My Water Addicted Grandkids
A slight exaggeration, but he did love his water35 total reviews
Comment from Paul McFarland
What is it about water and young children? We went through this with our children and grandchildren. I've got to take a swing at this with a poem.
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2022
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What is it about water and young children? We went through this with our children and grandchildren. I've got to take a swing at this with a poem.
Comment Written 06-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2022
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Paul, thank you for the very kind review and words. This was many years ago, but when I read the prompt for this one to do a poem about a mess,
I remembered all too well how our little bugger used to get into water all the time. Actually I miss those days but doubt I could keep up now. Lol
Thanks again my dear friend
Comment from Carolyn Dooley
This was a great story. And my son took a hose pipe and soaked me one day. He was around four. He loved to play in the water. It sounds like you had much fun with them. Thank you for sharing your great memories.
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2022
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This was a great story. And my son took a hose pipe and soaked me one day. He was around four. He loved to play in the water. It sounds like you had much fun with them. Thank you for sharing your great memories.
Comment Written 06-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2022
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Carolyn, oh yes I remember being soaked by the hose. Somehow they thought it was fun to get grandma! I thank you for the very kind review and words. This was many years ago, but when I read the prompt for this one to do a poem about a mess, I remembered all too well how our little bugger used to get into water all the time. Actually I miss those days but doubt I could keep up now. Lol
Thanks again my dear friend
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You are welcome.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Children are attracted to the water and it can be dangerous as there are incidents of children drowning every year. You made me smile with your memories here, a well thought out and rhymed write full of joyous times, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2022
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Children are attracted to the water and it can be dangerous as there are incidents of children drowning every year. You made me smile with your memories here, a well thought out and rhymed write full of joyous times, love Dolly x
Comment Written 06-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2022
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Thanks Dolly, I am the kind of grandma that never takes my eyes off of them, but that didn't mean they didn't get into the hose, birdbath, dogs dish, etc. Those little buggers are fast, but we always have to exaggerate the problem a little otherwise it would make for some boring writing. However whenever I took them to a pool or lake they had life jackets and I watched like a hawk.
Comment from Janice Canerdy
Your skillfully written, expressive poem provides a vividly descriptive glimpse of a day of life with two active little kids--the things they get into, how they can be escape artists, . . .
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2022
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Your skillfully written, expressive poem provides a vividly descriptive glimpse of a day of life with two active little kids--the things they get into, how they can be escape artists, . . .
Comment Written 05-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2022
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Awe thank you Janice for such a kind review and lovely comments
Yon u made my night, perhaps an
Comment from Tom Horonzy
I loved the poem and could clearly see the joy those children had by your words which painted the scenes accurately. I suggest though there are a number a times when too many syllables are in a line which could have been shortened like: It was like a magnet; dog dish, faucet, sink or hose
You were such a mess; wet from head down to your toes. ' might have read "Water was a magnet be it in a dog dish sink or hose. Wherever it was wetted you head to toes." Purely a suggestion but I found many lines one or two syllables extra.
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2022
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I loved the poem and could clearly see the joy those children had by your words which painted the scenes accurately. I suggest though there are a number a times when too many syllables are in a line which could have been shortened like: It was like a magnet; dog dish, faucet, sink or hose
You were such a mess; wet from head down to your toes. ' might have read "Water was a magnet be it in a dog dish sink or hose. Wherever it was wetted you head to toes." Purely a suggestion but I found many lines one or two syllables extra.
Comment Written 05-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2022
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Ok thanks Tom. I had edited over and over and thought the commas guided the rhythm perfectly, but will go back and definitely look at them again. Thanks my very dear friend for the feedback and kind words.
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Hey. We all have poetic license. My suggestions may not be better but if I think a thought I'm wrought unless I get to express it more oft than perhaps I should. No ill intent intended.
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And none taken my awesome friend. I just asked if as a favor to me that you would read it in the rhythm with the commas as your guide. I just wanted to know if that made a difference? Because I respect your opinion that much Tom.
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I have and see and yet? let?s review stanza one which changes tenses. My oldest grandson Connor; what a boy in every way (,is a boy in every way.
Addicted to the water; t'was your favorite place to play (it?s his favorite place to play). Do I know better? Not necessarily. Many writers write by feel, memories, and often offend the rules, which by the way I do too,because I go where it feels est forms. Good luck.
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Thanks and I always love you for your honesty my dear friend!
Comment from WLHall
I can so relate to having grandkids that are a constant mess. I get one thing cleaned up, then another mess happens. I love them dearly, but glad when they go home! Well written, nice rhyming and no spags I could see. Enjoyed the end especially. Great job!
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2022
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I can so relate to having grandkids that are a constant mess. I get one thing cleaned up, then another mess happens. I love them dearly, but glad when they go home! Well written, nice rhyming and no spags I could see. Enjoyed the end especially. Great job!
Comment Written 05-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2022
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Thank you for the very kind review and words. This was many years ag, but when I read the prompt for this one to do a poem about a mess, I remembered all too well how our little bugger used to get into water all the time. Actually I miss those days but doubt I could keep up now. Lol
Thanks again my dear friend
Comment from kahpot
You have to love kids they are a bundle of fun, this is an excellent read of grandchildren and the humorous adventures they had, gorgeous photos, very well written, best wishes for your contest****kahpot
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2022
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You have to love kids they are a bundle of fun, this is an excellent read of grandchildren and the humorous adventures they had, gorgeous photos, very well written, best wishes for your contest****kahpot
Comment Written 05-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2022
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Thank you for the very kind review and words. This was many years ag, but when I read the prompt for this one to do a poem about a mess, I remembered all too well how our little bugger used to get into water all the time. Actually I miss those days but doubt I could keep up now. Lol
Thanks again my dear friend
Comment from Sandra Nelms-Ludwig
What a wonderful and funny poem about your grandson and his little cousin. The rhyme scheme is on point. The visuals if real are cute. This is a great entry to the contest. It was a fun read.
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2022
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What a wonderful and funny poem about your grandson and his little cousin. The rhyme scheme is on point. The visuals if real are cute. This is a great entry to the contest. It was a fun read.
Comment Written 05-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2022
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Oh thank you Sandra! And as always I truly appreciate your kind review and comments! You are an awesome friend and reviewer and I can't tell you how much I appreciate you, as I have lately received so many reviews that are obvious generic ones. So thank you for that!
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You are most welcome. Many just robotically type the same generic message for all poems. They are just collecting points.
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I do appreciate that you aren't like that.
These pictures are indeed my little water partners in crime. Now they are grown & 19 but when I read the prompt I remembered quite vividly!
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Wow! How times fly. I would give them both a copy of this poem as one of their birthday or Christmas gifts. They are old enough now to appreciate it.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Excellent entry for the What A Mess! writing prompt contest.
It's pretty funny and I'm glad I read your author notes. I was worried LoL
Nice presentation. Your words flow well very descriptive and clear imagery.
Good luck in the contest.
Gypsy
"The poet waits quietly to paint the unsaid." - Atticus
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2022
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Excellent entry for the What A Mess! writing prompt contest.
It's pretty funny and I'm glad I read your author notes. I was worried LoL
Nice presentation. Your words flow well very descriptive and clear imagery.
Good luck in the contest.
Gypsy
"The poet waits quietly to paint the unsaid." - Atticus
Comment Written 05-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2022
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Thanks Gypsy for the kind review and comments regarding my poem.
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
This is an absolutely delightful story of boys being boys in the best of ways. I like the way you end it - "please get your fill" - as you fill things with water.
The only critique I'd offer is that you seem to mix present and past tense. Is it happening now, or has it happened?
Great entry for the contest - good luck.
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2022
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This is an absolutely delightful story of boys being boys in the best of ways. I like the way you end it - "please get your fill" - as you fill things with water.
The only critique I'd offer is that you seem to mix present and past tense. Is it happening now, or has it happened?
Great entry for the contest - good luck.
Comment Written 05-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2022
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Awe, I was going to change that and forgot. Thank you so much Pam. Yes, it was like 16 years ago as they are both 19 now and now fishing is his favorite thing to do. I thank you my dear friend and I am going to change that right now. Thanks for the great review and comments Pam and yes, just to have them get their fill of water was nice or that little bugger would sneak into it every chance he got. LOL
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Awe, I was going to change that and forgot. Thank you so much Pam. Yes, it was like 16 years ago as they are both 19 now and now fishing is his favorite thing to do. I thank you my dear friend and I am going to change that right now. Thanks for the great review and comments Pam and yes, just to have them get their fill of water was nice or that little bugger would sneak into it every chance he got. LOL
