Time of My Life
best day of my life4 total reviews
Comment from GARY MACLEAN
Wow, what a true love story, destined to happen.
A few concerns:
A larger font size, perhaps 16, would make this a more readable piece.
CONSIDER explaining what ESL stands for and what it is.
Para 2, sentence 2: Add comma after (day)
Para 2, sentence 2: Add comma after (conditioning)
Para 3, sentence 2: (jet black) should be (jet-black) hyphen
Para 5, sentence 1: Add comma after (disappeared)
Under "She said"
Para 1: What are lines 2 and 3 supposed to be saying? Line 2 looks like a total formatting error and line 3 may be Korean but, if so, you should let your reader know it is and provide the interpretation.
Para 2: Remove one period and space after (life)
Para 3: Same concern as in Paragraph 1
Para 6, sentence 2: Add comma after (her)
I can relate with your story so well. I dreamt of my current wife over and over since I was twelve years old. Each time I would wake up with a gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach that would not subside for days. After two failed marriages, I finally met her, via the internet, and we have been extraordinarily happily married for 28 years. It is true, love can happen, and at first site.
Really nice story.
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2022
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Wow, what a true love story, destined to happen.
A few concerns:
A larger font size, perhaps 16, would make this a more readable piece.
CONSIDER explaining what ESL stands for and what it is.
Para 2, sentence 2: Add comma after (day)
Para 2, sentence 2: Add comma after (conditioning)
Para 3, sentence 2: (jet black) should be (jet-black) hyphen
Para 5, sentence 1: Add comma after (disappeared)
Under "She said"
Para 1: What are lines 2 and 3 supposed to be saying? Line 2 looks like a total formatting error and line 3 may be Korean but, if so, you should let your reader know it is and provide the interpretation.
Para 2: Remove one period and space after (life)
Para 3: Same concern as in Paragraph 1
Para 6, sentence 2: Add comma after (her)
I can relate with your story so well. I dreamt of my current wife over and over since I was twelve years old. Each time I would wake up with a gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach that would not subside for days. After two failed marriages, I finally met her, via the internet, and we have been extraordinarily happily married for 28 years. It is true, love can happen, and at first site.
Really nice story.
Comment Written 06-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2022
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Thanks, made your corrections. I appreciate your detailed critiques.
Comment from Cindy Decker 2
Author,
Your beautiful story tells of love that was meant to be. Some people do not have overt signs like you, and maybe they don't fare so well in marriage.
Blessings,
And good luck!
Cindy
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2022
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Author,
Your beautiful story tells of love that was meant to be. Some people do not have overt signs like you, and maybe they don't fare so well in marriage.
Blessings,
And good luck!
Cindy
Comment Written 05-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2022
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thanks for the review. appreciate it as always
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Wow this is a great story. I loved the initial 'dream' when he fell off his seat in the classroom. This really is a story of love and fate. Good luck in the contest, I really enjoyed the read.
Cheers
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2022
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Wow this is a great story. I loved the initial 'dream' when he fell off his seat in the classroom. This really is a story of love and fate. Good luck in the contest, I really enjoyed the read.
Cheers
Comment Written 05-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2022
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thanks. It was a true story. I had the dream in 1973 met her in 1982.
Comment from Wendy G
Although I had read a similar story and poems previously, it still is quite striking how many dreams you had and the assurance that you both had that you were right for each other. Well done. Best wishes for your entry.
Wendy
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2022
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Although I had read a similar story and poems previously, it still is quite striking how many dreams you had and the assurance that you both had that you were right for each other. Well done. Best wishes for your entry.
Wendy
Comment Written 05-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2022
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thanks a lot. a true love story. Would make a good movie.