The Book of Retirement
Viewing comments for Chapter 13 "Confenssion"Short story about a fictive retirement
6 total reviews
Comment from Liz O'Neill
Your allusions will draw the reader in and take them back to their high school years when they were learning about the Greek & Roman myths. Many readers will identify with the speaker. Was it difficult foryou to allow her poor grammar & spelling. Maybe we should tell her about Grammarly.com
bwaaa. Clever perspective.
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2022
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Your allusions will draw the reader in and take them back to their high school years when they were learning about the Greek & Roman myths. Many readers will identify with the speaker. Was it difficult foryou to allow her poor grammar & spelling. Maybe we should tell her about Grammarly.com
bwaaa. Clever perspective.
Comment Written 31-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2022
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:)
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Full of errors. Could list them but that may sound hyper-critical. Instead, will take another route with my review.
Story tells of a woman who planned to retire at 50 years old.
But, life always seemed to get in the way. As did her constant desire for the "next bit of greener grass".
That meant giving up her goal of early retirement. Of course, she blamed everybody and everything but her own actions for these failures.
She defiantly acts like a butterfly flitting from one grand scheme to another.
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2022
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Full of errors. Could list them but that may sound hyper-critical. Instead, will take another route with my review.
Story tells of a woman who planned to retire at 50 years old.
But, life always seemed to get in the way. As did her constant desire for the "next bit of greener grass".
That meant giving up her goal of early retirement. Of course, she blamed everybody and everything but her own actions for these failures.
She defiantly acts like a butterfly flitting from one grand scheme to another.
Comment Written 30-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2022
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:)
Comment from ImaginosBuzzardoDesdinova
That was very well written. Sometimes a simple change can really make things extremely different. And going from a planned retirement at 50 to working until double that is pretty extreme.
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2022
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That was very well written. Sometimes a simple change can really make things extremely different. And going from a planned retirement at 50 to working until double that is pretty extreme.
Comment Written 28-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2022
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:)
Comment from lancellot
This is satire fiction so I am unsure of the awkward wording and structure is on purpose or not. I'm think the title is misspelled on purpose. I don't know, but I makes reading uncomfortable. If done for the story, perhaps add something in the notes.
{I got a sit in} my sunny paradise... of course my rented balcony and pensive I've start my confession:
- I would re-phrase this.
Just think about it, if Prometheus have not stolen the fire, where we will be today?
-Just think about it, if Prometheus had not stolen fire, where would we be today?
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2022
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This is satire fiction so I am unsure of the awkward wording and structure is on purpose or not. I'm think the title is misspelled on purpose. I don't know, but I makes reading uncomfortable. If done for the story, perhaps add something in the notes.
{I got a sit in} my sunny paradise... of course my rented balcony and pensive I've start my confession:
- I would re-phrase this.
Just think about it, if Prometheus have not stolen the fire, where we will be today?
-Just think about it, if Prometheus had not stolen fire, where would we be today?
Comment Written 28-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2022
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Hi Lancellot, I am so sorry for my grammar errors I have not done any writings for a couple of months... and it shows:)
Comment from BethShelby
You had your little break and not you feel rested up enough to have another go the working routine. Some people only think retirement is the way to go while they are still working. My daughter took an early retirement from a great paying job on July 3rd. She is already starting to get bored. I'm waiting for her plans to change.
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2022
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You had your little break and not you feel rested up enough to have another go the working routine. Some people only think retirement is the way to go while they are still working. My daughter took an early retirement from a great paying job on July 3rd. She is already starting to get bored. I'm waiting for her plans to change.
Comment Written 28-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2022
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I am so happy that she managed to take this bold step
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I do understand. LOL I saw many words either misspelled or used wrong. I am guessing you did that for effect. Or at least I hope you did. LOL I started to copy them and then decided against it. You don't normally make all those mistakes. I enjoyed reading and got a smile from it.
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2022
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I do understand. LOL I saw many words either misspelled or used wrong. I am guessing you did that for effect. Or at least I hope you did. LOL I started to copy them and then decided against it. You don't normally make all those mistakes. I enjoyed reading and got a smile from it.
Comment Written 28-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2022
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Hi Barbara, I actually was in a rush so I know realize that I've done lots of mistakes
