Heart Crafted Poems - 2022
Viewing comments for Chapter 71 " A Writers Reprimand"Musings of an old man - 2022
31 total reviews
Comment from Frank Malley
In Shakespearean sonnets, I think each four-line stanza is self-contained and makes its statement without finishing in the next stanza. This is a technical comment that doesn't affect the quality of this poet's lines. Also a technical matter, I much prefer the four stanzas each separated by a space and a final couplet, also following a space.
This poem wouldn't work as well as it does in that conventional format; clearly, what's written here is probably best as is, less like Shakespeare and yet in itself better expressed.
This poem's focus on great art is admirable, and deft. I think lines eleven and twelve struggle a bit with their music. Perhaps 'Mistakes are bound to happen, and tear the heart' (following a semi-colon on line 10)
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reply by the author on 10-Aug-2022
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In Shakespearean sonnets, I think each four-line stanza is self-contained and makes its statement without finishing in the next stanza. This is a technical comment that doesn't affect the quality of this poet's lines. Also a technical matter, I much prefer the four stanzas each separated by a space and a final couplet, also following a space.
This poem wouldn't work as well as it does in that conventional format; clearly, what's written here is probably best as is, less like Shakespeare and yet in itself better expressed.
This poem's focus on great art is admirable, and deft. I think lines eleven and twelve struggle a bit with their music. Perhaps 'Mistakes are bound to happen, and tear the heart' (following a semi-colon on line 10)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 10-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2022
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Frank, struggle as I do with sonnet making, I am profoundly grateful for your kind and positive support.
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The truth is that there were lots fewer rules about correct writing in Shakespeare's day, and right up to the nineteenth Century. Clearly, rules don't make the language great; imagination does. There's so much written about WS that if you talk to a Shakespeare scholar he/she will probably tie you in knots. You gotta read the sonnets, read some of the plays, and get the flow of the era. All the best, Frank
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Thank you, always ... Jim
