Novella - Unwanted Dog
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Unwanted Dog-1"Adopted By Unknown Stranger In Wal-Mart Parking Lo
15 total reviews
Comment from BethShelby
You seem to defining you life story with country songs. That is understandable since you are about to be immersed in them. You were a tough little dude. You appointment with Doctor Angelica Oliverez must have occurred somewhere near Walmart. I look forward to your next post.
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2022
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You seem to defining you life story with country songs. That is understandable since you are about to be immersed in them. You were a tough little dude. You appointment with Doctor Angelica Oliverez must have occurred somewhere near Walmart. I look forward to your next post.
Comment Written 29-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2022
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Country music became, and remains, a large part of my life. My appointment with the doctor happened at Hermitage Hall, but not on the same day of the fight. The next chapter covers more of that, as well as other issues. Appreciate the review.
Comment from royowen
What an interesting life you led Brett, I think if I've had your life, I would have been the same, I hated bullies, I was never interested in fisticuffs, but I could handle myself, I was good at sport so I had little trouble. Thanks for sharing my friend blessings Roy
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2022
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What an interesting life you led Brett, I think if I've had your life, I would have been the same, I hated bullies, I was never interested in fisticuffs, but I could handle myself, I was good at sport so I had little trouble. Thanks for sharing my friend blessings Roy
Comment Written 29-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2022
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Glad you enjoyed this posting. Appreciate the review.
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Most welcome
Comment from Judy Lawless
This is another troubling episode in your life at Hermitage Hall, Brett. It sounds like a nasty place to live. Thanks for sharing this experience with those of us who would have no idea.
I have a few suggestions:
"The Kenny O'Dell written, and Charlie Rich performed, song Behind Closed Doors defined life..." -move the comma after 'performed' to after 'song'. It will read better.
"I skirmished 'on a regular basis' with other boys..." - this phrase should be replaced with simply 'regularly'
"...and anything else(,) nailed down or otherwise." - add comma
"... and whatever it took(,) to get the message across..." - remove comma
"One particular incident that occurred in the cafeteria the day I strolled off the premises(,) helped end me up in a certain esteemed Wal-Mart parking lot." - add comma
"For whatever reason there may(,) be this occurrence has stuck with me" - add comma
"I could care less, but don't." - the correct phrase is I couldn't care less. If you could care less, that means you do care a lot. 'but don't' is unnecessary.
I hope you find this useful. I like the story.
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2022
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This is another troubling episode in your life at Hermitage Hall, Brett. It sounds like a nasty place to live. Thanks for sharing this experience with those of us who would have no idea.
I have a few suggestions:
"The Kenny O'Dell written, and Charlie Rich performed, song Behind Closed Doors defined life..." -move the comma after 'performed' to after 'song'. It will read better.
"I skirmished 'on a regular basis' with other boys..." - this phrase should be replaced with simply 'regularly'
"...and anything else(,) nailed down or otherwise." - add comma
"... and whatever it took(,) to get the message across..." - remove comma
"One particular incident that occurred in the cafeteria the day I strolled off the premises(,) helped end me up in a certain esteemed Wal-Mart parking lot." - add comma
"For whatever reason there may(,) be this occurrence has stuck with me" - add comma
"I could care less, but don't." - the correct phrase is I couldn't care less. If you could care less, that means you do care a lot. 'but don't' is unnecessary.
I hope you find this useful. I like the story.
Comment Written 29-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2022
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Appreciate the thorough review, suggestions, and corrections.
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You are most welcome, Brett.
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Life had to be hard in such an institution. I dislike bullies, always have. I dislike their cronies as well. (The ones who back him just so he will leave them alone.) They don't count in the pecking order. Good story, Brett. Enjoyed. Nancy:)
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reply by the author on 30-Aug-2022
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Life had to be hard in such an institution. I dislike bullies, always have. I dislike their cronies as well. (The ones who back him just so he will leave them alone.) They don't count in the pecking order. Good story, Brett. Enjoyed. Nancy:)
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Comment Written 29-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2022
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Still can not tolerate bullies. Appreciate your insights and the review.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
While teaching first grade I would remind my boys that for some reason the teacher never saw who started the fight, but always saw the ending. The one who started it would always deny that, so it was a 'he said, he said' situation. They seem to understand that or at least eventually saw it in action. Thank you for the sharing this story. You tell is very well.
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reply by the author on 30-Aug-2022
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While teaching first grade I would remind my boys that for some reason the teacher never saw who started the fight, but always saw the ending. The one who started it would always deny that, so it was a 'he said, he said' situation. They seem to understand that or at least eventually saw it in action. Thank you for the sharing this story. You tell is very well.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2022
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Glad you enjoyed this posting. Appreciate your insightful comments and the review.
