I've thought it all through ....
Please ...15 total reviews
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
Hard to say "no" to that! I think you have done a wonderful job of sharing a poem that conveys the argument every parent has had to deal with at one time or another. Very creative and a strong submission to the contest.
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2022
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Hard to say "no" to that! I think you have done a wonderful job of sharing a poem that conveys the argument every parent has had to deal with at one time or another. Very creative and a strong submission to the contest.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2022
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Thank you so much Michael. I appreciate your thoughts and review very much.
Comment from Wils
A cute poem, I can imagine the child pleading with parents about wanting a dog. I wonder if they said yes!
One suggestion: I would change the first line of the last stanza to " At night he'd lie down by my feet." To my mind that fits better. Of course, it is your choice. Good luck in the contest.
Geoff
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2022
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A cute poem, I can imagine the child pleading with parents about wanting a dog. I wonder if they said yes!
One suggestion: I would change the first line of the last stanza to " At night he'd lie down by my feet." To my mind that fits better. Of course, it is your choice. Good luck in the contest.
Geoff
Comment Written 09-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2022
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Thank you Geoff for your review and thoughts. I changed it to "just near my feet" as in my country we would not really say "by my feet", but thank you for making me think about it again. I appreciate your thoughtful review.
Comment from Fleedleflump
I think you've pitched this spot on. Of course, the reality may turn out to be very different, but I don't doubt the earnest intent. Such is the seriousness of youth :-). I very much enjoyed this one.
Mike
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2022
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I think you've pitched this spot on. Of course, the reality may turn out to be very different, but I don't doubt the earnest intent. Such is the seriousness of youth :-). I very much enjoyed this one.
Mike
Comment Written 09-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2022
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Thank you so much Mike. So glad I've hit the mark. Kids are always full of the best and most noble intentions ....
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Owning a dog is a big responsibility these days as it needs to be trained and this takes patience and understanding, I enjoyed your sentiment here, children sometimes want a dog and don't realise how much hard work they are, love Dolly x
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reply by the author on 09-Aug-2022
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Owning a dog is a big responsibility these days as it needs to be trained and this takes patience and understanding, I enjoyed your sentiment here, children sometimes want a dog and don't realise how much hard work they are, love Dolly x
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Comment Written 09-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2022
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Thank you Dolly. I appreciate your thoughts and review.
Comment from kahpot
Wow! I was really absorbed in this one, as a children's poem the words are wonderful, easy to follow with an educational (theme) story, "our family would be quite complete" little ones need this, this may sound a bit over critical but "the right amount I'm sure he'd tell" through me a bit as it (to me ) seemed to interrupt the flow and message, ( the right amount, instructions tell) or similar, none the less I thoroughly enjoyed this read, best wishes for your contest****kahpot
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reply by the author on 09-Aug-2022
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Wow! I was really absorbed in this one, as a children's poem the words are wonderful, easy to follow with an educational (theme) story, "our family would be quite complete" little ones need this, this may sound a bit over critical but "the right amount I'm sure he'd tell" through me a bit as it (to me ) seemed to interrupt the flow and message, ( the right amount, instructions tell) or similar, none the less I thoroughly enjoyed this read, best wishes for your contest****kahpot
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2022
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Thank you Kahpot for your very astute review. That was the one couplet I was quite uncomfortable with, so I have changed it a bit, hopefully for the better. I appreciate what you said.
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(To me ) flow is better and more understandable for children, your word and descriptions of what a child may think or wish are wonderful, I would love this (your insight) look forward to reading more****kahpot
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Thanks so much for taking another look. I appreciate that a lot.
