No more to the lake.
Remembering Gordon20 total reviews
Comment from GeraldShuler
Your story had me grabbing my own can of bug spray. Even though it was a horrible experience it is obvious that it is a treasured memory. Well done on sharing this piece of life with us.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
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Your story had me grabbing my own can of bug spray. Even though it was a horrible experience it is obvious that it is a treasured memory. Well done on sharing this piece of life with us.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
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Thank you Gerald, for your review,rating and very kind comments.
Best wishes
Mary
Comment from Judy Lawless
This is an interesting story, Mary. I guess it was quite the unpleasant adventure for someone who had never "roughed it" before. Having spent my summers at our very basic family cottage, none of this surprised me. :) Thanks for sharing.
A few suggestions:
"...walked through some tall weeds,(. new sentence) I thought it unusual..."
"For the past two years, she has been his nurse and caretaker.
To me, roughing it means a hotel room without cable. " - remove one line between these paragraphs.
"...spending the weekend riding around the lake.// (line needed to separate paragraphs)
We parked the car and walked through some tall weeds,...)
Last three sentences should be separated into separate paragraphs, because of the dialogue in the middle.
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2022
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This is an interesting story, Mary. I guess it was quite the unpleasant adventure for someone who had never "roughed it" before. Having spent my summers at our very basic family cottage, none of this surprised me. :) Thanks for sharing.
A few suggestions:
"...walked through some tall weeds,(. new sentence) I thought it unusual..."
"For the past two years, she has been his nurse and caretaker.
To me, roughing it means a hotel room without cable. " - remove one line between these paragraphs.
"...spending the weekend riding around the lake.// (line needed to separate paragraphs)
We parked the car and walked through some tall weeds,...)
Last three sentences should be separated into separate paragraphs, because of the dialogue in the middle.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2022
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Thank you for your suggestions, I truly appreciate your taking the time to improve the piece. Thank you for your review.
Best wishes and regards,
Mary
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You?re most welcome, Mary.
Comment from joann r romei
This made me laugh, i enjoyed the contrast of what you envisioned and what the reality was, I'd say you went camping, and Im not a fan of that myself, the bugs sounded like the were worst part. Keep playing lotto!!!
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
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This made me laugh, i enjoyed the contrast of what you envisioned and what the reality was, I'd say you went camping, and Im not a fan of that myself, the bugs sounded like the were worst part. Keep playing lotto!!!
Comment Written 16-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
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Thank you Joann, I appreciate your review.
I am glad that you enjoyed the story.
Best wishes
Mary
Comment from Theodore McDowell
Mary, this story deserves a six. It is so well-written and humorous in with low-key and witty descriptions, like the vulture at the end. You put me right in the mix of the misery--checking your watch every half hour (lol) and refusing to get in the boat. A nice tribute to the man.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
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Mary, this story deserves a six. It is so well-written and humorous in with low-key and witty descriptions, like the vulture at the end. You put me right in the mix of the misery--checking your watch every half hour (lol) and refusing to get in the boat. A nice tribute to the man.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
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Thank you. I truly appreciate your so kind comments and review.
Take care and best wishes.
Mary
Comment from John Ciarmello
Ha! I know this story wasn't meant to be funny, but when lights went out at 9:)) and you looked at your husband's watch, and it was only 9:30, it gave me a chuckle. I can feel your disappointment and the humidity in the room. The ending was perfect! I'm happy you're home, Mary, as I'm sure you are, fluffy pillows and all. Best, JohnC
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
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Ha! I know this story wasn't meant to be funny, but when lights went out at 9:)) and you looked at your husband's watch, and it was only 9:30, it gave me a chuckle. I can feel your disappointment and the humidity in the room. The ending was perfect! I'm happy you're home, Mary, as I'm sure you are, fluffy pillows and all. Best, JohnC
Comment Written 16-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
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Thank you, John, I truly appreciate your review. I am glad that you enjoyed our trip to the island.
My very best wishes,
Mary
Comment from royowen
It was more likely to go on those holidays when I was young, but then I didn't mind them then, although although Elaine and I travelled through Eastern Europe in 2008, and the facilities weren't great, beautifully written Mary, thanks for sharing, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
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It was more likely to go on those holidays when I was young, but then I didn't mind them then, although although Elaine and I travelled through Eastern Europe in 2008, and the facilities weren't great, beautifully written Mary, thanks for sharing, blessings Roy
Comment Written 16-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
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Thank you, Roy, for your review and very kind comments.
It is very much appreciated.
Blessings,
Mary
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Most welcome Mary
Comment from lyenochka
Thank you for sharing about Rose and Gordon and their very rustic "cabin" in the desolated (desolate?) island. I think you should get a badge for surviving that weekend! I think camping means sleeping with the windows open. I am glad that Rose and Gordon found each other. I remember your other stories of Rose. Enjoyed your humor.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
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Thank you for sharing about Rose and Gordon and their very rustic "cabin" in the desolated (desolate?) island. I think you should get a badge for surviving that weekend! I think camping means sleeping with the windows open. I am glad that Rose and Gordon found each other. I remember your other stories of Rose. Enjoyed your humor.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
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Thank you for your kind words and review, Helen. I truly appreciate your kindness. I changed to desolate.
Best wishes and my very best regards,
Mary
Comment from Fleedleflump
I would be right there with you - that sounds as close to hell on earth as anybody voluntarily visits! I enjoyed the gentle humour throughout your piece, and the nods to how different our expectations can be from reality. Well written.
Mike
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
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I would be right there with you - that sounds as close to hell on earth as anybody voluntarily visits! I enjoyed the gentle humour throughout your piece, and the nods to how different our expectations can be from reality. Well written.
Mike
Comment Written 16-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
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Thank you, Mike, for your very kind words and review. I am glad you enjoyed our trip to the lake.
Best wishes,
Mary
Comment from LisaMay
Oh Mary - this is priceless! I am a sadist - I enjoyed reading about your discomfort, glad it wasn't me enduring those horrors. I can identify all too well - my ex-partner invited me to his fishing 'lodge' a while back and I was imagining all sorts of luxury, but it was a tumbledown shack with a smelly outhouse. He caught no fish and we nearly starved.
I love the ending of your story - that vulture was drooling.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
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Oh Mary - this is priceless! I am a sadist - I enjoyed reading about your discomfort, glad it wasn't me enduring those horrors. I can identify all too well - my ex-partner invited me to his fishing 'lodge' a while back and I was imagining all sorts of luxury, but it was a tumbledown shack with a smelly outhouse. He caught no fish and we nearly starved.
I love the ending of your story - that vulture was drooling.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
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Thank you, Lisa, for your kind words and the six stars. You knew and shared my pain! Giving a cheer to five-star hotels, even fours!
Best regards,
Mary
Comment from dellsworthpoet
An interesting situation told with a slight amount of bitter-sweet humor. The flow and pace of the story are good. The narrative stays on point and is kitchen-table comfortable. The buzzard sighting at the end was imaginative and funny.
Thanks for a good read.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
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An interesting situation told with a slight amount of bitter-sweet humor. The flow and pace of the story are good. The narrative stays on point and is kitchen-table comfortable. The buzzard sighting at the end was imaginative and funny.
Thanks for a good read.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
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Thank you for your review and very kind words. It is appreciated.
Best wishes
Mary
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You are welcome.
