comment Written 08-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2022
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Thanks so much, because I wondered about that so will go edit it to make it sound better & actually I just added the word get so it would show we had none in the house so will take it out. Gosh I love ya Kitty. Thank you again!
And also for all your kind words!
Comment from Douglas Goff
Love it. Very good set up and your rhymes were great. I was married to ice cream once, but now we are just good friends. LOL Keep up the good work!
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2022
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Love it. Very good set up and your rhymes were great. I was married to ice cream once, but now we are just good friends. LOL Keep up the good work!
Comment Written 08-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2022
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It's nice to know it was a friendly break up. Haha! I am so happy that you enjoyed my little tricky little poem and Yes I enjoyed it a lot. Thank you so much for your very kind words and the lovely & generous six stars. Thank you again my friend.
Comment from Dr. Von
I enjoyed your playful prose. This piece is well written and balances innuendo with evocative words to give the reader a perfect ending. Thank you for your creative work.
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2022
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I enjoyed your playful prose. This piece is well written and balances innuendo with evocative words to give the reader a perfect ending. Thank you for your creative work.
Comment Written 08-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2022
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You are so kind, Dr Von, but maybe you could help him with his problem.lol!
Thanks for the awesome review and the very kind words my friend. All so very much appreciated!
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You are welcome. I switched to non-dairy sugar-free Halo Top or Ben & Jerry's. Usually, tastes good without wrecking the health plan. Enjoy! LOL
Comment from LJbutterfly
Haha! This is hilarious. The story is delightful. The rhyming flows smoothly and is not forced. The subject is cleverly misleading, and the final sentence provides an unexpected twist. Best wishes in the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2022
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Haha! This is hilarious. The story is delightful. The rhyming flows smoothly and is not forced. The subject is cleverly misleading, and the final sentence provides an unexpected twist. Best wishes in the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 08-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2022
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Thanks for the fun comments. It was a fun one to write & everyone loves if they make someone else laugh or smile too.
Thanks for the awesome review and the very kind words my friend. All so very much appreciated!
